Hi. I just wanted to see if I could get anybody's advice/words of wisdom for our situation. TIA and sorry for the long post!

We have an almost 12 year old lab who has: diabetes, arthritis, incontinence and lung cancer. She's had diabetes and incontinence for a little over 2 years now. We found out about the lung cancer at the end of March. The Dr said she's not a good candidate for treatment due to her other issues. We spend a little over $600/month on her medicine with the most expensive being the hydrocodone to help with her cough from the cancer. We're having our first baby at the end of June/beginning of July and we're not sure if we can continue to afford her medicine anymore.

We're thinking it might be time to put her to sleep and we've found a vet that will come to our house to do it. I think the hardest/worst part is that she still has bursts of energy and loves her walks, but doesn't play much anymore. She also seems fine to a normal person who doesn't hear her coughs, so it just seems harsh doing it now vs. 'waiting and seeing.' But I know her quality of life would be terrible without all this medicine and I don't know how well I can handle a newborn and putting our first 4 legged child to sleep (if that makes sense) if we wait.

We've scheduled the 'appointment' for next Saturday, May 27th, but just wondering if anybody has had this experience where they have to literally have the dog lay down to do it vs. the dog already being so sick they can't move anyways. Are we being selfish? Doing it too soon? Any advice would be greatly appreciated, my heart is breaking. I got her when I was a freshman at A&M.

Took ours to the vet to have it done 6 years ago. Not easy, but it was for the best. A 14 year old Aussie is on up there in age.

One of my tenets is that a day early is better than 5 minutes late. 2 days early better than 5 minutes late. It is tough but take yourself out of the timing. I usually give a very strong sedative prior to the fatal injection. Wish you the best. It is a crummy time in pet ownership.

There probably is no right answer. Good luck with you decision.

Not a vet, just a dog owner. IMHO a lot of people wait too long to let their pets go. Plan on giving her a great week/day, her favorite treats/toys, maybe a hamburger or steak, and lots of love. I chose to let my 12yo GSD go after he had a tumor rupture and the outcome was guarded at best. He was seemingly perfectly healthy before the rupture. Letting him go was made easier by knowing that his time was already short and prognosis not great. I couldn't bring myself to prolong his life, in a questionable quality, for my own selfish reasons. In my gut I knew it was time.

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Not a vet, just a dog owner. IMHO a lot of people wait too long to let their pets go. Plan on giving her a great week/day, her favorite treats/toys, maybe a hamburger or steak, and lots of love. I chose to let my 12yo GSD go after he had a tumor rupture and the outcome was guarded at best. He was seemingly perfectly healthy before the rupture. Letting him go was made easier by knowing that his time was already short and prognosis not great. I couldn't bring myself to prolong his life, in a questionable quality, for my own selfish reasons. In my gut I knew it was time.

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My brother-in-law had exactly the same thing happen with his 7-year old Spinone. Tumor on his spleen ruptured the day after I left their house on my semi-annual visit, and by the time I finished the two day drive home, my sister was calling me with the news. The whole family was shocked. He lasted a month, got better, then worse, until they had to make the decision. My brother-in-law sat with his buddy through the injection - that's all you can do.

You are not being selfish. $600 a month on an aging dog is a tall order, and you've already been doing that to try to help her out. I'd say you're being the opposite of selfish actually.

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Not a vet, just a dog owner. IMHO a lot of people wait too long to let their pets go. Plan on giving her a great week/day, her favorite treats/toys, maybe a hamburger or steak, and lots of love. I chose to let my 12yo GSD go after he had a tumor rupture and the outcome was guarded at best. He was seemingly perfectly healthy before the rupture. Letting him go was made easier by knowing that his time was already short and prognosis not great. I couldn't bring myself to prolong his life, in a questionable quality, for my own selfish reasons. In my gut I knew it was time.

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My in-laws had the same thing happen to two GSDs from different breeders within about a 3-4 year span...

I walked my 12 y/o Lab into the vet's office, I sat on the floor with her, the vet came in and did what was needed. Stayed till she was gone."Terra" suffered from liver failure, and it was time to let go.

We have also had the vet come to our place, but when possible, prefer taking them to the vet.

Ive only had to put one dog down, and I can tell you that what others are saying is true: You will regret waiting too long fprever, but the concern/guilt of doing it too early is temporary. Once time passes and you are thinking more with your brain than your heart, you will then realize your decision was sound.

We waited too long. And as hard as it is, Ill never do it again. When they are incontinent, or can't walk, or are in pain...thats when its time.

Man, there's a lot of onion cutting going on in this thread. I'm gonna go home and hug my pup.

