Warning, I know TLDR, but help is appreciated if you do read.

A little background. We are a family of 5 (kids are 15-22) and starting this fall, only 2 of 3 will live at home as one goes off to A&M. Others are working on permits currently. (Oldest is special needs.) We currently have 2 working vehicles - pure commuter car (2018 standard Civic) and an Odyssey (2013 with 170K miles). We have put about 13-14K into the Odyssey over the last 5-6 years and it now needs another 4-5K+ in work so we've decided it's time to pull the plug. It just seems never ending. We are probably keeping it until it stops working completely to use for kids to learn to drive on, but that's it - no highway driving at all anymore. We are in Houston.

So, we've been looking for a new car for about a month and are having trouble deciding. We've had 2 Odysseys back to back since 2003 and I'm ready for something else so we've been looking at SUVs. We need to keep the budget lower since we have a ton of new expenses this year besides this car payment. I'm a researcher by nature and there's just so much info out there - so much of it about recalls/ reliability issues. We tend to buy new and keep them until they die / cost too much to maintain and that's been our plan, but I'm scared to pick wrong now. I miss the day that I could just go buy a new Honda and know that it will be reliable. Also, we're struggling with how much car do we really need anymore - can we down grade to a smaller size that's more fuel efficient and a smaller payment or do we still need the room?

Questions
1. If you were a family of 5 with older kids, would you consider downgrading to a 2 row SUV or would you still feel like you still need something bigger? We are rarely all in the car together except for occassional days trips or a couple of quick weekend trip/year somewhere 3-4 hours away at the most.

2. If we went 2 row SUV, is a CRV still a good pick? Reading so much bad about Honda lately. We tried a CRV and could fit 3 across the back fine, but wouldn't want to do that on long trips/ too often. Most other similar SUVs are too small/ tight. (2 Boys are 6'+) Seriously considering the hybrid version, but we've never had one before. Trying to avoid turbos. Thoughts or other suggestions? If two row, would like to keep under 37K - don't need all the fancy stuff.

3. We still are considering a 3 row SUV for the room, but need to top out at 45K new. Looked at the Pilot and like it, but so much conflicting info about reliability. Do you still think Honda is reliable? What other 3 row SUVs would you look at that would last for many years? We considered Hyundai and Kia, but the large ones are both first run of this generation and we are avoiding that. Also, leery of turbos. Husband keeps bringing up the Kia Carnival - another minivan. ugh.Thoughts? Would you trust the long term reliabilty of any of these?

4. Have considered recently used and are looking, but not sure how much of a deal it is when you factor in higher financing, depleted / no warranty included, still high prices, etc...

Thanks for reading and I'd appreciate your thoughts. Hoping to do this in next few days. Thanks so much!

edited for clarity

Toyota/Lexus. My wife has had 2 Highlanders (don't get one of the new ones with the turbo) - she has a '21, and both have been bulletproof. The Highlander has a ton of room in the second row - and a useless 3rd row if you ever need it.

I also have a 6 cylinder Highlander. It has an impressive amount of cargo space.

check out the grand highlander

probably can get a base for around 45/47

how many miles do you drive a year ?

yes it is turbo but 6 ft people fit in the third row comfortable if needed

gas mileage is 21-23 city and 25-28 on highway

if the turbo scares you buy an extended warranty .

If you had 2 minivans previously you will miss the practicality when it's gone. +1 to the sienna.

Hi, everyone! Thanks for the replies and even the Swagger Wagon gif - lol.

To answer a few questions, we probably drive 15K/ year on it. It's our main family car for shuttling kids to all activities and for any whole family outings (although rarer these days with everyone's schedules).

We had considered Toyotas briefly, but they seem just out of our price range and not very available. The lot the day we stopped by was almost void of Highlanders. (Most stock listed online was still in production/ at factory.) I also didn't find many at all at the used car places that I've checked so far. Additionally we read they were more cramped than their Honda counterparts. I will look again at Toyota to see though, but 45-47K is really stretching our upper limit with our other expenses coming up.

So, I think you guys have convinced me to probably skip Kia/ Hyundai. They were never high on our lists, but we have several people keep recommeding them to us - especially the Hyundai Santa Fe. Of course, that's a turbo and my husband isn't keen on them, but hasn't completely ruled turbos out as they are everywhere.

Thoughts on the 2 Hondas -CRV hybrid or Pilot Sport? We have been given out the door prices of 37K on CRV and 43.7K on Pilot. Of course, the CRV has double the mpg of the Pilot so there's that savings to consider too. Never owned a hybrid either. Any recent/ current generation Pilot / CRV owners out there?

Off to look into some of your other comments to see what might even be possible to find. We really need to do something in the next few days as we have some major driving needs coming up and we've been on life support for about a month already. Neither car has a properly working a/c right now either so it's been brutal. Thankfully we think the Civic's recent issues are caused by a known defect that an issued extension on the factory warranty should hopefully cover. Otherwise the Civic has been great and we hope it lasts.

