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How much to leave your kids

12,075 Views | 93 Replies | Last: 23 days ago by The Silverback
Talon2DSO
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5:08p, 10/18/24
AG
I have no idea yet. I hope I can leave them something. I'm digging out of my parents hole due to poor financial habits and just growing up poor. I'm the first of the family to go as far as I have. Same for my wife.

I just hope I can get them further ahead than where I was and leave them enough to do good with it when we're gone.
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FrioAg 00
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1:13a, 10/19/24
AG
I am actively misleading my kids, but it's a good lie - like Santa Clause.

I've committed to each of them to pay for 100% of any education or training, so long as it is advancing their vocation or employability. I've also put money in an irrevocable trust to benefit them (payouts at 30, 35 and 40). They can log in and see exactly what's in these funds, and they can even make requests to the trustee on how to invest the funds - so they feel real ownership of the asset.

However, I have convinced each of them that's all they'll ever inherit from me. They know I've accumulated a lot more - but are certain my plan is to give it all away. But the truth is - if I judge them to be good stewards, I'll entrust them with managing it when I'm gone.

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YouBet
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9:11a, 10/19/24
AG
I will have to figure this out. We don't have kids and our nieces and nephews will already have too much they will inherit so I'm hesitant to add to that.

As of now, all those kids get anything we have left spread equally amongst them but I really want to find an additional outlet for some/much of whatever that sum is.

So our think I plan will be:

1. Try to spend it all to 0 without running out.
2. Find a worthy charity.
3. Give rest to siblings kids.
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BenTheGoodAg
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In reply to YouBet • 9:21a, 10/19/24
AG
YouBet said:
I will have to figure this out. We don't have kids and our nieces and nephews will already have too much they will inherit so I'm hesitant to add to that.

As of now, all those kids get anything we have left spread equally amongst them but I really want to find an additional outlet for some/much of whatever that sum is.

So our think I plan will be:

1. Try to spend it all to 0 without running out.
2. Find a worthy charity.
3. Give rest to siblings kids.


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YouBet
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In reply to BenTheGoodAg • 9:24a, 10/19/24
AG
BenTheGoodAg said:
YouBet said:
I will have to figure this out. We don't have kids and our nieces and nephews will already have too much they will inherit so I'm hesitant to add to that.

As of now, all those kids get anything we have left spread equally amongst them but I really want to find an additional outlet for some/much of whatever that sum is.

So our think I plan will be:

1. Try to spend it all to 0 without running out.
2. Find a worthy charity.
3. Give rest to siblings kids.




I do plan to leave a sum to the B&I board to be used as a collective stock/fund betting pool. I've yet to name an administrator of this fund.
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BenTheGoodAg
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In reply to YouBet • 9:25a, 10/19/24
Trident 88
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10:47a, 10/19/24
AG
Both my sons graduated from A&M with a car and no debt. That was my minimum goal.

I set up a trust to make it easy for them to get whatever's left after my wife and I are gone. Hopefully, it's a pretty decent amount that they can use to fund a profitable side hustle. The problem is that while I doubt I'll stick around that long, my wife will probably live well past 100. I fully expect my sons will be carrying her tiny, old, withered self around in a backpack.
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third deck
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1:52p, 10/19/24
AG
This is a great thread, good topic. Just a few thoughts…

1.) Proverbs says "a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children". It is a noble and praiseworthy thing to provide for your children and even generations beyond.

2.). I've talked to enough estate planning attorneys to hear many horror stories of giving kids too much, too soon. Baking in a plan that gives them an inheritance once they have seen a few hard knocks in life is certainly wise. Humanity, on the whole, doesn't respond well when given too much without much life wisdom. See countless professional athletes.

3.) Lastly, one of the biggest threats to inherited wealth is your kids future marriages. In today's environment, and more so for men, it would highly advisable for young people to have a prenuptial agreement. Not sure the mechanics of this, but might tie some inheritance to them having a prenup in place or else explore other creative ways via trust or otherwise to protect an inheritance from a future psycho spouse.
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YouBet
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In reply to third deck • 2:19p, 10/19/24
AG
My wife actually agrees with #3.

Granted, I brought much less to the marriage than she did.

(We don't have a pre-nup.)
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FrioAg 00
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2:27p, 10/19/24
AG
A good irrevocable trust that pays them out later in life also protects from an early marriage mistake - because from and asset perspective it's not theirs yet so they can't lose it
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Brush Country Ag
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2:54p, 10/19/24
AG
I believe if is inherited money, if the recipient keeps it in a separate account (does not co-mingle), it is safe from divorce grabbing.

Something to check into imo.
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Brian Earl Spilner
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In reply to The Silverback • 3:47p, 10/19/24
AG
The Silverback said:
chrisfield said:
You're overthinking it.

