Question: How do you recognize a Texas Tech Student?

Answer: By the rejection letter they received from the Texas A&M Admissions Office.

12th Ag

gigem..nice one

Question: How do you recognize a Texas Tech fan?

Answer: They all have "tt" on their shirts.

12th Ag

What's the difference in a tceh tard and a bag of poo?







The bag.



[This message has been edited by Nate Aggie07 (edited 10/10/2007 9:33p).]

How many red rioters does it take to screw in a light bulb? All of them - one to screw it in and the rest of the student body to desperately attempt to establish a light bulb screwing rivalry with another Big XII school.

Lubbock, Texas: Where the wind blows just as hard as the school does!

WEST TEXAS...the wind does not blow..Lubbock SUX!

A t.u. longhorn, a Texas Aggie, and some other guy went hunting. The longhorn and Aggie had fun, but what's up with that other guy?

Q: Why was the Texas Tech football team late for their last game in Lincoln?
A: Every time their bus passed a sign that said 'Clean Restrooms', they did.

Q: Why did the Texas Tech Linebacker marry a cow?
A: He had to.

Texas Tech Computer Terminology:
Logon -- Makin the wood stove hotter
Download -- Gettin the farwood off the truck
Floppy disk -- What you get from carrying too much farwood
Hard Drive -- Gettin yer pickup home from the bar
Windows -- What to shut when it's cold outside
Chip -- Vittles to eat when yer sitting in front of the TV
Modem -- Whatcha done to the hayfields
Dot Matrix -- Bubba Matrix's wife
Lap top -- Where the kittycat sleeps
Software -- Those dang plastic forks and spoons
Mouse -- The reason you put out the D-Con
Main frame -- The part that holds up the barn roof

How many Texas Tech students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
All of them: One to screw it in and the rest of the student body to try desperately to establish a rivalry with the other Big XII schools in lightbulb screwing.

Three college guys were out partying one night. They'd all had a little too much to drink when a cop pulled them over. So they jumped in the bed of their truck and found three big potato sacks. Each of them crawled in one.

When the officer came up to the car he shined his flash light on the first bag and tapped it. The guy from t.u. said, "Meow." The officer said, "Wow, that's some cat."

When he got to the second bag with the kid from Texas A&M he tapped it and the kid answered, "Woof!" The officer said, "Wow, what a dog."

Then he got to the third bag with the kid from Texas Tech. He tapped it and the kid replied, "Potato."

NebrAggie, that's hilarious! The head janitor of my son's elementary school is tceh man.

Army doc beat you to the light bulb joke.

classic

quote:

---

I live on a piece of dirt so flat that we call the four degree incline at the intersection of 19th and Brownfield "the Big Hill". I get dirt in my eyes, hair, and teeth when I walk to class. I can out drink anyone from any other school because that is what we do best. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm I'm high. I can't buy beer within 50 miles of where I live - so I trek to the strip, which my friends and I all consider a true paradise on Earth. I don't go to many football games. I don't go to any organizational meetings. I don't really go to anything. Not even class. I like the fact that Will Rogers' horse's ass points to College Station. I fry cow balls. I know where Buddy Holly used to live. I am desperately trying to find a rival within our conference to make fun of. Our football players get caught by the NCAA. If I'm not drunk by 4:30pm, I'm high. But I'm usually drunk by 4:30pm. Or I'm high. And what the hell is that smell?
I am a Red Raider.

---

Next time you're in Lubbock, don't drive by tech with the windows rolled down...they might throw a diploma in your car.

Term paper from Texas Tech?

Serious:

Be careful when driving around the tceh campus I hear that if you drive around with your windows down they just start throwing bachelor degrees in your window.

A Texas Tech graduate, a t.u grad and a Texas Aggie were sitting in a bar in San Antonio. The view of the river was fantastic, the beer was ice cold and the food exceptional.

"But," said the guy from A&M, "I still prefer the beer joints back in College Station. There's one place where the owner goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy 4 beers, he will buy the 5th."

The Longhorn said "Well, at my local bar in Austin, the owner will buy your 3rd drink after you've bought 2."

"Hell, that's nothin'," the tcehtard responded. "Back in Lubbock there's this bar where the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink and keep them coming all night. Then when you've had enough to drink, they take you upstairs and see that you get laid. And it's all on the house."

The Aggie and the Longhorn immediately doubted the tcehtard's claims. "And this actually happened to you?" asked the tu grad.

No, not myself personally," admitted the tcehtard. "But it did happen to my sister."

What is this garbage? Melon rinds, panty hose, a term paper from Texas Tech?

[This message has been edited by gig them (edited 10/10/2007 9:53p).]

An Aggie went to the men’s store and asked the salesman for 7 pair of undershorts. The salesman handed him the shorts and asked, “May I ask, why you bought 7 pair?” The Aggie said, “Well, there’s Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… The Salesman interrupts, “Oh, I get it.” And thanks him.

Next, a tcehtard comes in to the men’s store and asked the salesman for 12 pair of undershorts. The salesman handed him the shorts and asked, “May I ask, why you bought 12 pair?” The tard said, “Well, there’s January, February, March……

One day in an elementary school in Lubbock, TX, a teacher asks her class if the Texas Tech Red Raiders are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Texas Aggies "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is an Aggie, my mom is an Aggie, I guess that makes me an Aggie"

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Well, I guess it would make me a Red Raider fan."

Q: Why do TTU fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the TTU campus?

A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the TTU library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: How do you get a tceh grad off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: What does the average TTU student get on his SAT?

A: Slobber

Q: What do you get when you cross a TTU fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.