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Although I'm extremely happy that my daughter turns one today, I need a fellow aggie doctor to gelp me fake my death so I can watch the game. If anything, i need some pointers as to how I can manage to watch the game while throwing her party. BTFO ucla

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Here's some pointers for starters:
1. Don't plan a party on a game day.
2. If #1 fails at least man up enough to not have it overlap the game.
3. If #1 and #2 fail, don't post it on TexAgs

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Sounds like a wife was in charge of scheduling!

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Lmao

I'm almost a doctor. I can help you fake it. But being almost a doctor means the faking might not stay faked.

The OP had failed as a man.

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Put the game on and tell everyone to shut the hell up!

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As Jack Dundee said to Reno Hightower, "We could have it all!"

Take her to the game. There is an infant section I'm told.

Scene control, get some

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I'm almost a doctor. I can help you fake it. But being almost a doctor means the faking might not stay faked.

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I've been sitting in the crapper for 30 mins now hoping the old lady doesn't know where i am. What do I do now? I just need to make people I'm dead so the can leave the house and enjoy the game all by my lonesome. Btw, we're Mexican so birthday parties usually last until 2 or 3 in the morning and there's more alcohol here than treats for the kids

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I'm almost a doctor. I can help you fake it. But being almost a doctor means the faking might not stay faked.

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I've been sitting in the crapper for 30 mins now hoping the old lady doesn't know where i am. What do I do now? I just need to make people I'm dead so the can leave the house and enjoy the game all by my lonesome. Btw, we're Mexican so birthday parties usually last until 2 or 3 in the morning and there's more alcohol here than treats for the kids

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Call immigration officials. That should run them off.

Just turn on the TV and have it on in the background you psy. All the dads will thank you. Do you actually think they want to be at your house, celebrating your daughter's 1st birthday, instead of watching a good football game (especially as it's the first Saturday of the CFB season)?

all of the dads at the party hate you.

What a wuss. The kid is 1. Do you think it would matter if you celebrated on Sunday? When the only game is at night.

Millennials have no balls.

I think you need to throw a first birthday party every Saturday this fall