HalifaxAg said:

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So I came home the other to find my nine year old looking at inappropriate YouTube videos for her age. Before I knee jerk and buy Net Nanny...is there any other good solution for blocking internet sites?

I would prefer a system that also sets time limits on certain apps and time of day access.

Any recommendations?

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Put a password on the computer that only you and your wife know, put the computer in a high traffic area. No apps needed.

getme said:

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HalifaxAg said:

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So I came home the other to find my nine year old looking at inappropriate YouTube videos for her age. Before I knee jerk and buy Net Nanny...is there any other good solution for blocking internet sites?

I would prefer a system that also sets time limits on certain apps and time of day access.

Any recommendations?

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Put a password on the computer that only you and your wife know, put the computer in a high traffic area. No apps needed.

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Technology is everywhere around these kids. If you are able to control and or eliminate all sources of technology from your 10 year olds world, you must also be secluded them from friends, and other outside sources.

I'm also a firm believer in the more you restrict, the more you ultimately pique their curiosity. As stated earlier, you've got the accidental discovery, curiosity promoted by school chatter, and those who seek this out more and more.

I remember the first time I realized my now 14 year old figured out how to create accounts on sites, as well as approval email addresses. Unsupervised technology use is a concern, but it's not the answer for long... Imho.

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active parenting is the best filter

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Yep. You have to lay down the rules and most importantly, BOTH of you stick to them. If you no longer live with the other parent you must come to some truce and agreement as far as this issue is concerned. I know first hand how inconsistant parenting is actually worse than bad (neglected would be a better word) parenting by both parents.

If you're discouraged because you see your kids influenced more by their friends and others, the secret is to not necessarily try to regain control but be consistent in the control you have. We all know that each of us has one or more habits one or both of our parents had - habits that we might have even made fun of growing up had we even noticed it. If you are firm and consistent, your kids will get the message. But there's no such thing as auto pilot.

Ok...so I discovered my just-turned-10 year old saw x rated stuff, and then revisited it a few times.

I did not have a preemptive conversation with her telling her watching sex videos was inappropriate. Don't think I know anyone who had that talk with their 9 year old. We also didn't punish or shame her afterwards. Had a level headed, rational discussion, based on guidance from online resources addressing the subject.

It was disturbing when we discovered it, I've since read that is 9-10 is average age kids first discover this. The responses to this thread corroborate that. For those who think you can exert some control to prevent it, more power to you. But I doubt the numerous people who have chimed in on this thread with similar experiences would say they were ignoring their child's behavior.

4 months ago I might have had many of the same answers I see on here...but now I know how quickly and unexpectedly things can turn.

This thread has left the Nerdery context. I will say, I'm mixed between shocked /saddened and not at all surprised by how many people have chimed in with similar stories. This is clearly a huge problem for those of us with young kids in this day and age. I appreciate this discussion...tough to talk about this with friend and family who know and interact with your kid.

Man, it certainly is strange to have a discussion about this in the Nerdery but this is the world we live in now.

I have a 7 year old who is on the verge of discovering the wonderful world of googling so I'm glad to see a thread like this. This will come in handy when I decide to start filtering what they can search, view, read, etc.

I agree that parenting is difficult when information through pictures, stories and videos is at their finger tips.

So far the internet is used for online school work practice, Nick Jr, PBS kids and stuff like that, but it's only a matter of time before they'll want to know, see or read more.

It's not like you're going to be around your kid 24 hours a day so they're going to be curious and will find a way to watch something even when you restrict it. The key for me I guess is constant communication and honesty and know that they can ask you anything at any time without repercussions about divulging forbidden actions. They're trying to navigate through their internet life and there's no right way to do this.

Of course there's such things as them accidentally stumbling onto something that they should not see and that's where this thread is a good resource.

Seriously, this thread is a little bit depressing. I have a 6 year old boy, when do I take action to lockdown the Internet in our home?

It's probably too late. I have a 2yr old and I've already locked the world down on our router. My wife is pretty pissed she can't get to Facebook without MAC approval though.

Kidding aside, I think it's a blend of the two things: communication and preventative restrictions. Talk to your child about the scary things in this world and block out what you can to limit those experiences.

As someone who is young enough to have had internet access during formative years, I can assure you that's still possible to become a well-adjusted member of society despite all the weird crap on the internet. In fact, your children may eventually become better than you at filtering out some of the nonsense out there.

CJS4715 said:

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Seriously, this thread is a little bit depressing. I have a 6 year old boy, when do I take action to lockdown the Internet in our home?

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I think that's a great question....

In hind sight...here is what I will tell you I would do differently.

• First, until you are ready to address the inevitable things they will be introduced to, internet access is only allowed in a common area where you can reasonable see what they are doing.
• Second, be aware of friends/neighbors that are a bit older than your kid (that was a big contributing factor to my situation).
• Third, change settings on sites like YouTube to kids mode or to block explicit content (this is unreliable though).
• Finally, use things from this thread, like Circle and OpenDNS settings or block sites on the router. Bottom line, your kids can't unsee what they've seen, so you have to take reasonable steps to block it if you aren't prepared to take that next step in the wonderful parenting journey!

You think it's depressing reading about our experiences...try actually going through it!

Another great question, imo...at what point do you lift these restrictions and let the real world make a run at them? Kind of like that first time you decided to let your kids ride their bike around the corner out of sight to play on the playground.

Computer or ipad? If on Ipad/Iphone look up kidslox app... you put it on the device and can shut off everything down to certain apps, movies based on rating, time limits per day, scheduled times the ipad apps are available, restrictions on time limits, etc. The other thing I like about Kidslox is that you can turn it off at any point.. so there are times the son won't get off his iPad when asked and so we'll just shut it off and all the apps disappear!