You might be a mexican if.....

19,627 Views | 143 Replies | Last: 1 mo ago by Owlagdad
RGV AG
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Maryland:

I hear you on that, I doubt I could survive up there either (way too cold). But, you are in a nice part of the country, I always liked Maryland seafood. But, they make a very poor "Campechana" and or "Vuelve a la Vida".

I grew up in Mexico as my Dad and all of his family is from Mexico, about 3 generations or so, but orginally they were British. But, I am as white as white can be, but I am much more Mexican in terms of my tastes, preferences and habits than I am anglo (save for Copenhagen, and now you can get that in Mexico). My mom is from Alice (met my dad as an exchange student in Mexico City and the rest is history) so even though she is anglo she has got quite a bit of South Texas in her.

When I moved to the Valley I about freaked people out as I was so white and spoke spanish. So people get freaked out about South Texas due to the lack of white people. Man, when I moved up here I freaked out as I had never seen so many so often in my life, LOL. Shows you how peoples perspectives are different.

My first day of school in the Valley I got into three fights, with three different people. It just blew them away that I was white and could speak spanish and such. After that first day I never had another fight in school for the rest of the time I was in the valley.

Anyway, I have either lived in or worked in Mexico for 31 of my 37 years, so I feel pretty qualified about all of this and as I mentioned I am a card carrying one none the less. My wife is Hispanic (Mexican America) but she was raised in North Carolina so she really is just a slightly olive colored gringa. Her family is from down here, but she is just shocked by it all down here. Her spanish shocks me, she actually invents words that she tries to put into the Spanish language.

She is pregnant and I am beging her to have the baby in Mexico so he or she can have dual citizenship like I do. I actually think that we might divorce before that happens, but I am still holding out hope.

South Texas is a real neat place, but only on one condition and that condition is that you have a little green. Otherwise it can suck pretty bad.


RGV AG
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quote:
you tell someone you went to Texas A&M and they respond by asking "Que, las Havalinas?"


ROTFLMAO, that is classic as I have heard that before myself.

One correction though, it should read

"Que, Los Jabalines" in correct spanish, But, ever so right for the Valley.
PJYoung
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ou might be a mexican if.....

your tio cuco still wears zapatos de charol.

You might be Mexican if you slap your kids in Walmart everytime they ask for something and tell them to wait till satuday at "La Pulga"

If you call fruit of the looms, chones, you might be a mexican.

If you're afraid of the dark because of something called CuCuy - you might be Mexican.

If carpet adorns the dash of your pickup and you like the fringed look, you might be a mexican.

If you have ever referred to bandaids as "curitas", you might be a mexican.

If you prefer steel ornaments on the toe and heel of your boots, and your boats are pointed at the toe, then you are most definitely a real mexican.

If the color of your boots matches the color of your belt, or they are made out of the same fake alligator skin in a coral color, you might be a mexican.

If boxing ranks as one of your top sports, you might be a mexican

If most of your immediate family lives with a few blocks radius of your house, you might be a mexican.

If you prefer your Lay's potato chips with tabasco sauce and limon, you might be a mexican.

If you've ever lumped a huge spoonful of wasabi onto your chinese food thinking it's guacamole....

If you recycle bacon grease for use in other recipes, you might be a mexican.

If you refer to snow cones as raspas, you might be a mexican.

If your favorite brand of cookies is not Nabisco but instead Gamesa, then your are most definetely a mexican.

If your Grandma has candles with pictures of saints, or veladoras lit around the house, and she has crosses made out of palm leaves above every door in the house, and she recycles jam jars, Don Marias Mole jars, or other glass containers to use glasses....then you might just be a mexican.

If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas ....Mexican status!

If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business, Yes, you're a Mexican.

If you pronounce words beginning with the letter "S" by putting an "E" in front of it, (estop instead of stop), big time Mexican.

If you call a chair, a sher, you got it.... Mexican.

If you have ever hurt yourself and your mamacita rubbed the area while chanting, "Sana, Sana, Colita de rana....." You're Mexican, big time!!!

If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere on your car, truck, or tattooed on your back! . Yes, you ARE a Mexican (proud one too).

If you refer to your wife as your ruca, your hina, your wifa, your old lady, or your vieja, guess what? Not only are you a Mexican, you're a cholo.

If you have ever been pinched in church and been told "pobrecito de ti si lloras" or "Vas a ver orita que salgamos." Yes, you're definitely a Mexican.

If you grew up being called "chamaca or chamaco" ...Mexican.

If you grew up scared of La Llorona, or fear the dark because of El CuCuy! Yes! Mexican!

If you use manteca instead of vegetable oil and can't figure out why your rear-end is getting bigger......You might be a Mexican.

If you have some Tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to a birthday party at "el parque". You are a Mexican.

If you're congested and your mamasita rubbed "Bicks". You're Mexican.

If weddings in your family can last for several days, and you go through several "conjuntos", then your are a mexican.

