Last month, a hunter showed me an old epic pic of himself and friends in Acuna and it got me to thinking about all the good times had across the border. Dinner at Ma Crosby's, a few drinks at the Corona Club topped off with a trip up the hill.

Years ago a buddy of mine was on the receiving end of a mouth hug when he noted something wet landing on his leg. He asked in his broken Spanish what it was........the reply: "Leche!".

That's why the Cartel's suck. Screwed up a good thing.

Hunted a famous ranch in South Texas. Day we showed up there was a gift waiting- 5 severed heads in a cooler.

Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess

Damn that's rough.

This thread has potential.

Mouth hug

Had a similar night in Acuna about 20 years ago. We drank some beers with some old Ags. We went up the hill but only one of the guys we were with spent any money. Probably the sketchiest place I've ever been, complete with a pregnant entertainer.

Another South Texas Story...

10:45 ish at night we hear gunshots across fences. Bright,full moon light enjoying the fire pit didnt,think much of it. Phone starts buzzing in my pocket which in itself is a miracle. Pick it up and neighbor (1800 acres away) says he had visitors and they weren't the friendly types. Next day out scouting, came across 6, I mean FIVE...definitely 5 large bundles of Mexican agriculture. Called authorities and they came to visit. Next trip down there....there were 2, brand new Kawasaki "MULES". And they say angry old white people dont have a sense of humor.

Tomorrow I will add the story of "Nopalita".

In before the bull**** gets any deeper

EFE said:

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In before the bull**** gets any deeper

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So...you can breathe through your eyeballs?

Grew up in Del Rio. Every time a buddy from out of town came down, that's the place they'd wanna go, to get "baptized". That's where you stick a dollar bill in your mouth & the nice young lady picks it up without her hands.

If you think Hunters was sketchy, you should have been to the ones in the back behind it. Man we did some ignorant **** in high school, but damn Acuna 3 nights a week was lots of fun for 15 year olds with $20 in their pocket.

F'n Barnes Everywhere.

Dirty-8-thirty Ag said:

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Grew up in Del Rio. Every time a buddy from out of town came down, that's the place they'd wanna go, to get "baptized". That's where you stick a dollar bill in your mouth & the nice young lady picks it up without her hands.

If you think Hunters was sketchy, you should have been to the ones in the back behind it. Man we did some ignorant **** in high school, but damn Acuna 3 nights a week was lots of fun for 15 year olds with $20 dollars in their pocket.

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Username checks out.

Growing up just across the river from Reynosa had its advantages. $20 all you can drink wrist bands, 3 shots of tequila for $1, cheap street tacos, and Boy's Town.

One night in high school some buddies of mine crossed over to experience all that Reynosa had to offer; culminating with a stop in BT. They are sufficiently knackered at this point so their judgement might have been a little off when choosing from the line up of ladies. Our star wide receiver (who I will just call joe for the sake of anonymity) ends up choosing this one girl on the far side leaned up against a wall. She takes him back to her room and makes him take off his pants; then proceedes to wash and dry his junk.

She starts doing this little strip show for him, but Joe is drunk and pretty ready to go so he pulls her over to the bed. He undressing her as fast as he can and goes to pull off her pants. When they are down around her knees his booze addled brain realizes that from about mid thigh down on her right leg is prosthetic. And in his horny fumbling he's somehow managed to halfway unhook it.

Now Joe isn't the most fluent guy when it comes to Spanish, but he figures out through her gestures that she just wants him to pull it off so that they don't have to stop, and can get on with it the deed. So, he gets the left pant leg off and starts gently pulls on the prosthetic, but nothing happens. At this point she's gesticulating pretty wildly for him just to give it a yank con ganas. So he grasps it pretty good and really starts Tugging at it. Just really pulling on that leg, just like I'm pulling yours right now.

That's the kind of story to tell around a campfire. Nicely done, Sir!

I will never put my Mexico stories in print

Let's here some donkey show stories

Dirty-8-thirty Ag said:

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Grew up in Del Rio. Every time a buddy from out of town came down, that's the place they'd wanna go, to get "baptized". That's where you stick a dollar bill in your mouth & the nice young lady picks it up without her hands.

