This is probably not the right place for this, but there isn't an "adulting" board for life's more serious conundrums.
My MIL is unable to care for herself. She is wheelchair-bound and has Lewy body dementia. My FIL is her sole caregiver, except when we visit or my BIL visits. They are both in their mid-70s.
We have reached the point where we have to consider making decisions for them against their will. Earlier this week my FIL had to be transported via EMS to the hospital for pneumonia and fluid buildup around his heart. Us kids had to stop everything and step in to care for her while he was in the hospital for 2.5 days. It clearly demonstrated how quickly the wheels can fall off the bus if something happens to my FIL.
The solution us kids agree on is the best option for getting them both the care and assistance they need, when they need it, is to move them into an assisted living facility and sell their house to pay for it. The proceeds from the sale would pay for a facility for more years than they have left.
They are absolutely opposed to this and their response was a very aggressive, "We'll let the place fall down around us and die here before we sell it."
Their current living conditions are not sustainable and not acceptable for us to hire a live-in caregiver. We've put a lot of money into the house and tried to do what we can to improve their overall quality of life, but my FIL is the brick wall we are up against.
(Side note: My husband and BIL have individual power of attorney for my MIL and joint power of attorney for my FIL)
Getting to the point - If the only solution is to involuntarily relocate them for their own safety, we're at a loss for how to approach that situation. We are hopeful that if we can present a clear and thorough plan for their future that leaves nothing left to question that we can sell them on it, but we're admittedly pessimistic about that.
Any advice from folks who have been through this type of situation or can help us navigate it would be greatly appreciated.
TIA
My MIL is unable to care for herself. She is wheelchair-bound and has Lewy body dementia. My FIL is her sole caregiver, except when we visit or my BIL visits. They are both in their mid-70s.
We have reached the point where we have to consider making decisions for them against their will. Earlier this week my FIL had to be transported via EMS to the hospital for pneumonia and fluid buildup around his heart. Us kids had to stop everything and step in to care for her while he was in the hospital for 2.5 days. It clearly demonstrated how quickly the wheels can fall off the bus if something happens to my FIL.
The solution us kids agree on is the best option for getting them both the care and assistance they need, when they need it, is to move them into an assisted living facility and sell their house to pay for it. The proceeds from the sale would pay for a facility for more years than they have left.
They are absolutely opposed to this and their response was a very aggressive, "We'll let the place fall down around us and die here before we sell it."
Their current living conditions are not sustainable and not acceptable for us to hire a live-in caregiver. We've put a lot of money into the house and tried to do what we can to improve their overall quality of life, but my FIL is the brick wall we are up against.
(Side note: My husband and BIL have individual power of attorney for my MIL and joint power of attorney for my FIL)
Getting to the point - If the only solution is to involuntarily relocate them for their own safety, we're at a loss for how to approach that situation. We are hopeful that if we can present a clear and thorough plan for their future that leaves nothing left to question that we can sell them on it, but we're admittedly pessimistic about that.
Any advice from folks who have been through this type of situation or can help us navigate it would be greatly appreciated.
TIA