If you see no problem taking your baby out in public in nothing but his/her diapers, you might be a mexican.

you bring 15 kids under the age of 10 to a birthday party

And you take a plate home from that B-day party then your are a mexican.

If the boys/girls dad or tio breaks out with the quarters when they break the piñata, then you know you are a mexican party, and you could safely bet that the "pastel" is a pastel de tres leches, before you even see it.

If you refer to that birthday party as a "pachanga", and all the men are still drinking from the keg long after the party is over, then you know them mexican is keep it real.

If your vehicle has two or more shades of paint or the hood is a different color than the rest of the vehicle, and the vehicle is barely driveable but it has a state of the art stereo system in it, then your are a true blue mexican.

If you refer to frankfurters as "winnies", then you might be a mexican.

If the pharse, "this gentlemen is completely inebriated" is totally foreign and means nothing to you; however, the phrase "Ay este vato anda bien pedo, wacha!", makes complete sense to you, then not only are you a mexican, but you are a mexican that didn't pay attention to the "ticher" during english class.

If you have more than one battery in your car, and it is not under the hood, but in the trunk, and your car has an airbrushed painting of the Virgen de Guadalupe or Selena, then not only are you a mexican, but you are straight up thug mexican.

If you have no problem eating beans for breakfast, and think it strange when people look at you funny for eating beans at breakfast then you most probably are a mexican.

If you believe that eggs have medicinal properties, and you have at least one tia, that knows the ritual for rubbing the egg all over your body, and then cracking it in a jar of water to place under your bed, as a method to ward of a fever, then you might be a mexican.

You might be Mexican if when the cops show up to quiet down your hold over from the party drunk uncles, it turns out you are 4th cousins twice removed from the cop and he agrees to stop by after his shift.

You might be Mexican if you drive to the beach with a life size inflated Barney tied to your roof and a huge BBQ pit in your open and tied trunk.

You might be Mexican if any midnight mass you attend on Christmas eve ends with a rousing rendition of of the ever popular hymm "Feliz Navidad"

You might be Mexican your horrified at the thought of corn anywhere but in a cup (with mayo, butter, chile and lime of course)

You might be Mexican if you know that "Tio Lucas" is not your relative.

If you refer to your bike as "mi yonca, or jonca", you might be a mexican.

Also, if the spokes on your "yonca's" rims are decorated with colorful bead, you might be a mexican.

If you wear your shirts unbuttoned half way to show your chest hairs and part of your beer belly, man there is zero doubt you are a mexican. Let's not forget the huge gold necklace with the crucifix on an anchor, to accesorize and complete the "mexican look".

If you eat your mangos, on a stick, with chile and limon, you might be a mexican.

If a miniature saddle is on the rear view mirror of your pickup, you might be a mexican.

If your grandma purchased Fry-rite shortening in a 5 gallon container, so you could have a steady supply of tortillas de harina, then you not only are a mexican, but you are a lucky mexican, and will probably have problems with your arteries later in life.

If there is salsa verde and salsa roja on the table at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and there are tamales to accompany the turkey, and all the men sit down to eat before the women, then you are at a mexican Thanksgiving.

And your tio Pacho is drunk and screaming at the TV while the cowboys are playing, you might be a mexican.

If you have ever used aluminum foil to cover the windows in your house, you might be a mexican.

If the word "migra" puts the fear of God in you, then you are an illegal mexican, but if the same word cause you to instictively reach for your wallet.....then you are a legal mexican.

If the name of you and your wife are on the back windshield of your pickup, you might be a mexican.

If you have ever been to a bachelor party that involved a cock fight, then rest assured that that was mexican bachelor.

If you consider stacy adams shoes, kacki "Dickey" pants, and a white hanes muscle shirt adequate attire, then you are a straight up cholo mexican.

You might be Mexican if you equate "white wings" to tortillas instead of doves.

You might be Mexican if the American car manufacturers all have a model represented in your front yard.

If you like the wrangler polyester pant with boots look, then you are a middle aged mexican.

If you refer to being unfaithful, as "tengo un pegue!", you might be a mexican.

You might be Mexican if "La Movida" does not mean the move.

You might be Mexican if the word "sancho" raises your eye brows.

You might be Mexican if the phrase "Ando bien Suelto" does not mean I am loose.

You might be Mexican if you slap your kids in Walmart everytime they ask for something and tell them to wait till satuday at "La Pulga"

You're really Mexican if you go to "La Pulga" and stay for the dance later that night.

You're a really tough Mexican if you survive the "La Pulga" dance without being arrested, stabbed or beaten.

y eres mas chingon if you survived the pulga dance when you ran into your movida while dancing with your hina.

If you have ever thrown some mollejas on the parrilla, and roasted some jalapenos on the parilla, then you are my kind of mexican.

If your tia's are complaining about the way your other tia organized the wedding, and criticizing her behind her back, yet they pack up the table ornament and pack plates to go, they are very likely mexicans.

