This is how you run small-town smack. The level of uberchoadosity of selected texas cities, on a scale from (10)worst to (1)the least awful.
10) Houston
+pretty easy to find stuff
+Astros (my team)
+++many good Aggie friends
+people drive fast all the time;
-people drive bat-**** crazy when it's raining
-humidity + smog + pollen = lower resp infection, and don't forget the O&G stink from the port east.
-too much diversity. nobody trusts each other.
-feels like an east coast city, not Texas
-close to nothing geographically cool. sorry no points for the big thicket or Sam Houston N.F.
Summary:
Decent, but not great, restaurants everywhere...BBQ, cajun, creole, taco stands, family mexican/tex-mex joints, Bucca di Beppo...but no place to burn off those calories b/c it's 105 with a 105% relative humidity and everyone is on their couch watching sit-com smut and eating ice cream under the A.C.. Houstonians are hot, sultry, obese, stressed and depressed. And.....when I'm on 249, once I cross the Tomball spur exit headed back to B/CS, I get this feeling of freedom and put on some Thunderstruck.
oh yeah - for any single Houstonian women over the age of 26 are BAT SHEET crazy
(9) Dallas
+women--HOT SINGLE professional women
-women--HOT SINGLE professional gold-diggin broads
+cleaner air
+not as humid
+quasi-legitimate winter season
+close to MWSP and Quartz and Whichita Mountains (good climbing)
+D A L L A S C O W B O Y S ! ! !
+more good ol' boys than people who can't shake your left hand
-traffic is still terrible...possibly worse than Houston's
+Bass Pro and REI right close together
Summary:
Dallas gets some extra mojo in this one, b/c it is a little bit closer to my family back in Levelland (I will do a suckage assessment for Levelland later-should be good) and also has some decent ecotourism within a half-days drive. And it's about a day closer to the REAL mountains.
(eleventy-billion+) Austin:
---see Houston
+climbing, riding
---hippies like FXST and everything they embody: body funk, yellow teeth and toenails, herpes, a mountain of ugly, toothless women with tats where they don't need to be and clothes void of body parts where they should be
-****tard fixies with their painted-on women's jeans and plastic white belts. Organic this, organic that, Green this, green that. Wtf is a "green" sidewalk? It's a sidewalk. It's ****ing gray.
----------------------------- sips and t-shirt sips, and their liberal, BOMC machine
Summary: B.O. + t.u. + smog + pot + oozing with liberals = biggest piece of shiite in Texas
[This message has been edited by Admiral Akbar (edited 5/3/2010 11:53p).]
10) Houston
+pretty easy to find stuff
+Astros (my team)
+++many good Aggie friends
+people drive fast all the time;
-people drive bat-**** crazy when it's raining
-humidity + smog + pollen = lower resp infection, and don't forget the O&G stink from the port east.
-too much diversity. nobody trusts each other.
-feels like an east coast city, not Texas
-close to nothing geographically cool. sorry no points for the big thicket or Sam Houston N.F.
Summary:
Decent, but not great, restaurants everywhere...BBQ, cajun, creole, taco stands, family mexican/tex-mex joints, Bucca di Beppo...but no place to burn off those calories b/c it's 105 with a 105% relative humidity and everyone is on their couch watching sit-com smut and eating ice cream under the A.C.. Houstonians are hot, sultry, obese, stressed and depressed. And.....when I'm on 249, once I cross the Tomball spur exit headed back to B/CS, I get this feeling of freedom and put on some Thunderstruck.
oh yeah - for any single Houstonian women over the age of 26 are BAT SHEET crazy
(9) Dallas
+women--HOT SINGLE professional women
-women--HOT SINGLE professional gold-diggin broads
+cleaner air
+not as humid
+quasi-legitimate winter season
+close to MWSP and Quartz and Whichita Mountains (good climbing)
+D A L L A S C O W B O Y S ! ! !
+more good ol' boys than people who can't shake your left hand
-traffic is still terrible...possibly worse than Houston's
+Bass Pro and REI right close together
Summary:
Dallas gets some extra mojo in this one, b/c it is a little bit closer to my family back in Levelland (I will do a suckage assessment for Levelland later-should be good) and also has some decent ecotourism within a half-days drive. And it's about a day closer to the REAL mountains.
(eleventy-billion+) Austin:
---see Houston
+climbing, riding
---hippies like FXST and everything they embody: body funk, yellow teeth and toenails, herpes, a mountain of ugly, toothless women with tats where they don't need to be and clothes void of body parts where they should be
-****tard fixies with their painted-on women's jeans and plastic white belts. Organic this, organic that, Green this, green that. Wtf is a "green" sidewalk? It's a sidewalk. It's ****ing gray.
----------------------------- sips and t-shirt sips, and their liberal, BOMC machine
Summary: B.O. + t.u. + smog + pot + oozing with liberals = biggest piece of shiite in Texas
[This message has been edited by Admiral Akbar (edited 5/3/2010 11:53p).]