For years the standard protocol has been to give the officials an orange bag filled with cash the day before the game. The new guy did not understand that when playing an opponent who also has orange as the primary color of their uniform, the bag of cash must be marked "University of Texas" so that the proper calls will be made.

Defensive holding on a run up the middle? That is the kind of call we use to crush the spirit of the teams from Kansas and Iowa when they start to get a little uppity and think they have a chance a win. Clearly these officials were confused during the heat of the moment and screwed up.

I expect by now a conference call has happened between Bowlsby and the officiating crew to make sure this sort of miscarriage of justice never happens again. Order will be restored in time for this weeks game against the core value lacking, beer stealing Horned Frogs. I will be back later this week with my weekly prediction but have to go now so I can fill out the forms needed to get on the liver transplant list.

Perrin played for Royal. He's known about a lot of bags of cash over the years.

We're playing the long game. Perrin's dad was an Ag. Perrin is one of our plants, just like Charlie is.