***** 2024 Houston Astros Season Thread ***** [Staff Warning]

4,079,760 Views | 67712 Replies | Last: 1 mo ago by jkag89
Mr.Bond
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In reply to [removed post] • 12:18p, 4/5/24
AG
Bregxit said:
Mr.Bond said:
Bregxit said:
Mr.Bond said:
Beau Holder said:
Mr.Bond said:
EastCoastAgNc said:



**** apple




Apple visual quality with Astros radio sync is elite.




I say again. **** apple


Is there anything you are ever...you know...happy or excited about?




I always smile while receiving blow job's


Lest I repeat myself...




There's a ask your mom joke here but I'm a classy guy
Im looking for Ray Finkle.... and a clean pair of shorts. Im just a very big Finkle fan. This is my Graceland, sir.


MAGA

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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to Mr.Bond • 12:19p, 4/5/24
AG
Mr.Bond said:




I always smile while receiving blow job's
Your punctuation annoys and enrages me.
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EastCoastAgNc
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 12:25p, 4/5/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
Mr.Bond said:




I always smile while receiving blow job's
Your punctuation annoys and enrages me.
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to EastCoastAgNc • 12:42p, 4/5/24
AG
EastCoastAgNc said:
The Porkchop Express said:
Mr.Bond said:




I always smile while receiving blow job's
Your punctuation annoys and enrages me.
Every Christmas when we go out to look at the lights in the neighborhood there are about 30 signs that say "Season Greetings from the Johnson's" and so forth. I want to take lighter fluid and burn those MoFos down.
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agproducer
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 12:52p, 4/5/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
EastCoastAgNc said:
The Porkchop Express said:
Mr.Bond said:




I always smile while receiving blow job's
Your punctuation annoys and enrages me.
Every Christmas when we go out to look at the lights in the neighborhood there are about 30 signs that say "Season Greetings from the Johnson's" and so forth. I want to take lighter fluid and burn those MoFos down.
From the Johnson's what?
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spadilly
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1:13p, 4/5/24
S
What in the world???

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iamtheglove
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In reply to Farmer1906 • 1:13p, 4/5/24
Farmer1906 said:
How dare that national broadcasts keep pick our games!!

Haha I feel you tho. TK/Blum are elite. Perfect mix of homerism & fun without being too much of either.


Good news is that national broadcasters combined can only select 11 regular season games of any 1 team that are exclusive to national outlet. Some additional games can be "co-exist" games where both national and regional broadcaster carry the game in the team broadcast territory (usually TBS does this as they only have 1 national exclusive selection per team).
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n_touch
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In reply to spadilly • 1:18p, 4/5/24
spadilly said:
What in the world???



Lol pay us to advertise for us.
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Cynic
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1:44p, 4/5/24
At least their patch matches the jersey.

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Jackal99
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In reply to n_touch • 1:45p, 4/5/24
AG
n_touch said:
spadilly said:
What in the world???



Lol pay us to advertise for us.
The team store at MMP sells an Oxy patch, I assume for the same reason. As if.
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Heineken-Ashi
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In reply to Farmer1906 • 1:48p, 4/5/24
Farmer1906 said:
Farmer1906 said:
Pulled from the offseason thread:


Quote:
HOF Second Baseman WAR - 53.0 Bobby Doerr (15th), 55.1 Billy Herman (14th) (Currently 52.6) - it won't be in 2024 but next up is 59.9 Jackie Robinson, 60.4 Joe Gordon, & 60.9 Ryne Sandberg. Passing that group would be amazing.


Altuve (Currently 54.6) has now passed Doerr, will very likely pass Herman in the first half of this year, and have Robinson, Gordon, & Sandberg in his sights for 2025. It's hard to judge how a player with age, but there is no reason why Altuve won't crack the top 10 (62.7) for 2B in the HOF before it's all said and done. Biggio's 65.8 is probably the perfect target to aim for. That would be 11.2 WAR over the next 6 seasons.
For reference - since 2010 only 8 position players have topped 11 WAR from age 34 on.

Beltre - 24.0
Cruz - 23.6
Ortiz - Ortiz
Hunter - 14.7
Turner - 12.9
Molina - 12.9
Rodriguez - 12.6
Beltran - 12.3

A list full of guys with a ton of suspicion, accusations, and failed tests.
Small dogs age slower than big dogs.

Altuve is the equivelant of a 31 year old.
"H-A: In return for the flattery, can you reduce the size of your signature? It's the only part of your posts that don't add value. In its' place, just put "I'm an investing savant, and make no apologies for it", as oldarmy1 would do."
- I Bleed Maroon (distracted easily by signatures)
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wangus12
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In reply to Cynic • 1:55p, 4/5/24
AG
Cynic said:
At least their patch matches the jersey.

How dare you suggest Ranger red and blue don't belong on our jerseys

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Prosperdick
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In reply to Heineken-Ashi • 2:04p, 4/5/24
AG
Heineken-Ashi said:
Farmer1906 said:
Farmer1906 said:
Pulled from the offseason thread:


Quote:
HOF Second Baseman WAR - 53.0 Bobby Doerr (15th), 55.1 Billy Herman (14th) (Currently 52.6) - it won't be in 2024 but next up is 59.9 Jackie Robinson, 60.4 Joe Gordon, & 60.9 Ryne Sandberg. Passing that group would be amazing.