My selfish Mom kept my dog alive which I gave her after my Dad passed way past his time.

Traverse was incontinent, barely walk etc. I came to put him down and my Mom screamed at me saying he was the last link to my Dad even though my Dad never saw him.

She went to visit my brother and he passed alone in a kennel. I was upset, angry and will never forgive my Mom for the torture she put on that sweet coon hound.

Dang this post is making me upset.

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My selfish Mom kept my dog alive which I gave her after my Dad passed way past his time.

Traverse was incontinent, barely walk etc. I came to put him down and my Mom screamed at me saying he was the last link to my Dad even though my Dad never saw him.

She went to visit my brother and he passed alone in a kennel. I was upset, angry and will never forgive my Mom for the torture she put on that sweet coon hound.

Dang this post is making me upset.

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just to lighten things up on this thread...



Okay, that's all the time we have! Thanks for joining us on "Who's More Grizzled?"

I wrote this now two years ago and never posted it, could not bear to do it, took me a minute to find the file and i could not finish reading thru it - apologize in advance for the length, it helped me thru a very tough time, maybe it will you also:


Preparation for my version of the longest day actually started Monday when the wife made the appointment and asked if I would go by myself: Saturday 2:30 - Good, that gives me plenty of time to dig the "hole".

Well a week full of Mondays and not getting home until dark thirty shot to h*** the idea of plenty of time to dig the hole. Did not sleep much Friday night, was it the rain, thunder and lightening or knowing what I had to do Saturday?

First light Saturday, started gathering up shovels, with the rain (in South Texas we have to thank God for it) I was not sure which would work best. Ground was soft from the rain but extra heavy with the wet dirt. Every other scoop I had to clean/scrape the shovel to keep it from weighing 50 lbs. Digging this one seems to take longer than I remember the others taking. Was it the extra weight of the dirt, not being able to stand very well on the wet hillside, or the fact that I had to keep wiping my face/eyes, was that the rain, sweat or something else getting in my eyes.

Three by four, that is about the size of the others, best I remember. About 4' in, found the familiar layer of concrete hard caliche I hit with the others as well as the fence posts that son #2 and I dug when the fence went up. No use to try to go any deeper, just clean out the hole and dress it up a bit. Lunch time already, damn did I miss breakfast? Not really hungry anyway.

One thirty, Mom (human) and you are taking a nap on the bed, dog mom is taking a nap on her pad, and I tell them it's time. Your dog mom watches us leave and she gets that "Can I come too look". No not this time, not yet. Human mom helps me get you in the car and you and I start the longest 45 minute drive of my life. Arrive at the clinic and I get you unloaded and in the lobby. It's full of people with their pets, I get you settled in the corner and I have a seat next to you. In a few minutes one of the nice ladies at the front desk notices us sitting in the corner and asks if she can help us. I responded that we had a 2:30 appointment and give her your name. Did I notice a change in her expression when she checked your records for the purpose of our visit?

It started raining hard now and a young man comes out of one of the examining rooms with a beautiful black lab puppy and sits next to me to wait out the rain. I mention to him that he has a beautiful dog and he says thanks, and adds that you look "spoiled", I had to ask what he meant and he mumbled something about being well fed. I guess mom and I could go on a diet when this is over but you won't need to. The rain slows long enough for him and his puppy to make a dash for his truck, "Have a great day" he says as he leaves, "no way is h***" I think.

The nice lady at the desk says we can go to room 4.

In a few minutes another nice lady comes in, verifies that we have decided to "let you go peacefully" as she puts it and then goes off to get some forms for me to sign. Somehow I manage to sign my name and she asks if I am going to stay in the room with you and if I was going to take care of the remains. No way in h*** am I going to let you go with only strangers around and yes, I will take care your remains. The vet comes in, explains what is about to happen and asks if I am ready, I respond "No, Not really" as I wrap my arms around your neck and hold you for dear life as I see the liquid in the needle disappear into the vein in your leg and I feel you shiver and then go completely limp. The doctor waits a few seconds and checks for a heartbeat, none. He says he wants to wait a few minutes just to make sure and he and the nice lady leave us alone. I pet and rub you wondering why your rear hips gave out making it impossible for you to get around and to do what a dog has to do. In a few minutes they come back and again check for a heartbeat, none. Your gone the doctor says adding that it is always hard to let go but he says he would have done the same thing had you been his. That helps a little but not much. Thinking you are now in heaven, crossing the rainbow bridge, running and playing with your dad and brothers helps too, but again, not much.