Generational wealth typically means lots of money so people don't have to work hard for it and can just spend.

He's talking about the wealth of knowledge and grit that helps someone work for their own money to spend.

It's not anymore complicated than that. Now whether you agree or not is a different story.
You can get financial knowledge in a few hours on Youtube is my point.

Generational implies that what you are giving (money, a business, land, knowledge, etc.) impacts multiple generations. Giving your kids $0 but knowledge on how to save and use compound interest isn't generational IMO. Just my $.02 though.


It's no different than leaving them money. If you educate your kid and they pass it on to their kids, it is generational.

On the other hand, an entire family fortune can be blown by a single generation.
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Complete Idiot
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In reply to evestor1 • 9:13a, 10/21/24
evestor1 said:
assuming my children do not become liberals or decide to participate in lifestyles i disagree with ... i would leave my kids every thing i have. whether it be 1mm or 100mm


and yes - i am serious. i will not give a dollar to anyone that has mega-different ideals than me.

I am sorry that political division has been so ramped up in our society, and in your life, that it has reached a point where you rate a human's worth, even that of your own children's, based on their political leanings.

I also wouldn't leave money to a child who has a criminal lifestyle, or has perhaps fallen into an addiction so badly I know the money will possibly be used in a way that could kill them. However, whether someone - my own children! - lean towards the democrat, republican, green, libertarian or whatever political parties has no bearing on my feelings about their worthiness. There are so much more important human beliefs, human behaviors towards each other, that have true value. I honestly can't believe someone would be so politicized it trumps family bonds, but I feel it's society's fault.
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FTAC2011
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In reply to Complete Idiot • 9:49a, 10/21/24
AG
Complete Idiot said:
evestor1 said:
assuming my children do not become liberals or decide to participate in lifestyles i disagree with ... i would leave my kids every thing i have. whether it be 1mm or 100mm


and yes - i am serious. i will not give a dollar to anyone that has mega-different ideals than me.

I am sorry that political division has been so ramped up in our society, and in your life, that it has reached a point where you rate a human's worth, even that of your own children's, based on their political leanings.

I also wouldn't leave money to a child who has a criminal lifestyle, or has perhaps fallen into an addiction so badly I know the money will possibly be used in a way that could kill them. However, whether someone - my own children! - lean towards the democrat, republican, green, libertarian or whatever political parties has no bearing on my feelings about their worthiness. There are so much more important human beliefs, human behaviors towards each other, that have true value. I honestly can't believe someone would be so politicized it trumps family bonds, but I feel it's society's fault.


Maybe it's just me but I don't see the poster's statement about valuing them any less as human beings. You can love your children with everything you have, and also believe they will not be good stewards of your hard earned money.

If the morals and values of a child conflict with that of a parent and that parent does not want to give large sums of money to a person that disagrees with their morals, then I have no problem with it. You don't know what your money will fund (organizations, etc).
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Apache
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2:32p, 10/21/24
AG
Quote:
assuming my children do not become liberals or decide to participate in lifestyles i disagree with ... i would leave my kids every thing i have. whether it be 1mm or 100mm


and yes - i am serious. i will not give a dollar to anyone that has mega-different ideals than me.
Curious if you have kids yet?
My daughter is very liberal, but I can't imagine leaving her high & dry.
I would also imagine that leaving one kid a million & the other a cup of coffee is an excellent way to damage a good relationship between siblings. There are ways to pass on things (paying for house, education, trust for healthcare, etc.) that wouldn't be used to fund NAMBLA or PETA. lol.

People tend to grow more conservative as they mature anyway. JMO.
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Talon2DSO
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In reply to FrioAg 00 • 8:14a, 10/29/24
AG
FrioAg 00 said:
I am actively misleading my kids, but it's a good lie - like Santa Clause.

I've committed to each of them to pay for 100% of any education or training, so long as it is advancing their vocation or employability. I've also put money in an irrevocable trust to benefit them (payouts at 30, 35 and 40). They can log in and see exactly what's in these funds, and they can even make requests to the trustee on how to invest the funds - so they feel real ownership of the asset.

However, I have convinced each of them that's all they'll ever inherit from me. They know I've accumulated a lot more - but are certain my plan is to give it all away. But the truth is - if I judge them to be good stewards, I'll entrust them with managing it when I'm gone.



My wife is a wealth manager at Schneider Downs here in Pittsburgh and advises some pretty high net worth families. This is exactly the kind of thing she tries to have them do. She also advise their kids on how to make it last beyond their generation. She's had a few situations where the kids (adult kids) tapped into the trust too quick and their projection over the next 20 years wasn't rosy.
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AggieDruggist89
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8:29a, 10/29/24
AG
Leaving my kids nothing. Trust will be set up for grandkids.