Altuve (Currently 54.6) has now passed Doerr, will very likely pass Herman in the first half of this year, and have Robinson, Gordon, & Sandberg in his sights for 2025. It's hard to judge how a player with age, but there is no reason why Altuve won't crack the top 10 (62.7) for 2B in the HOF before it's all said and done. Biggio's 65.8 is probably the perfect target to aim for. That would be 11.2 WAR over the next 6 seasons.
For reference - since 2010 only 8 position players have topped 11 WAR from age 34 on.

Beltre - 24.0
Cruz - 23.6
Ortiz - Ortiz
Hunter - 14.7
Turner - 12.9
Molina - 12.9
Rodriguez - 12.6
Beltran - 12.3

A list full of guys with a ton of suspicion, accusations, and failed tests.
Small dogs age slower than big dogs.

Altuve is the equivelant of a 31 year old.

So Abreu is 51…great.
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Ag_07
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2:19p, 4/5/24
AG
Fit check...Everyone ready for the weekend?

https://instagr.am/p/C5Zi4jRusnb
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tjack16
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In reply to Ag_07 • 2:21p, 4/5/24
AG
Oh my
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Mr.Bond
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 2:40p, 4/5/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
Mr.Bond said:




I always smile while receiving blow job's
Your punctuation annoys and enrages me.




That's auto correct for you. Take a drink and relax kemosabe
Im looking for Ray Finkle.... and a clean pair of shorts. Im just a very big Finkle fan. This is my Graceland, sir.


MAGA

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All I do is Nguyen
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2:53p, 4/5/24
I'd love to see Pena moved up and Abreu moved down for this series
No matter what!
Epstein didn't do, you know, the thing...
I'm the rare Astros/Cowboys/Spurs fan. We do exist
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EastCoastAgNc
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In reply to All I do is Nguyen • 2:59p, 4/5/24
AG
All I do is Nguyen said:
I'd love to see Pena moved up and Abreu moved down for this series

I'd love to not see Abreu at all
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jkag89
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In reply to spadilly • 3:01p, 4/5/24
spadilly said:
What in the world???

Yankee's fans should demand some sort of compensation for wearing an ad on their jerseys not the other way around.

I wonder how many will pay the $15 to have an "authentic" jersey?
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EastCoastAgNc
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3:11p, 4/5/24
AG
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EastCoastAgNc
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3:13p, 4/5/24
AG
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to EastCoastAgNc • 3:19p, 4/5/24
AG
EastCoastAgNc said:
SO is it the case that JP and Lady France can't do the math and have baby born in February or is JP a secret genius who knows he can largely miss the first 9-11 months of diaper changes by pulling this trick?










'
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Farmer1906
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In reply to EastCoastAgNc • 3:21p, 4/5/24
AG
Don't love that. I think Parker looked solid in his outings. His stuff+ for his cutter (39% usage), slider (17%), & curve (7%) are all well above average. And he's the only lefty in the pen that isn't the closer.
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Mathguy64
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3:23p, 4/5/24
AG
I'm guessing Parker and Seth shuttle back and forth all season. What's the max number of time? 4?
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EastCoastAgNc
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In reply to Farmer1906 • 3:25p, 4/5/24
AG
Farmer1906 said:
Don't love that. I think Parker looked solid in his outings. His stuff+ for his cutter (39% usage), slider (17%), & curve (7%) are all well above average. And he's the only lefty in the pen that isn't the closer.

It was either him or Seth Martinez. Those were the only two options
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Farmer1906
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In reply to EastCoastAgNc • 3:28p, 4/5/24
AG
EastCoastAgNc said:
Farmer1906 said:
Don't love that. I think Parker looked solid in his outings. His stuff+ for his cutter (39% usage), slider (17%), & curve (7%) are all well above average. And he's the only lefty in the pen that isn't the closer.

It was either him or Seth Martinez. Those were the only two options


Or you decide Miguel Diaz is a big enough upgrade to place Scott of waivers.

I like Seth but we have others guys who can get righties out. I would have sent him down over Parker.
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W
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In reply to spadilly • 3:45p, 4/5/24
AG
spadilly said:
What in the world???

I didn't know the insurance business was doing that well
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The Porkchop Express
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3:48p, 4/5/24
AG
Im going to punt Hunter Brown on my fantasy team bench so he'll thrown a 3-hitter for the good guys.
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EastCoastAgNc
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3:56p, 4/5/24
AG

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Mathguy64
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3:58p, 4/5/24
AG
Captain Lou drops another rung on the ladder.
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f1ghtintexasaggie
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In reply to EastCoastAgNc • 4:00p, 4/5/24
EastCoastAgNc said:



One of these things is not like the others...
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Ag_07
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4:04p, 4/5/24
AG
Good news - At this rate we can resign Bregs to a really nice cheap team friendly deal.

Bad news - We'll have a jugs pop-up machine in our 4 hole all season.
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redline248
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In reply to Farmer1906 • 4:05p, 4/5/24
AG
Farmer1906 said:
Big news nerds



How it impacts the Astros

I know this is a late reply, but I just got home and...

If you (Abreu) have a worse WAR than Tyler White...oof
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texasaggie2015
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4:06p, 4/5/24
AG


Man, this sucks for Justin. Baseball is tough.
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TRM
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4:10p, 4/5/24
AG
Flip Diaz and Bregman.
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