Anybody have a recommendation on someone we could reach out to about our 3 year old? Doctor is suggestion he has "Oppositional Defiance" and it's starting to negatively impact him at school. Want to get him help.

I think Adrian Peterson is available

Funny Jokes guys, but any serious answers?

I hope yall don't have the stress of kids being sent home early for hitting and biting a teacher.

Sounds like he is just being a 3 yr old.

In general he is, but when he doesn't want to do something he will hit or bite or just throw a temper tantrum.

We had to pick him up from school today because he wouldn't calm down. That's the behavior he want to curb.

So you came to the Houston board on texags for help? LOL



















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AgLiving06 said:

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In general he is, but when he doesn't want to do something he will hit or bite or just throw a temper tantrum.

We had to pick him up from school today because he wouldn't calm down. That's the behavior he want to curb.

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In all honesty, it sounds like a phase. I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent, but there's a point you can overparent too.

I hope it will be too, but he was asked to leave one school this year for being so disruptive and he had to leave early today. That's how it started at the first school.

Maybe you just have to find the right place....I dunno

AgLiving06 said:

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Funny Jokes guys, but any serious answers?

I hope yall don't have the stress of kids being sent home early for hitting and biting a teacher.

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Depends on the teacher's politics, tbh. I don't have enough information to determine whether I would be distraught or the proudest daddy in the world.

But back to the issue...do yall spank him or discipline him? We seem to have more and more friends taking this new age "we don't tell our child "no"" approach. I know three is kind of young, but if I slapped or bit my dad because I didn't want to do something, he would have taken action, and I would not have liked it.

https://behaviortlc.com/

Boo Weekley said:

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AgLiving06 said:

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Funny Jokes guys, but any serious answers?

I hope yall don't have the stress of kids being sent home early for hitting and biting a teacher.

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Depends on the teacher's politics, tbh. I don't have enough information to determine whether I would be distraught or the proudest daddy in the world.

But back to the issue...do yall spank him or discipline him? We seem to have more and more friends taking this new age "we don't tell our child "no"" approach. I know three is kind of young, but if I slapped or bit my dad because I didn't want to do something, he would have taken action, and I would not have liked it.

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Yes he gets disciplined. Spanking, time out, stuff taken away etc, etc.

He acts like a 3 year old at home. That we can deal with. The problem is at school. When he decided he wants to do something and gets told no, he just escalates until he wants to stop.

So today, he did ok to start the day, but sat through chapel. We took him to the doc brought him back. He didn't want to go back so he decided to throw his glue bottle. When he got in trouble for that, he took his shoes off and threw those. When the teacher tried to stop him, he took off running from her. When she finally caught him and restrained him, he started biting her arm and anybody who tried to stop him.

It would never have gotten that far had it happened in my house, but we need him to learn to control himself there. He rarely has a day where he's not in time out at school for throwing something, hitting someone or getting mad about something.

The doctor things it's more than a phase and needs to be dealt with.

There is great help out there AgLiving06. The Behavior TLC folks really helped my child but I think any ABA child therapist would benefit your son.

AgLiving06 said:

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Funny Jokes guys, but any serious answers?

I hope yall don't have the stress of kids being sent home early for hitting and biting a teacher.

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I have four children and none have bitten another more than once. I have actually help fix a neice as well.


Next time you witness or hear of a bite. Make the child acknowledge what he has done. Tell him it is wrong...and pinch their mouth until you know their mouth is bleeding.


I can assure you no more biting will occur.

If you're kid is looking to play soccer let me know - my U4/U5 team is lacking a mean streak.

BTW, other people's parenting issues is one thing I don't make light of. I've got three of 'em at home. Good luck brother.

I have no good advice for you, just a clip from Futurama

evestor1 said:

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Tell him it is wrong...and pinch their mouth until you know their mouth is bleeding.

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Oppositional defiance. Sounds made up so someone could earn a PhD.

