Found it on google
http://pixeltop.org/Forums/6/Topics/721865?page=1I think Man Named Don was some tsip who'd been caught lying about his military service, or something. i can't remember.
From the poster "Snakes on a Plane"
quote:
I'll bet "Boy Named Sue" is "Man Craving Dong":
quote:
The Ballad of Man Craving Dong
(sung to the tune of Boy Named Sue)
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to my other dad and me.
Just a bad WHOIS program and an empty bottle of d_o_o_sh.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
Coz I was the gayest, sorriest, most-lying kid
But before he left, he went and named me "Don."
Well, he musta known I’d catch a lot of flak
for grabbing nuts and drinking gak.
It seems I had to fist men my whole life through.
Some guy would pay me and I'd give head
And some girl’d laugh and I'd bone her Uncle Fred.
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Don."
Well, I grew up obsessed and I grew up mean,
My fist got used and was never clean,
I'd roam from town to town to find new shlong.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and gay bars
And blow that man who gave me that awful name.
Well, it was Baghdad in mid-July
And I just hit town and my scrote was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a boy.
At Oil Can Abdul's, on a street of mud,
There at a table, blowing pud,
Was the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Don."
Well, I knew that snake from a picture I’d seen
On the Erwin Center’s DiamondVision screen,
And I had run his IP and tracked it to Iraq.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And that was just his Johnson, which felt oddly cold,
And I said: "My name is ‘Don!' How do you do?
Now you’re gonna get blown!!"
Well, I hit him hard with my crap-covered hand
And he went down first, like my kind of man,
Then he come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my rear.
But I busted some MREs right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
With Sunnis and Kurds looking at us like we were queer.
I tell ya, I've loved tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He was rented like a mule and he bit on every thread.
I heard him LOL and then I heard him c u s s,
He went for his jimmy and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.
And he said: "Don, the future is nigh
And if a man's gonna be obsessed, he's gotta lie.
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya make crap up.
So I give ya that name and I said “pwn3d”
I knew you'd have to lie and get a taste for bone
And it's the name that helped to make you gay."
He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fake fight
And now you can post on Texags about it all night
Say you killed me and I won't expose you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the lies in your resume and the sperm in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-beech that named you "Don.'"
I got all choked up and I spit out his shvance
And I told his dumb ass to "Dance, Puppet, Dance,
And I left with thoughts and prayers for his ugly ass.
And I think about him, my gay old pop,
Every time I try to play Internet cop,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him...
Webb! Or Lea! Or Boston! Anything but Don! I still hate that name!
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[This message has been edited by HeyMoe (edited 11/10/2010 8:18p).]
[This message has been edited by HeyMoe (edited 11/10/2010 8:23p).]
