In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Joe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.. As carefully and as gently as he could, Joe worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to Joe, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Joe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with his family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.. Joe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Joe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bs stories

We need more emails like that

This reminds me of a story I read in a Texas Trophy Hunters magazine years ago. I've googled it since but can't find anything, maybe I can tap the power of texags.

It was a story about a seal that an environment group had rescued after a huge oil spill ( maybe valdez?) and used as the "face" of their clean up campaign. There was a huge celebration the day they released it to the sea, media and a huge crowd watching as it swam out to sea. Before it got out sight a killer whale came up and attacked/ate. The horrified crowd watched as the several thousand dollar face of their effort became dinner.

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

edit; snopes FTW... Like I said, I read it in a TTH magazine. I didn't even think to check snopes.

[This message has been edited by IsleAg11 (edited 1/13/2010 8:15a).]

Seen this before, but it's in the top 0.1% of stuff going around the innertron.

Nice throwback! Love this one!

http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/fakenews.asp

FWIW...

Ever read any Capstick?

One of his PH friends had a story he loved to tell to non-hunters at cocktail parties about one of his clients and how they came upon a lion in thick jungle cover.

The lion was just on the other side of a very small clearing when he and the client walked into the opening...instantly the client raised his rifle to fire and the lion leaped toward them roaring!

The client missed cleanly with both barrels of his English double but luckily the lion leaped right over the top of them, and was gone.

After a few shaky cigarettes, the client and the guide finally calmed down, but they couldnt get over how they could have missed at such close range. It really was a blow to their confidence. So, the guide had the hunter fire a few rounds into a nearby tree just to check his rifle and regain some of his composure...and it was then that they heard the lion roar again in the distance.

Working their way slowly toward him, and listening to him roar and hearing the jungle foliage thrash, they finally found the lion in a small clearing. As they watched him they realised he was practicing short jumps...

[This message has been edited by Puryear Playboy (edited 1/12/2010 9:18p).]

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.
They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.

The first hunter says “Wow, that’s some hole; I can’t even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is.”

The second hunter says” I don’t know, let’s throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”

The first hunter says “There’s this old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we’ll throw it in and see”. So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.

They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them..

As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jumped in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. “Say there”, says the farmer, “you fellers didn’t happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?”

The first hunter says ” Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin’ about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!”

The old farmer said “Why that’s impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!”

I don't get the lion hunting joke

do you know who Capstick is?

He's a renowned story teller, he's written about ten books... almost all of them are full of stories about charging lions and elephants and such. Most of the stories end with people getting pounced on and torn to pieces.

[This message has been edited by IsleAg11 (edited 1/13/2010 8:53a).]

I know who Capstick is, and have read many of his books. I just don't see why that joke is funny

Do you not get it, or do you just not think its funny?

It definitely isn't funny when you have to explain it, but it was humorous when reading it. (if you don't get it, the lion is practicing his jumps to regain confidence just like the hunters where practicing their shots after missing)

me neither. I don't get it.

oh. Ok. That's not bad. Kind of dry.

quote:

---

if you don't get it, the lion is practicing his jumps to regain confidence just like the hunters where practicing their shots after missing)

---

I don't think so ...

The joke is the lion jumped over them the first time.

They then saw him practicing short jumps ... so he wouldn't jump over them this time.

Or at least that's what I read into it.

I didn't get it at first either.

Isn't that what I said, in not so many words?

Actually without counting, it may have been about the same number of words...but yes, we're saying the same thing.

ok I get it now. Thanks

I thought you meant he was trying to build his confidence like the hunters.

You may be right.

The joke is they BOTH missed eachother, and were both practicing to make a kill next time.

Really…I think the point of the story is that the Hunter overshot the lion and the lion overshot the hunter. The hunter then practices his shot and then sees the lion practicing his pounce. It is funny because both the lion and hunter are mad for missing.

No, no, no. I don't think any of you get it, but I'm not going to explain it again, because it just won't be funny then.

http://www.pawnation.com/2009/07/30/sharks-kill-rehabilitated-dolphin/

this next one from a slightly more credible source... http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=110419&catid=8

Long stories short, the Clearwater Marine Aquarium rehabilitated a dolphin and released him to the wild. On the day of release he was attacked by a tiger shark and died. I have no idea how much money was spent with rehab on that dolphin but I couldn't help but laugh. That was one doomed dolphin.

Sean Hannity gave a lobstergram to his assistant "Flipper" who is a flaming liberal. She wanted to prove a point to him and "rescued" it by releasing it in a local pond. True story.

Reminds me of that Southpark episode where they fly the whale to the moon. Classic!

Somebody set a lobster free into a pond?

crustacean torture by osmotic shock.

you should check out the "Gunsmithing Kinks" books. they have gunsmithing stuff and jokes.

one of my favorites is from a guy in Robert Lee Texas from Gunsmithing kinks III

There was this mountain lion that was really hungry one day. he happened to hear a large bull elk calling in the distance and the lion being very hungry made his way up the mountain. the bull was larger than lion thought and after the stalk was over the lion gorged himself with bull. full to the brim the lion lets out a monstrous belch. a hunter just so happened to be in the area and after hearing the belch found the lion and shot him dead.
moral of the story: if you are full of bull keep your mouth shut.

not directed at anyone, just thought it was a good one

got that in an email this morning as I was headed to work. it lightened up my day.