March 11, 2008, 12:15AM
ASTROS NOTES
Matsui absence likely to last four to five days

By JOSEPH DUARTE
Copyright 2008 Houston Chronicle

Astros second baseman Kaz Matsui is expected to miss four or five days after being diagnosed with a condition known as anal fissure.

Matsui, who returned to central Florida on Monday night, will go through individual workouts at the team facility but will not play until at least Friday. Doctors have prescribed a different medication to help alleviate the problem.

New player initiation gone too far?

Better practice those headfirst slides, Kaz.

Oy.

Generally respond well to anti-biotic/steroid creams.

Sheryl Crow sez... one square of tissue paper... therefore one wipe only.

It's all fun and games until somebody gets an anal fissure.

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That might become my new signature.

You might want to check out the causes for anal fissure before you make that your sig. People may start to wonder what kind of "fun and games" you're partaking in.

quote:

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Most anal fissures are caused by stretching of the anal mucosa beyond its capability. Various causes of this fissure include:

Straining to defecate, especially if the stool is hard and dry
Severe and chronic constipation
Severe and chronic diarrhea
Crohn's disease and Ulcerative colitis
Tight sphincter muscles
Anal intercourse

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Matsui is now having surgery on his fissure.

Will start the season on the disabled list now

I knew Pence would be hitting 1 or 2 in the order before Memorial Day

The first check minus for Wade

Is he the Japanese player that was in the gay porn movies?

http://www.zug.com/scrawl/analbob/analbob2.html

Dude, you can't give Wade a check minus for this. How was he supposed to know that Matsui would need surgery on his butthole? At least wait for him to play before you put a grade on it.

i cant help but laugh when i read his yahoo fantasy update

quote:

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Mar 17 Brian McTaggert, of the Houston Chronicle, reports Houston Astros 2B Kazuo Matsui (anus) is likely to begin the season on the disabled list.

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WAR EAGLE!
GIG 'EM!

last week I gave him a check plus for dealing a soon-to-be injured Troy Patton

it works both ways

quote:

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i cant help but laugh when i read his yahoo fantasy update

quote:Mar 17 Brian McTaggert, of the Houston Chronicle, reports Houston Astros 2B Kazuo Matsui (anus) is likely to begin the season on the disabled list.

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LMAO. I seriously lol'ed when I read this wareagle.

Could they have not said he had hemroids (sp?) or something? I mean, the whole "anal fissure" thing has be said over and over again with no explanation and I don't want to think about what may have caused this.

quote:

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It's all fun and games until somebody gets an anal fissure.

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i don't know about ed wade, but the astros' PR staff certainly deserves a check minus for this one.

couldn't they have said he was out for "personal reasons"?

Don't ask...don't tell in the stros club house