If your equivalent to Dunkin Donuts is Pan Dulce at the local panaderia, then you are a mexican.

If you use the word "primo" to mean your cousin and as a way of greeting people, then you might be a mexican.

If your Sunday brunch consists of barbacoa or cabrito you're definitely mexican
huisache
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Would whichever of you pendejos borrowed my jumper cables please return them?
Frank the Tank
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pa que los quieres, buey.

si ni carro tienes, baboso.
RGV AG
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What's the slowest thing in the world?

A: A Mexican funeral with only two pairs of jumper cables.

While were on the topic of jumper cables....
Dustin00whoop
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You might be a Mexican if you pull the window unit out of your house, plug it into an extension cord, & put it in the yard so you can drink beer without having to listen to the women or getting too hot. (Saw that one back home in El Campo.)
MarylandAG
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Nice one Dustin.

If you shape the bill of your cap, till it looks almost like a taco shell, you might be a mexican.

If the site of a cacutus, make you think of eggs and breakfast, you might be mexican, a hardcore one at that.

Sandiaman91
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I might be a Mexican because I want yall to quit gabbing on this thread and put up more latina pics...que buenas!!

Nice one Dustin, that cracked me up because me and some buddies bought a window unit(used) to do just that...
Dustin00whoop
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If you refer to something that is put around a broken bone as a casket, you might be a Mexican (from Monterrey who is still trying to learn the English language.)
Dustin00whoop
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If you've ever said, "I'll cut you three ways...long, deep, & frequently," you might be a Mexican.
Dustin00whoop
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If you refer to your friends & all your friends refer to you as "Pinche `insert name here'" or simply "Pinche", you might be a Mexican.
Dustin00whoop
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sorry, but I couldn't resist:

If you've ever brought a knife to a gun fight, you might be a Mexican.
Frank the Tank
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^
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or simply as guero mamon
MarylandAG
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ROTFLMAO! that is too funny Dustin. Just reading the word "pinche" makes me homesick.


If you refer to your mom and dad as "jefita" and "jefito", then you are straight up gangsta mexican.

If you refer to pospicles as "heillitos", you might be a mexican.
Dustin00whoop
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If when you hear Bimbo, you think of food...you might be a Mexican.
A-K
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You might be Mexican if You:

celebrate mother's day by killing a "chivo" and New Year's by killing a pig; N-e-body want some tamales?







A-K
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you might be mexican if you go to the grocery store to pick up a dozen eggs and a 6-pack of Tecate.......I just saw this one....classic
Brat86
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You may be Mexican if...you enjoy eating bovine facial parts...ie cachete, ojos, cesos, lengua ect.
Frank the Tank
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you have a tio and tia named lupe and they're married to each other
RGV AG
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You might be Mexican if you have an early 70's chevy pickup truck with mismatched wheels with "CHUPACARGAS" written in gothic letters on the tailgate.
#1
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You might be mexican if you call chicken "shicken" and sharp "charp."
A-K
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You might be Mexican if you have ever said any of the following phrases:

a. no mames guey
b. chingao guey
c. no la chinges guey
d. otra beer guey
e. pinche guey
f. no vales madre guey
Sandiaman91
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this is a rip-off from the soda topic on the A&M football board, but when I heard it, I knew it belonged here...

When they ask you "what kind of Coke do you want?", you say "Big Red", well, you might be a Mexican.

Come to think of it, whoever asked you "what kind of Coke do you want?", might also be a Mexican...
Comeby!
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HeyMoe
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If you keep a chicken not as food but as a roommate, you might be a Mexican.

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2ndYearSenior
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if you refer to your vacation/holiday time away from work as "beykayshuns" you might be a mexican.
proudaggie02
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if you drive a full-size school bus with "Sharyland ISD" down 59 in Houston (near downtown) AND you are using the bus to tow a crappy car. i saw this today, and instantly thought about this thread.
2ndYearSenior
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la pinche cherryland, holmes!
Frank the Tank
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your 70 year old, white haired grandmother still dyes her hair jetblack.
3rd Platoon
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If in your high school you hear the words uttered:

"Oye vato, quiero watchar los Panthers el Friday, guey!"

You might be a Mexican.


If someone thanks you for something and you respond "No mas de queso, no mas de papa", you might be a Mexican.

[This message has been edited by 3rd Platoon (edited 8/23/2005 7:45p).]
3rd Platoon
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"Hijo de la manteca!"
George Jefferson
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you live in the valley
cecil77
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You might be from the Valley if:

While waiting at the "McAllen Gate" in DFW you know more than 16 people - 7 are primos.
George Jefferson
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you can use the word "pedo" in numerous ways:

-Esa vieja quiere pedo.

-Viene bien pedo el Ricardo.

-Que pedo tan jediondo te tiraste, buey!

-Que pedo, puto?!?!

-Te gusta el pedo?

 
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