The nice lady offers to help me put you in a bag and get you to the car and we manage to get you settled for the drive home. How can a 30 mile drive seem to take 2 hours? I get you home and back the car down around the house, I put you in the hole and then go get human mom to let her say goodby before I start to fill the hole up. Your moms are together taking a nap and both follow me outside. Human mom says goodby and dog mom watches as I start to fill up the hole I just spent several hours digging. Rain has started again and the dirt is heavier going in than it was coming out. Got the hole about 3/4 full and tired to finish but the rain forced me to stop and wait it out. Rain and darkness did not let me finish, will get it done in the morning.

First light Sunday morning, finish filling the hole with mud, will have to dress up the area when it dries out but that will have to wait.

Goodby dear friend, enjoy playing with your dad and brothers until we see you all again.

I had to let go of my yellow lab 3 years ago and this is so hard. Truly loving the dog, you know the answer. One bit of advice: be with your pup, holding them when it's over. I didn't think I could handle this but so glad I did. Your pup will know. This is coming from someone who's been in your shoes. Good luck and God bless.

I worked for a vet at $2/hour, no overtime (thanks dad) and most people don't stay with the dog, so my face was the last thing many dogs saw. I've seen it all, one guy brought in a stainless steel velvet lined coffin with a hundred screws on the lid. The screws went in slow and I heard every story he could recall about his pet. Most were half way in a bag, then went to the freezer to wait for the weekly trip to the incinerator. Before the druggies started stealing the "blue juice", it was like falling into a deep sleep. Still, our pets are treated much more humanely in the end than people (sorry dad).

When your kid arrives, you won't have time. The kid will want a pet in a few years and you'll be taking care of another dog soon enough. A twelve year old with that many problems isn't going to ever fully recover. I like Dr.Pete's method above.

A year ago last February one of our dogs who was 13 went from normal to extremely ill pretty fast. The vet said its our choice but it was time so we did it the next day. I didn't want to prolong her discomfort. The kids got to snuggle with her one last time that night, get some pics and then my wife and I took her while the kids were at school. She was pretty lethargic and just laid there during the injection. She took a final deep breath and was gone.

Our other dog who was 15 was heartbroken and crashed. Ten days later had to put her down too. The first one was hard. The second one was awful. She wasn't as lethargic but sick none the less. She took a few fast deep breathes and then a final deep one and was gone. My wife couldn't even go to the vet with me for it. It was really hard but I had to keep remembering it's wasn't about me at this point. In both cases I was holding the dog and they weren't fighting me at all.

Not gonna lie. I had to take the long way home to compose myself after the second one.

One thing that helped with the kids is we had them cremated and then buried the ashes next to two big trees side by side.

It's a hard thing but part of having a dog. We've since gotten a new puppy who just turned one and is already 110lbs.

Wow! My wife and I have faced the the same issue several times. It is not easy.

I've rescued several older German Shepherds over the years. Excellent dogs, but each were in crummy situations before I adopted them. Everyone knew that I would give them a good home and lots of land to play, hunt and simply be dogs. Unfortunately, given their health when I got them, they would live a few years...enough time to get super attached to them.

I've got a young lady who is an Aggie veterinarian in Clay County that I consider a good friend. I would set it up ahead of time and meet her at her clinic. I have the grave prepped before I take them to the vet. She would always come out to the pickup, and put them to sleep on the tailgate of my pickup. While it is tough to do, you've got to hold them when they go. You've got to tell them that you love them, and you have to look them in the eye. I pray that when I die, those dogs will be the first to greet me in another life. She and I are both bawling like babies when she gives them the shot, but there is NEVER any doubt in my mind that it was the right thing to do. To this date, she has NEVER charged me to put these old dogs to sleep.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get something out of my eye.....

I've started wrestling with this some. I have two rescue dogs, have no idea how old they are. We have had daisy (pit bull/whippet Heinz 57) for 10 years in October and Chip (huskie/German Shepard)for 8 years next week. Both were full grown when we got them. Daisy seems to be in perfect health. Chip on the other hand, he has plenty of energy for an older dog but he has a big tumor on his stomach that has been there a few years and started growing this past year and has a few small skin cancer spots on his feet and legs. He has days when he wont eat and days when we can hear his stomach kind of churning and growling from across the house coupled with insane atomic gas (this is about 2-3 times a month). But even on those days he gets up and plays with Daisy and seems relatively happy. A few months ago he had some kind of growth under his eyelid that lasted about a week and then fell off. I'm worried he is eat up with cancer inside. I want him to go out on top but don't want to do it without there being a need. If he has 2 good years left then that's great but I know once that tumor pops it will be too late. What do I do?