Any other ideas/ new replies, please share. We really apprecaite your help/ suggestions.

I'm a firm believer in buying used and doing my own maintenance. We have 4 kids (oldest is 9) and 3 vehicles so we have a backup. It relieves a lot of stress to know when one goes down I don't have to rush to fix it or pay a shop a stupid amount of money to fix it. Can do my research on the repair, buy the parts online, and fix it on my time. With two kids at home driving I would strongly consider a Lexus/Toyota SUV with 150,000 miles over anything new these days. Could pick up 2 of them for $35K easy.

For reference, my fleet is "new to me" in the past 18 months. All in I paid $40K for these 3 vehicles. Sold our minivan, jeep, and older tundra for $27K and have a fleet that I love and serves our family perfectly.

2003 Excursion 220,000 miles
2015 F250 198,000 miles
2020 Tundra 297,000 miles

It's a 3 row but my MIL bought the top trim Hyundai palisade hybrid to replace a '25 Lincoln Aviator and loves it.

Pick your preference on appearances between the Hyundai and Kia versions.

Thanks for the further advice. I'm taking all your advice and really looking at older cars now as well.. I'm looking at Toyotas and Lexus, but have noticed a few others as I look.

Thoughts on older AcuraSUVs? I know back in the day they were highly regarded, but not sure now. I'm looking at 10+ year old ones that look good for their age and have been well maintained (carfax) with low -moderate mileage.(around 9-10K miles/year)

Also, thoughts on Subaru/ Mazda SUVs? Certain years? I've seen them rated high on several car sites/ lists so I thought I'd ask.

Also, how accurate is Kelly Blue Book for older cars these days? (I haven't used them since the 90s. ) I've noticed the listed KBB value for each car I've looked up is 4-5K less than the asking price I'm finding. KBB says for typical mileage and wear/tear. The mileage on the cars I'm looking up are lower than normal miles (approx 95-110K on 11-13 year old cars) so not sure how much that affects the price.

Thanks again.

AW96 said:

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Thoughts on the 2 Hondas -CRV hybrid or Pilot Sport? We have been given out the door prices of 37K on CRV and 43.7K on Pilot. Of course, the CRV has double the mpg of the Pilot so there's that savings to consider too. Never owned a hybrid either. Any recent/ current generation Pilot / CRV owners out there?

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We recently got a '25 Pilot EXL used with 15K miles on it, after trading in our '17 Odyssey EXL with 145K miles. We have an 11-year-old and a 9-year-old, so smaller kids than you. The vehicle seems solid, and we like the layout of the interface with radio/nav/Apple Car Play. We have only had it about a month, but no complaints so far. It's comfortable, but not as plush as the Odyssey EXL. It's not as wide as the Odyssey but has plenty of cargo space if you don't need to the 3rd row. Also has plenty of head room for me who is 6'1". We really like the more modern amenities of the car compared with the '17 Odyssey like more charging ports, wireless phone charger, Apple Car Play. We hate the AutoStop that kills a couple cylinders at red lights--we're getting used to it, but it's a pain. We do miss the camera on the right side of the car to make right turns/lane changes. On a recent road trip to Fredericksburg, we got about 28 mpg. We also like that it sits a little higher off the ground than the Odyssey--maybe something to think about if your special needs son/daughter has mobility issues.

AW96 said:

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Questions
1. If you were a family of 5 with older kids, would you consider downgrading to a 2 row SUV or would you still feel like you still need something bigger? We are rarely all in the car together except for occassional days trips or a couple of quick weekend trip/year somewhere 3-4 hours away at the most.

2. If we went 2 row SUV, is a CRV still a good pick? Reading so much bad about Honda lately. We tried a CRV and could fit 3 across the back fine, but wouldn't want to do that on long trips/ too often. Most other similar SUVs are too small/ tight. (2 Boys are 6'+) Seriously considering the hybrid version, but we've never had one before. Trying to avoid turbos. Thoughts or other suggestions? If two row, would like to keep under 37K - don't need all the fancy stuff.

3. We still are considering a 3 row SUV for the room, but need to top out at 45K new. Looked at the Pilot and like it, but so much conflicting info about reliability. Do you still think Honda is reliable? What other 3 row SUVs would you look at that would last for many years? We considered Hyundai and Kia, but the large ones are both first run of this generation and we are avoiding that. Also, leery of turbos. Husband keeps bringing up the Kia Carnival - another minivan. ugh.Thoughts? Would you trust the long term reliability of any of these?

4. Have considered recently used and are looking, but not sure how much of a deal it is when you factor in higher financing, depleted / no warranty included, still high prices, etc...

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1. If you're a family of 5, and replacing an Odyssey, I don't think going with a compact SUV is the best way to go. At an absolute minimum I'd go with a 2 row midsize SUV.

2. If considering a 2 row SUV that small a CRV or RAV4 are still probably the best way to go. If you can swing a little more money I'd look at the Honda Pilot but it's going to be closer to $45k. A friend of ours has a Karnival and she loves it.