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Absolutely disgusting. Never put money in your mouth.

Well you aint seen nothing yet until you watch a Thai girl shoot a ping pong ball into a shot glass from 8ft. She wasn't using here mouth. She played hide the baby turtle too. Good times overseas. But I'm with the poster that said the Cartels have done in the good times at the border.

I thought you were gonna go for the "Chango Maniaco" route for a minute, well played

Thailand is a different level than the border. Kind of like major league ball vs AA ball

AV8ORAG84 said:

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Thailand is a different level than the border. Kind of like major league ball vs AA ball

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I'm open to hearing stories from both.

Stive said:

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AV8ORAG84 said:

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Thailand is a different level than the border. Kind of like major league ball vs AA ball

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I'm open to hearing stories from both.

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Me too!

Friend of mines parents lived in new Mexico about 20 miles from the border. Can't remember the name of the town. We decide to go to Mexico one night. My friend had been quite a fee times growing up so we feel pretty safe. This was around 2005. So we go across and start drinking. Wherever we were at had $1 coronas. We leave to go to another bar and get stopped by local police. They demand all our money at gun point and threaten to take us to jail. We gave them around $80 and they let us go. One of our friends had $20 in his sock. So we decide to get a couple more beers a piece and start walking back to the border crossing(we parked on the U.S. side and walked across). On the way to the border checkpoint another group of local police stop us at gun point and demand money. At this point we have $12 left and they are pissed. We assume they think we are holding out. We're trying to explain this is our second shake down and they are yelling a lot in Spanish. Things eventually calm down and one friend realizes we need around 50 cents a piece to go through the turnstile at the border and we have no cash or change. So he goes up to the cops who just robbed us and asks for some change so we can get across the border. The cop grabs a handful of coins and throws it at my friend. We frantically pick up coins and run to the border. Strange night.

Our family owns a larger ranch in Webb County. The stories we can tell.

Pinche Abogado said:

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Our family owns a larger ranch in Webb County. The stories we can tell.

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Well, it looks like half the user name checks out......spill 'em!

Drinking in Acuna in 2001. Waking back across the bridge and we get into a fight with a few recently recently from prison white supremacists (one was missing an arm)...and we were literally on the bridge and help arrives from nowhere.

We fight until everyone is tired and the nazis cross over, but wait in that ****ty parking lot just across the border. We walk up and they graciously decided that since we are all white all should be forgiven (and then proceed to give us a ride into town). They left us at the whataburger in del rio and we sighed a breath of relief.

Border towns used to be fun until the cartels ****ed them up.

B-1 83 said:

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Pinche Abogado said:

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Our family owns a larger ranch in Webb County. The stories we can tell.

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Well, it looks like half the user name checks out......spill 'em!

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Not my story...friend of a friend:

South Texas, big ranch close to the border. Mid 1970's.

These guys were all high rollers on this lease. They would escape the big cities and their wives and go party their butts off at the ranch. They would bring in some of the local talent on most weekends for carnal activities. Well- the wives got word of what was happening and decided to show up and ambush the guys. One of the hunters figured out that the wives were on the way and tells the gate guard "Don't let in the putas, The wives are on their way."

So the wives roll up to the gate first and the gate guard says,"No putas this weekend! The wives are coming!"

That went over pretty well!

Well I Woke up the next morning and I knew that I was in trouble. I was extremely naked lying face down in the sand. Well I Stumbled to me feet, an started looking for my old pickup. I would've asked for help, but I knew all they'd understand was

Una mas cerveza por favor senorita!!!!

You ever try pissing out of that little window in the men's room of the Corona Club? It's pretty damn high but doable.

Quote:

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One of the hunters figured out that the wives were on the way and tells the gate guard "Don't let in the putas, The wives are on their way."

So the wives roll up to the gate first and the gate guard says,"No putas this weekend! The wives are coming!"

That went over pretty well!

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This didn't happen but my goodness it is a great story!!

POTD right there. Well done.

nonameag99 said:

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Let's here some donkey show stories

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Was this show actually real or just an old story passed down?