does anyone have the longhorn jokes posted a while back. They involved all of the arrests this year.

thanks

I'm sure which ones you saw, I got a few yesterday in an e-mail:

What do you call a drug ring in Austin?

A huddle.


Four horns are in a car. A RB, a DB, a lineman, and a linebacker. Who is driving?

A cop.


There were more.

..and live in jail

What do you call a drug ring in Austin? A huddle.

The Longhorns have adopted a new "honor system." Yes, your honor. No, your honor.

Four UT football players are riding in a car, who's driving? The police.

Mack Brown should not have hired a new defensive coordinator this offseason. He should have hired a defense attorney.

tu dominates in a sport with guys wearing speedos!
6:48 and a Benjamin

anyone got links to the new fran jokes?

There are no Fran jokes...only the sad reality.

^
I've got a link to 12-7

if only Mack Brown subscribed to Fran's newsletters maybe it wouldn't have been 12-7

Not sure..

really wasn't any surprises in the gameplan. Maybe.

Book 'Em horns

An Aggie and a Longhorn are driving down a deserted stretch of I-35 late one night. As they are about to pass each other, a deer jumps out into the road. Both drivers try to swerve out of the way and end up hitting each other. They get out and are much relieved to find that no one was hurt.

"You know, its a miracle we both survived." Said the Longhorn

"Yeah, it must be a sign from God that he wanted us to live." said the Aggie

"Well we may be here a while, I think I have a spare blanket in my trunk." said the Longhorn

A few minutes later, the Longhorn comes back

"Well I didn’t have a blanket, but I did find a full bottle of Jack Daniels, I think this is a sign that God wants us to be friends, even if you did go to that little cow college and weren't smart enough to get into The University."

The Aggie just shook his head and said

"You know I think your right, why don’t you have the first drink to a new lease on life."

So the Longhorn takes a gigantic swig of Jack and downs 3/4 of the bottle in a few seconds.

"Ok, now its your turn" he said

The Aggie just smiled and said

"No thanks, I'll just wait until the cop gets here."


[This message has been edited by Aglax2005 (edited 9/28/2007 1:44p).]

http://www.amazon.com/Book-Horns-X-Large-Burnt-Orange/dp/B000W6ECII/ref=sr_1_1/104-8356828-5810317?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1190430205&sr=8-1&gclid=CPPf49b25o4CFQZCZwodrEFXNw

1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin? A huddle.

2. There are four UT Longhorns in a car; who's driving? The police.

3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new Honor System: "Yes, your Honor; No, your Honor."

4. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Joe Jamail.

5. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice? Studying their Miranda Rights.

6. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit? "Will the defendant please rise?"

7. If you see a Longhorn football player on a bike, why do you swerve to avoid hitting him? It might be your bike!

8. The Longhorns employ extra scouts. The extra scouts job is to look out for cops, not to scout high school kids.

9. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new prison in Austin, Texas, in order to allow Longhorns to walk to school.

10. What do you call it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation? Parole.

11. Why couldn't the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football field? It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.

12. Obviously the Longhorn football program and boosters are not paying their players; they have to resort to robbing people.

13. BOOK 'EM, HORNS!

What is the University of Texas' new recruiting slogan?

The University of Texas. A place where you can crack a different kind of lineup.

*************************************************

An Aggie, a Longhorn and a Red Raider are lost and wandering in the desert. They come across a magic lamp and the genie will grant them one wish each.

The Longhorn wishes for canteen of water that is always full so everyone can drink.

The Red Raider wishes for a bag full of sandwiches that is always full so everyone can eat.

The Aggie thinks for a bit and then wishes for a car door.

Perplexed, the Longhorn and Red Raider asked, "Why a car door?"

The Aggie replied, "So when we get hot I can roll down the window!"


[This message has been edited by zafzo (edited 9/28/2007 3:20p).]