swimmerbabe11 said:

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I guess I'm being dense, but why waste money on a solitaire if that isn't the type of ring she wants?

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Bet a plain gold solitaire is a shlt load cheaper than two custom platinum settings. 3rd time around I'll know what to do.

Kidding, no way I'd go for round 3.

Chuck is great but the distance was a problem. Diamonds Direct and a designer setting and a few stackables made drumgirl happy.

All that from buying a wedding ring! Haha wow. All I've got to say is that my wife was perfectly happy picking her ring (which was very simple) and I was more than happy to not have to deal with it other than the check. Different strokes for different folks I'd say, I used to have similar feelings as you but then realized that otherwise-rational women have been successfully brainwashed by the engagement ring propaganda, and it's not worth causing a rift and definitely not worth losing a woman who by all accounts is perfect for me.

Say it with me

mois san ite

I guess I'm caught up on the part where some of you are saying "when you ask".. which implies the solitaire is just a prop.

most girls have strategically shown friends and family what they hope for or have a pinterest page devoted to this sort of thing. Researching the ring isn't that much different than Christmas shopping, is it?

High
Maintenance

If they are that focused on the ring in all of this it's a bad sign. The ring is just a symbol. It doesn't make the marriage.

I get that you worked in the wedding industry and have probably heard all of the demands of hundreds of bridezillas. On the side of the equation where someone actually has to pay to meet those demands, I think being realistic is important.

She can have a nice wedding band with other diamonds to accent the band with the solitaire if needed.

Guarantee the woman demanding a certain ring to get engaged will want an upgraded ring at the 5-year or 10-year mark, if the marriage lasts that long.

I've always considered myself medium maintenance, but I'm fine with being high maintenance. Nice things are worth maintaining.

My philosophy is this.

a) symbols are important. my church has a Solid gold communion chalice that is silver lined. it is engraved and it is gorgeous. Does it change the communion by being that way? not technically, but it does emphasize the value of the contents inside better than a solo cup.

b) amount of money spent doesn't actually concern me and is none of my business. I dont want to know. beautiful rings can be found at almost any price point. The thought going into picking one that you think is beautiful and perfect for your spouse is the important thing here... rather than running into the nearest Zales in the mall and grabbing the first shiny finger circle you see and calling it good enough. If you reread, my comments were all about style and never about price.

c) women tend to put quite a bit into their physical appearance, clothes, hair, makeup, and accessories. They shop, they curate a sense of style... and these are things you love about your significant other. So if she's developed taste... how is she supposed to suddenly be blind and not have an opinion about the item on her hand that she'll be wearing with her clothes and accessories every day for the rest of her life?

d) back to symbols. that ring represents you when you aren't there. It's the signal that says you exist. make it one you are proud of.

maroon barchetta said:

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I'm not big on the whole "guy must have every detail communicated to him on what kind of setting and large stone and smaller stones the girl wants" idea.

This isn't a Christmas wish list a kid sends to Santa. There needs to be some spontaneity. If he eyes a great pear-shaped 2ct stone and gets that in a simple setting instead of whatever 1.25ct with two smaller stones on each side that she envisioned, she should be glad he went with elegant and simple.

There was a time when the guy took a leap of faith and bought stone and setting and got on one knee and the girl was thrilled to be asked and that he took the initiative.

If she's going to have that much say in the engagement ring she might as well pick the day they are getting engaged and the place and time and what they are wearing.

If she doesn't like the ring he buys and comments on it, he needs to punt. This is an indicator of her being high maintenance and he just avoided a marriage full of similar henpecking and nagging.

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This. She should be saying "yes" to marrying you….not "Yes i, I will marry you as long as the ring is perfect to my specifications."

If it is the latter…..there are good family law attorneys I will recommend when you return here 7 years from now.

These people talkin bout how you shouldn't spend a lot of money on your lady sound like a bunch of lolpoors.

They prolly text in green.

AMIRITE

wait a minute, I text in green!

swimmerbabe11 said:

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I guess I'm being dense, but why waste money on a solitaire if that isn't the type of ring she wants?

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Girls don't really want a guy that needs hints from friends/family on what pwincess wants.

You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

Sea Speed said:

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You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

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You'll eat what's on your plate or you'll go hungry!

Starving brides in Africa dont get to have opinions on their engagement rings either!

maroon barchetta said:

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High
Maintenance

If they are that focused on the ring in all of this it's a bad sign. The ring is just a symbol. It doesn't make the marriage.

I get that you worked in the wedding industry and have probably heard all of the demands of hundreds of bridezillas. On the side of the equation where someone actually has to pay to meet those demands, I think being realistic is important.

She can have a nice wedding band with other diamonds to accent the band with the solitaire if needed.

Guarantee the woman demanding a certain ring to get engaged will want an upgraded ring at the 5-year or 10-year mark, if the marriage lasts that long.

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My wife picked her ring out and told me which one she wanted. It cost a little over $1k.

She's asked for zero upgrades and we've been married 9 years this year.

I've spent probably somewhere around $1,800 in jewelry for her in the 10 years we've been together.

TexAgsSean said:

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maroon barchetta said:

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High
Maintenance

If they are that focused on the ring in all of this it's a bad sign. The ring is just a symbol. It doesn't make the marriage.

I get that you worked in the wedding industry and have probably heard all of the demands of hundreds of bridezillas. On the side of the equation where someone actually has to pay to meet those demands, I think being realistic is important.

She can have a nice wedding band with other diamonds to accent the band with the solitaire if needed.

Guarantee the woman demanding a certain ring to get engaged will want an upgraded ring at the 5-year or 10-year mark, if the marriage lasts that long.

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My wife picked her ring out and told me which one she wanted. It cost a little over $1k.

She's asked for zero upgrades and we've been married 9 years this year.

I've spent probably somewhere around $1,800 in jewelry for her in the 10 years we've been together.

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Doing it right.

I love my set. Chuck did them (he and the hubs were roommates at A&M). The stone choices have meaning. They're not very expensive. I prefer real estate and early retirement.

Buy your main diamond online. Do your research, I recommend reading "How to Buy a Diamond". Don't get too caught up in clarity rating. It's far less important than cut quality and color, especially for something other than an emerald cut. Make sure anything you buy comes with a GIA cert. I became an amateur expert on good ratios and all the other lesser known metrics to judging stones. You'll save thousands just doing this.

Once you have the stone, take it to someone local like Jay for your setting and to put it all together.

Went and saw Jay. Had a great experience and is a great guy so will be moving forward with him. He greatly appreciated the recommendation and the business from the Ags here. Told me to say hello for him.

send pics and proposal story after! Congrats and good luck!

Another very satisfied customer of Jay Freedman at Jonathan's here. Picked up the ring yesterday. He did a great job! https://www.jfjco.com/contact-us/jay-freedman/

Highly recommended. He will make any design you have in mind or you can select one out of the bands already made on display and select the main diamond to go with it. Can't go wrong with Jay.

Great service and value and something nice for all budgets.

It was great to see this thread as I was looking for a place right at the time it started. Texags always delivers! :-)

Chuck Konderla if you want the Aggie connection:

https://fifthcjewelry.com/

Did not use chuck for engagement, but used him for some other diamonds. When he was in town, he came to my office and showed me various diamonds. Very easy and helpful.