Yes you have to look them in the eyes and tell them you love them. They absolutely know. I'm getting kinda old and hope my kids do the same for me. Some acts live forever.

that was well written agdad -- I had to stop a couple of times and come back to make it through it here at work

I struggle with this every day as well. In fact, just had a conversation with my wife over dinner about our little dog and how much longer she has with us. She just turned 13, and for about 12 years and 11 months she was in absolute perfect health. But she developed diabetes rather quickly and has been going down hill at a steady rate since then.

I readily admit that I am not prepared. She has been with me since she was 6 weeks old, lived in 2 states and has travelled half the country with me. Luckily for me she still has a bit of life in her, though I know deep down she will not see another birthday and likely will not make it through the end of summer.

I have always liked this poem, and have read it more than once of late. I know another adventure for her is on the horizon and that she will travel where I cannot go. But good company awaits, and that is comforting.

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The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

---Unknown

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Not an easy decision, OP, but is the one thing I think our beloved pets truly ask of us.

Similar to those above, yellow lab was in perfect health for 11.75 years. In those last three months, he was diagnosed with splenic sarcoma, had a splenectomy (only because he was in exceptional condition and vet was of the opinion he would recover well), and began chemo, only to have the bottom fall out at the end.

This pup had been my keel for many years. He was my constant companion in the duck blind, he helped me through the failure of my first marriage, my relocation with my employer from Dallas to San Antonio, and finding wife 2.0. He was always there, eyes keen, ears erect, ready to go for a walk, a run, a retrieve, a nap - until he wasn't. The last week of his time on earth, he quit eating, sparingly drank water, and the last few days would manage to move from one room in the house to another only at the most urgent plea. He had become a shell of himself - especially his personality - and that was when I knew it was time. He was not arthritic, he did not have joint or musculature issues - he was just done. I have no doubt he would have willed himself to live, for me, but I could not - would not - allow him to suffer for it. I came to the heart wrenching decision on a Sunday morning, and luckily, had been visiting a vet clinic in San Antonio that was open on Sunday's. I spoke with the attending vet that day, who had also been the vet who initially diagnosed the splenic mass a few months prior. We talked for a few minutes, and scheduled his departure for the next morning.

When we arrived - Boo, my wife, and me - I asked the vet if she thought the decision was right, as so many others do. We talked again briefly about the how's and why's of arriving at that particular moment, as so many do, and decided Boo's time on earth was nearly spent. With an IV needle insertion, he was sedated, my sweet boy, and what struck me most at that moment was how heavy his dear head became as I held it while his body relaxed. She let him breathe comfortably for a few minutes, then injected him with the euthanasia solution. After checking for his pulse for a few minutes more, she pronounced him passed, and here I lay on the ground with the husk of a being I knew, admired, and loved. It looked like him, it smelled like him, the fur felt like his - but it was no longer him. He was gone from this world on to the next.

I think I was lucky in the end by the way he let me know it was time. This was the first time I had ever experienced this, and I had fretted on occasion over how he would let me know. I don't know that there is a perfect time to make the decision, but the timing in this instance saw him go out on terms that were his own, which I think was best. Any more and I think he would have suffered a great deal, which I could not dream of allowing to happen.

I can say it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I have not experienced the loss of a parent yet, blessedly, and while I have lost my grandparents, whom I loved dearly, it was different. Boo was always there, always around, always with, and then in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

I guess what I am getting at is there is no easy answer here, and it shouldn't be. But if you know your pup the way I think you do, then you'll know the time. I wish you the best with this decision and the timing of it.

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" I pray that when I die, those dogs will be the first to greet me in another life. "





Burrus86

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This is one of the toughest threads I have ever read. So sorry to all of you who have lost dogs over the years. It is obvious from your posts that your dogs were lucky to experience your companionship and care. TxAggieGirl08, I am so sorry, and I realize there is nothing I can say to make this any easier for you or take any of the pain away, I wish I could, but I am so sure that you will do the right thing and your dog will feel your love.


I have lost several dogs over the past many years, these loses were all tough, but Burrus86's words above really opened a flood of memories for me.Our last dog to go was a 10 year old rat terrier. His name was Buddy. He wasn't the brightest dog we ever had, didn't have a bag of tricks to show you, but there was something about him. One day, he and our other dog, a Jack Russell, had cornered a snake in the yard and were both bit multiple times. It was a water moccasin, and we didn't discover this until several hours later after returning home from work. We rushed them to our Vet, and he gave them his best treatment, and sent them home with us to care for. They both started feeling a little better and I thought we were going to be OK, but later that night, Buddy started really laboring with his breathing. I held him and he relaxed, but just a few minutes later, he was gone, but his pal, our Jack, survived the bites. Buddy was our son's dog, he had picked him out as a puppy and had grown up with him. We lost our son three years earlier, and now his dog. I had never wept except for those two times.

