quote:

---

I’ve just butt-chugged maroon Kool Aid while listening to the War Hymn, let’s do this. The Aggies storm the field in their Icy White uniforms, completing the Adidas product line clause in their licensing agreement. Coach Sumlin walks to midfield to interrupt the coin toss and tells the ref, "It doesn’t matter, give ‘em the damn ball." and calmly walks back to the sideline. Kingsbury has lit himself on fire.

---

quote:

---

Manziel starts at safety just to screw with Saban. Saban laughs, consults Ouija board for the next offensive set. Spencer Nealy eats a bag of sugar, washes it down with a case of 5-Hour Energy and is suddenly able to Ha-Do-Ken. This causes problems for the Alabama o-line as they didn’t see "shoots fireballs from hands" in the scouting report.

---

quote:

---

◄ ► ◄ ► A B [Select]

---

quote:

---

48 And it came to pass, when the Sabantine arose, and came, and drew nigh to meet Sumlin, that Sumlin hastened, and ran toward the army to meet the Sabantine.

49 And Sumlin put his hand in his bag, and took thence a quarterback, and slang it, and smote the Sabantine in his forehead, that the quarterback sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the turf.

50 So Sumlin prevailed over the Sabantine with a King and with a Manziel, and smote the Sabantine, and slew him; but there was no Heisman in the hand of Sumlin.

51 Therefore Sumlin ran, and stood upon the Sabantine, and took his Heisman, and drew it out of the sheath thereof, and slew him, and cut off his head therewith. And when the media saw their champion was dead, they fled.

---

quote:

---

Kevin Sumlin's Ass, Sore Spot: Sensitive. Misunderstood. It’s not a playground, Kliff Kingsbury, it’s a temple. You must honor it before you explore it. Rights are earned; not given.

---

quote:

---

don't usually read them all the way thru

---