My parents are leaving us nothing. But they setup a trust for their grandkids. Mine and bros kids.
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schwack schwack
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10:04a, 10/29/24
AG
No kids & siblings don't need it (and one - if you've followed an old post of ours would have gotten nothing anyway) so we are skipping them & dividing up the leftovers between nieces & nephews. They all have families & children of their own now & could use it.

The only problem we have is that the one sib mentioned above had one child that is deceased, so it looks like only one side of our family is getting all the spoils. That seems unfair to me but we don't know how to remedy it - maybe a donation in that nephew's name? Also, maybe a little something to Mr. Schwack's parents. Would need to figure out a % or something for them if still living when we aren't, but they don't need it either.

Already feeling sorry for our niece executrix - although the investment & banking accounts will be fairly cut & dry, the rental properties could complicate & drag things out having to wait for sales, etc. Our long range plan is to sell one a year to avoid big capital gains & use that money for day to day living, so if we miraculously time it right......

edit to add: Just going thru this stuff with the passing of my Mom this year. It was an easy process as she had named beneficiaries on all accounts, done a TODD on her home, etc. Although we are old & didn't need it, it was sure a nice gesture coming from my parents who worked hard at low wages, saved their whole lives, taught us right from wrong. They blessed each of us with a college education, help with our lives when getting started and they were still able to leave each of us a nice equal sum at the end. Even though we did not have children, they didn't "penalize" us and I got my equal share. Mom knew of our plans to leave our estate to my sibling's children anyway, so it will all work out. Pardon my sentimental post - today Mom would be 93.
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DRE06
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In reply to rononeill • 11:58a, 10/29/24
AG
rononeill said:
i believe the differences in quality of life on either sides of that gap may one day be as basic as being able to afford healthy food, access to good health care, live in a safe area, have a choice of good schools, afford vacations you want to go on - maybe it wont be this generation or the next, but i can see that coming one day and I want to do everything i can to give our descendants any advantage they can get.
That day has already arrived and its getting worse by the day. I do agree with your view on this. Its early, but our kids (6 & 9) today are doing everything right to be in group A. They may not know it or ever need it, but we will absolutely be a safety net for them from falling to group B. That's why we work our asses off today.
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10andBOUNCE
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In reply to FrioAg 00 • 12:00p, 10/29/24
AG
FrioAg 00 said:
I am actively misleading my kids, but it's a good lie - like Santa Clause.
Off topic, but our son was really pissed at us when he realized there was no Santa. Calling us liars, etc. Said he would never do that to his kids.
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FrioAg 00
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In reply to 10andBOUNCE • 3:06p, 10/29/24
AG
I would bet money his story changes when he has his own kid. Those first few years of Xmas time are pure gold.

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TTUArmy
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10:38p, 10/29/24
Nothing. I hope the last check bounces.
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AggieDruggist89
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In reply to 10andBOUNCE • 7:33a, 10/30/24
AG
10andBOUNCE said:
FrioAg 00 said:
I am actively misleading my kids, but it's a good lie - like Santa Clause.
Off topic, but our son was really pissed at us when he realized there was no Santa. Calling us liars, etc. Said he would never do that to his kids.
You allow your kids to behave this way?
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The Silverback
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In reply to Brian Earl Spilner • 8:33a, 10/30/24
AG
Brian Earl Spilner said:
The Silverback said:
chrisfield said:
You're overthinking it.

Generational wealth typically means lots of money so people don't have to work hard for it and can just spend.

He's talking about the wealth of knowledge and grit that helps someone work for their own money to spend.

It's not anymore complicated than that. Now whether you agree or not is a different story.
You can get financial knowledge in a few hours on Youtube is my point.

Generational implies that what you are giving (money, a business, land, knowledge, etc.) impacts multiple generations. Giving your kids $0 but knowledge on how to save and use compound interest isn't generational IMO. Just my $.02 though.


It's no different than leaving them money. If you educate your kid and they pass it on to their kids, it is generational.

On the other hand, an entire family fortune can be blown by a single generation.

I personally just don't get this logic. Your kids can be educated on financial literacy in 20 minutes on YoutTube. How is that a noble thing to be the only item you pass down to your kids? Sure, its possible a family fortune can be blown by a single generation but if you leave them nothing then its a 100% chance its blown, because they get $0. Dont know what the stats are but leaving them money to buy a house, start a business, have a financial cushion, money to pay for their kids college, etc etc seems more likely to help than hurt the next generations. Where is leaving them $0 accomplishes nothing other than making them work harder to get ahead.
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