My 14 yo GSD has started having more issues the past several months and I think we're getting close to having to say goodbye but struggling with "when". I know it's personal, but I'm curious how drew the line and made the call.

None of her issues are catastrophically bad but together may be a quality of life thing. We have an 8-week-old baby so there have been lots of changes that don't seem to sit well with her old schedule.

- She started having sundowners syndrome which has really progressed since a couple of months ago. 2 hours before bed she starts barking tirelessly to come in for bed. She's ALWAYS been an outside dog but this behavior started probably 6 months ago and has gotten worse. She's on melatonin and trazodone to help keep her calm for bedtime but even then she's restless a good bit of the night on bad nights. And is up at 6a to go outside, regardless

- Mobility wise she's relatively good for her age. Walks around the yard, and chases the other kids (4 and 6), especially when they have food. Her rear right paw knuckles a lot (not all the time yet). Enough that it's created some sores where her nail meets her skin. She wears a bootie when on hard surfaces and helps tremendously, the sores are healing. But she needs help getting up a decent bit, especially on certain surfaces like slick floors or if she's in a different position.

- Pees normally and barks to go outside. Lost almost all feeling to defecate (solid and easy to clean but sad). Sometimes barks to go outside to do it, not often.

- She will sometimes pant pretty hard at rest, talking ~45 breaths per minute sometimes. Last year they did xrays and said her lungs looked cloudy

- She still sits, shakes, speaks, etc. on command like her old self so the spirit is willing. Ears perk up, etc. She doesn't "seem ready"

- Last week at her annual the vet suggested not to wait much longer and didn't even give her annual vaccines based on our discussion

All in all, I'm worried about waiting "too long" and something urgent/catastrophic/painful taking her but also not pulling the trigger too early. It's hard. Will definitely have someone comes to the house if we can.

When she laid down in the front yard and didn't want to go for a walk.

Beautiful dog, and sounds like she's very loved.

As for "when", like you said, it's impossible to generalize. With the sundowner syndrome and the defecation issues, I'd probably agree with your vet that you don't want to wait too long. But it's so damn hard to let go, isn't it?

Beautiful and sweet, sweet girl.

It is hard when there's nothing definite. After taking care of them for so many years, we don't want to feel like we're killing them. We're willing to do it when it's "time", but not a minute before that.

Dogs are amazing creatures. Even when sick or ill, they will not show it to the ones they love. You need to spare her from what is coming. I have had to do this three times now. Never easy but I learned a tough lesson that you can wait too long.

We are on our way to the vet now and this is probably it. We can't get her platelets up and it appears she is bleeding internally, based on the bruising on her belly.

This will be the second dog to have to put down in 6 months. It sucks to go through.

Your post of symptoms and the vet advice says you already know. It's time

B-1 83 said:

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When she laid down in the front yard and didn't want to go for a walk.

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My 4.5 year old does this all the time, but she's just lazy sometimes

Every time I have had to make the decision there was a rapid and noticeable decline in their behavior/mood which helped me identify the moment that the quality of life had deteriorated to the point that it was obviously "time". That isnt to say that it is an easy call, but it is made easier knowing that they are no longer happy and enjoying life.

I think the signs have been different for each dog, but if you know your dogs behavior you will notice when it changes. For example, most recently, one day my lab stopped greeting me when I walked in the door, he would just lie on the floor look at time and give a little tail wag. The next day he didnt lift his head and wag his tail which made it clear to me that his quality of life was gone. Even petting him wouldnt produce a tail wag.

Another occasion we had a mix that would never leave the kids side and didnt like being outside. Suddenly she had no energy and would get as far away from the kids as she could, she wouldnt come inside and just wanted to lie under a bush outside, almost as if she was hiding from the family. It was obvious that she was suffering.

aggiedata said:

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Dogs are amazing creatures. Even when sick or ill, they will not show it to the ones they love. You need to spare her from what is coming. I have had to do this three times now. Never easy but I learned a tough lesson that you can wait too long.

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This is one of my worst fears. This girl is incredibly stoic. Not once in her 14 years has she winced, yelped, wined, etc. at the vet getting vaccines, dentals, or whatever it may be.

If she's in pain or suffering she'll do whatever to hide it.

I can only tell you that I still regret trying to do whatever we could to save my lab and it only brought more suffering to her.

I vowed not to wait that long again. We were much more at peace when our golden started declining. We all knew it was time. Could we have gone longer isn't the question to ask. I learned it the hard way.

Every dog is different on when they let you know it's time. I used to think they'd always give a firm statement of when it's time, but sometimes it's very subtle.

Dogs are wired to please their person first and foremost. A lot of times a dog will not let you know anything because it almost seems like they'd be letting you down by giving you anything other than a subtle hint. You have to know the animal.

Bottom line, if you think it is time, it probably is. Do not prolong suffering of an animal for your own gratification. It's not fair to them after giving you a life full of happiness. It is hard but a necessary part of pet ownership.

Our 8 year old Golden Retriever had lymphoma and deteriorated quickly over a 3 month span, but he would go up and down, and seemed to bounce back every couple of weeks and seem like he was back to normal, at least for a couple of days. We knew it was time to take him when he went out back under our kids treehouse and wouldn't come out. I don't know how to describe it, but he knew it was time and tried to find a spot to die. You could tell by looking in his eyes that his fight was gone and he was through. It has been 11 years and it still tears me up to think about it. Best dog we ever had.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was put down our old border collie. When they give you that look that screams that they're in pain, you know it's time. Now I look back and smile when old videos or pictures come up of her as a young pup.

Man's best friend.

I've had to put down over 7 dogs in my life. I waited too long on every single one. Not intentionally just because the idea is too hard to bear and I convinced myself they were getting better. Generally, when they can't move under their own power or their quality of life is gone, it's time. Sorry for your situation.

Had one that wouldn't/couldn't settle at bed time and that combined with similar symptoms as OP's buddy showed us it was time. Using a "quality of life" scorecard (google and get lots) to track decline is helpful and can sometimes show in more black and white if its time.

Would highly recommend a vet service that comes to your house to do the deed vs. the sterile vet's office. This made it much easier for us when it was time with past doggos.

If you're asking the question, it's time.

aggiesundevil4 said:

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You have to think about what is best for the dog, and not focus on your grief as a reason to do it or not do it.

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Thank you for this sentiment. I'm definitely doing my absolute best to keep my feelings out of the picture and focus on her quality of life. Hence the vet appointment and my OP.

My vet does the at home service which I will 100% do for her. She deserves the best.

Funny story about her adoption. I got an MIP tailgating on campus from a bike cop. I was sentenced to community service so I did it as the Brazos Valley animal shelter.

Some family got their little kids a puppy GSD but complained of high energy. So I brought her home, kept her active and as soon as I could, bought a house on a half acre with a huge backyard. She's been camping, hiking, saw us bring 3 kids home, etc. Great 14 years.

I have laid right there with them until the natural end. At their worst moments I would provide them with as much comfort as I could. These episodes typically cycled and in between would receive confirmation from them that they knew they were loved all the way up to the end.

Not an easy thing to do and not positive I will be able to do that always and dreading the next.

I was thinking today, a dog is not just a pet, it is a slice of your life.

We put down a 16 year old dog six months ago. My son was 12 when we got the dog. He is 28 now.

That was a big part of our lives, especially as a parent.