3. As far as 3 row SUVs go I'd still consider the Pilot and Grand Highlander, the Grand Highlander can be had with a hybrid system that gets between 30-40 MPG. Some family friends have one and they love it, it's the primary transportation for their family of 5.

4. Buying used is all about what you can find out there that's reliable for a reasonable price so you'd need to keep your eyes open for anything you decide fits the bill.

If you have a 22yr old in college, seem like you should be planning for a vehicle for 4 with the occasional 5th.

I drive a '17 Pilot and my sister a '23 Pilot. My advice is you pretty much want to avoid the '16-'20 Honda V6's. There's an issue with the VCM that deactivates cylinders and the transmission. I just had my transmission repaired under an extended warrant (manufacturer). There's also an NTSB investigation on camshat/bearings that can cause it to grenade and poof, you're engine is getting replaced on your dime. There's no formal recall, but if you had your choice just avoid these years.

I'm about to swap out my vehicle which blows as it only has 75k miles on it currently. I also want to avoid the future mandates for driver nanny tech in '27 or later. Honda is one of the very few that makes a NA V6 so I'll be looking at another Pilot or maybe a Ridgeline.

If a turbo 4 banger doesn't bother you, then you have a lot more options.

We're in a similar situation with two gone and one still at home. We upgraded from a 2019 Odyssey. We went with a 2027 Kia Telluride which is plenty for what we need and will accommodate up to seven on those occasions we have visitors and kids come home. While a 2027 may be out of your budget, I'd look at the 2023-2025s and see if that doesn't fit the bill. You can probably find one in that vintage that may work. At least it's one to consider.

Can't speak to the reliability of the Kia, but we liked how it looks and drives. We went with the Hybrid engine. It has a lot of technology, but the jury is still out on whether it's a reliable car. My parents have a Grand Highlander limited and they were more impressed with our Kia than they are with their Toyota. Who knows, but it has a robust warranty so if we have any issues at all, we'll get Kia to fix them.

coolerguy12 said:

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I'm a firm believer in buying used and doing my own maintenance. We have 4 kids (oldest is 9) and 3 vehicles so we have a backup. It relieves a lot of stress to know when one goes down I don't have to rush to fix it or pay a shop a stupid amount of money to fix it. Can do my research on the repair, buy the parts online, and fix it on my time. With two kids at home driving I would strongly consider a Lexus/Toyota SUV with 150,000 miles over anything new these days. Could pick up 2 of them for $35K easy.

For reference, my fleet is "new to me" in the past 18 months. All in I paid $40K for these 3 vehicles. Sold our minivan, jeep, and older tundra for $27K and have a fleet that I love and serves our family perfectly.

2003 Excursion 220,000 miles
2015 F250 198,000 miles
2020 Tundra 297,000 miles

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Sorry for the derail but this is wild. My situation is very similar.

I have made the claim that if you want to drive a vehicle for 20 years, you are better off buying a 20-year-old vehicle and driving it until it is 40 years old than you are buying new. No idea if that's going to prove accurate or not but I have put my money where my mouth is.

In the past 18 months I have bought a 2004 Excursion (immediately got it bullet proofed) and a 2000 F250. I sold my late model half tons- 2010 Ram and 2018 F150. My wife's SUV is a 2018 but it is under an extended warranty, so I left that alone.

What bad things about Honda have you heard?

My wife has had a 2018 CRV and now a 2022 CRV and both have been rock solid.

The Honda Pilot is a good sized 3-row SUV and a larger person can be comfortable in the back for a short 2-3 hr trips.

The Toyota Highlander is very small in the back. The new Grand Highlander is larger, but those are newer and might be out of your budget.

EDIT TO ADD: Just like other have stated, look for something that is 1-2 years old and if it's at a dealer, with a Certified Pre-Owned warranty (or whatever the manufacturer calls it). You'll save the 15% depreciation when you drive the new one off the lot.

The only advice I have is that if budget is an important constraint, don't buy new. You should be looking at used 3-4+ year old vehicles with bulletproof engine/transmission drivetrains.

We've had a few gen 1 Honda Pilots. My FiL has an older Acura MDX with 188k+ miles, and it's still going strong. That's where I'd start if I was in your shoes.

I keep eyeing the Mazdas. They are supposedly fairly enjoyable to drive and the CX has a pretty reputable AWD power train.

Can we be friends?

The excursion might be the greatest vehicle ever made. I love it so much. Except for the times that I hate it. Mine is deleted but not bulletproofed. I monitor engine vitals with a blue tooth scan gauge and tablet and my oil and coolant are always within 10 degrees of each other. Usually 5-8.

MouthBQ98 said:

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I keep eyeing the Mazdas. They are supposedly fairly enjoyable to drive and the CX has a pretty reputable AWD power train.

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My wife had a Mazda CX seven for a while, and had no issues with it up to 160,000 miles. No annoying thing was changing the headlight bulbs; you had to be a contortionist to be able to change them out. Other than that, fairly zippy and no major issues.