I bit around that age. My parents tried a lot of things, but apparently a friend told them that if I did it again, just bite me back. So one day I bit and my mother bit me. I never did it again.

Martin Q. Blank said:

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Oppositional defiance. Sounds made up so someone could earn a PhD.

I bit around that age. My parents tried a lot of things, but apparently a friend told them that if I did it again, just bite me back. So one day I bit and my mother bit me. I never did it again.

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simpler times

I will say what's right for one child may not be right for another. It seems there's no "magic cure" despite what the experts (who you can pay a lot of money to) would have you believe....unless a child has something really wrong with them. Which in this case it just seems like it's a behavior that needs to be corrected. Good luck.

Sounds like impulse control issues or something similar. There are a lot of places in town that work with that. I get it that you posted this on the Houston board and you're catching some stuff that is to be expected. Hell, I would have posted the Bender video if someone else didn't beat me to the punch.

Upshot is that this isn't some uncommon problem or that your child already punched a 1 way ticket to public school system -> prison system -> dead end job -> prison system again -> meth dealing -> deal gone wrong -> murder -> death row.

It's just something to work through and getting outside help is really useful. A lot of us recall behavioral issues being dealt with via a belt when we were kids. That was likely a function of not being able to afford outside help. Give me a bit and I'll post some info.

One other thing -- boys. They're like that.

I would recommend taking him out of the school and homeschooling him for a while. It sounds to me like he needs consistent, loving discipline, and (IMHO) more one-on-one attention than the school can give him.

12f Mane said:

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Jessica Tata Academy

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My God.

GeographyAg said:

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I would recommend taking him out of the school and homeschooling him for a while. It sounds to me like he needs consistent, loving discipline, and (IMHO) more one-on-one attention than the school can give him.

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I actually suspect his desire to be at home is part of the problem. He wants to be with mom.

At the first school, he realized if he threw a tantrum they would send him home and so that's exactly what he did. The new school said he would act out and then ask where his mom was.

ThunderCougarFalconBird said:

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Sounds like impulse control issues or something similar. There are a lot of places in town that work with that. I get it that you posted this on the Houston board and you're catching some stuff that is to be expected. Hell, I would have posted the Bender video if someone else didn't beat me to the punch.

Upshot is that this isn't some uncommon problem or that your child already punched a 1 way ticket to public school system -> prison system -> dead end job -> prison system again -> meth dealing -> deal gone wrong -> murder -> death row.

It's just something to work through and getting outside help is really useful. A lot of us recall behavioral issues being dealt with via a belt when we were kids. That was likely a function of not being able to afford outside help. Give me a bit and I'll post some info.

One other thing -- boys. They're like that.

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You're right. I was just frustrated earlier. Watching my son struggle and not knowing how to help him is such a defeating feeling.

You're right on there being lots of places and that's actually part of the problem. Do a google search and there's a 100 difference options within 20 miles with no way of knowing if one is good or not.

I was able to have initial calls with two different ones, one recommended by his school, so maybe we will get some breathing room.

I second this. My son went through similar issues in K-2nd grade. We had just moved to TX, and some impulse control issues I'd noticed previously just got worse. Like the OP's son, he was usually fine at home but school was another issue.

The impulse control isn't just behavioral, but emotional, too. It's a often a chicken/egg thing when it comes to an emotional outburst/breakdown vs a physical one.

My son was a little older, and we did opt to treat him with Intuniv (generic name guanfacine, which is prescribed specifically for impulsivity). He was also fortunate to have a school counselor and a few teachers who didn't freak out and insist they had NEVER seen a kid behave like this before. I think part of the reason why it escalated was because his K teacher just threw up her hands and said she couldn't handle it. His 1st and 2nd grade teachers were much more experienced and patient and took the time to figure out why he was getting upset and what things would calm him down.

With that said, it was a multi-year process. The medication was temporary. He eventually came off of it after a few years and is now a healthy, happy, well-balanced 17 year old.