So Burrus86, I pray the same prayer as you...When I get to heaven, the first thing I hope to see is my son with Buddy in his arms along with all of our other dogs at his feet.

May God bless all of you.

Lost 3 in the last 3 years, and had to make that call on all of them. You will know when it is the right, compassionate, and kind thing to do, but you will always think also that you are being hasty or selfish, and doubt yourself. That's just the way it is. When living is miserable, painful, or difficult for them, the time may be upon you. A good vet will give you a fair assessment of future quality of life, and chances of improvement. In old age for a dog, that is unlikely. Have a good last few days. Make a couple of memories. Be with them when they go. They were there for you, it is the least you can do. The hurt will heal with time. It is OK to show emotion, after all no human is as loyal as a good dog.

After a bit of time, you'll have some nostalgic memories, crack a smile about them, and know you did the right thing giving your dog a good, full, rewarding life as long as you did.

We are going through this right now as well. In fact we had the conversation over dinner tonight. Our 8 yr old boxer has degenerative myelopathy (diagnosed in April 2015). It started with a slight dragging of her right leg, so we did the underwater treadmill until February this year (when she couldn't complete 12 minutes on the treadmill without stumbling). We did that twice a week at a cost of $40 each time. We also hired a dog walker to take her and our 5 yr old male boxer on walks twice a day. We also gave her gobs of supplements and vitamins. All in all we have been spending about $720/month since April 2015. That's not counting the $3000 for the MRI and DNA test to "confirm" the diagnosis. We also got a $400 wheelchair. This disease is not painful which is a great thing but also a very tough thing because it makes it extremely difficult to decide when the time is right. Essentially the right time is when it's too tough on the owner and that is the worst kind of decision to make. Over the past week she has gotten noticeable worse. She falls, slides, and stumbles and has not taken to the wheelchair at all. She just stands in it and won't move. We hope she will realize the stakes and be open to the cart but if not the time will come for her fairly soon. It will be a matter of weeks. We can tell her demeanor has changed to a more sullen mood in the last month but she still has sparks of excitement especially when I get home from work. She used to put her front legs on my shoulders while I kneeled to give me a hug when I got home. She hasn't be able to do that in about 3 weeks though she tries. I am confident we have done absolutely everything within our means for her but now it is up to her to decide to use the cart or not. I have a feeling she has too much pride for that though. This will be devastating for our male boxer and are trying to decide whether he should be in the room for it or not.

Lots of good advice here . Been through this too many times but here is the truth... Sooner is better than later . They are counting on you to make the decision they cannot make. Don't let them down. Best of luck.

My mom nursed along a toy Pom for several years with severe congestive heart failure. Dog suffered day and night until finally succumbing. Worst decision my mom made, IMO. That dog suffered unnecessarily because my mom didn't want to put her down. She has another, now, that can barely walk due to severe arthritis. The dog is miserable.

Thread hits close to home and more than one post made me tear up.

We have an older pup that tore her ACL last year. Took her in and it was a partial tear, vet said it might heal and gave her some good pain meds. Meds helped a lot, and she seemed to not be in too much pain. Couldn't walk very well, but that was okay. I carried her in and out twice a day to let her do her business and keep her from trying to walk too much. Wife and I debated the entire time whether or not we were doing the right thing and if we should go ahead and put her down. It was a hard couple of weeks.

She finally started doing better and was damn near moving right again and looking great, when she tore the ACL in the other leg...putting all the stress on the opposite leg causes lots of problems, and it's apparently common for dogs to tear the other one shortly after tearing the first. So back to the debate of whether we're doing the right thing, and wondering if today is going to be the day she can't get up and I have to take her in.

She's doing well now. Doesn't run like she used to, but pretty mobile for an old girl with two bum legs. Still loves checking on the garden with me, and sunbathing in the backyard. Is never happy until both me and the wife are home...doesn't matter who gets home first, she's only excited to see the second person who gets home and makes her pack complete again. I dread the day I may have to be in your shoes again, OP...deciding when to put her down.

It's hard to think about letting them go, but they can't make the decision themselves. It's our final gift to them, to make sure their departure from this world is painless and letting them know what a good dog they are.....

Saddest TA thread I've seen

Everyone who has ever had a dog has ultimately had to face this same decision. I have been there 4 times. As others have said a day to soon is better than a day too late. Be there with them, hold them at the end. I cried my eyes out each time but each time I knew it was the right choice for them.

As a vet, I would say that Dr. Pete nailed it. Far better for your beloved pet to leave a little too early than too late. Sorry you have to deal with it.