Not sure any of this helps much other than to say I know it's tough but you can get through it with the right help.

I'd start with recs from your pediatrician. If they don't have any, find another.

Be careful with doctors wanting to write it off as ADD/ADHD. Your son very well might have that, too, but mine didn't. The first psychiatrist we saw was AWFUL. She prescribed a stimulant (Concerta, IIRC), and against my better judgement, I gave it to him. We didn't even make it the weekend. It made his symptoms exponentially worse and obviously wasn't an appropriate treatment for him.

AgLiving06 said:

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Boo Weekley said:

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AgLiving06 said:

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Funny Jokes guys, but any serious answers?

I hope yall don't have the stress of kids being sent home early for hitting and biting a teacher.

---

Depends on the teacher's politics, tbh. I don't have enough information to determine whether I would be distraught or the proudest daddy in the world.

But back to the issue...do yall spank him or discipline him? We seem to have more and more friends taking this new age "we don't tell our child "no"" approach. I know three is kind of young, but if I slapped or bit my dad because I didn't want to do something, he would have taken action, and I would not have liked it.

---

Yes he gets disciplined. Spanking, time out, stuff taken away etc, etc.

He acts like a 3 year old at home. That we can deal with. The problem is at school. When he decided he wants to do something and gets told no, he just escalates until he wants to stop.

So today, he did ok to start the day, but sat through chapel. We took him to the doc brought him back. He didn't want to go back so he decided to throw his glue bottle. When he got in trouble for that, he took his shoes off and threw those. When the teacher tried to stop him, he took off running from her. When she finally caught him and restrained him, he started biting her arm and anybody who tried to stop him.

It would never have gotten that far had it happened in my house, but we need him to learn to control himself there. He rarely has a day where he's not in time out at school for throwing something, hitting someone or getting mad about something.

The doctor things it's more than a phase and needs to be dealt with.

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I hear you, I bet this is a way more common phase than people think. And deep down I always wonder if stuff like this could be attributed to how we responded to Covid during many childrens' initial years of life and social development. You are hearing about all sorts of problems with older children, and speech delays in younger ones, so I could see other potential negative effects we haven't even identified or accepted yet.

The good news is that everything's gonna be ok, whether it's a short or drawn out phase, it will still be fine.

AgLiving06 said:

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GeographyAg said:

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I would recommend taking him out of the school and homeschooling him for a while. It sounds to me like he needs consistent, loving discipline, and (IMHO) more one-on-one attention than the school can give him.

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I actually suspect his desire to be at home is part of the problem. He wants to be with mom.

At the first school, he realized if he threw a tantrum they would send him home and so that's exactly what he did. The new school said he would act out and then ask where his mom was.

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Poor kid. That breaks my heart. Of course he wants to be with people who love him.

I would recommend reading Dare to Discipline. Additionally, you need to find what will impact the child - spanking may not.

My kid responds well to grounding, but whether it's park time, video games, etc. - there has to be something that the value of losing it or being physically disciplined is greater than the act of misbehaving. I also had my son out doing push-ups and running laps as discipline too. Boys need to expel energy and the best way to do that is wear them out (somewhat like a dog).

The teacher and you need a plan for consistent punishment that if he escalates, he knows the consequences if dad or mom are called.

I'll offer something helpful, as these some of these a*holes are in True tine form.

ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) is way too young to diagnose at 3 years old (even by your ped).

We have used an amazing therapist for social language development and occupational therapy at TheraKids. I would start there. Eventually our son was diagnosed with ADHD and we are managing with therapy and no meds at this time. We saw a neurologist as well through ' Think neurology' and had a great experience (had a couple other things to look out for as well). Our son is thriving with therapy and a 504 at school. At 3 years old it was tough though. We have another 3 year old (neurotypical) now and he is also a a bit of a terrorist but not biting all the time like our first was at that age. Hang in there.

What the actual F is this advice. I hope a troll.

I did a google search and are you talking about the Therakids place in Bellaire?