https://thebatt.com/opinion/satire-reveille-executes-professor/?fbclid=IwdGRleAOhsEtleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEeX7WLQB0QIYFik-fFVoeZYoDUP8uiTfWWXm8YDnyAgjSKkzGgr6Xsj3oEojA_aem_-STXp17045MwATjd9nJfRQ

"It's important to note that many former students are now calling on Reveille to step down from her position as A&M's premier laser-eyed executor, calling her an "outdated DEI hire." This is because Reveille is a disabled female who is taking this position away from dogs who are just as qualified to silence free speech on campus"

Just when it seemed the Batt had hit rock bottom...

Now they're blown up the rock and are going even lower.

And yes, it is labeled as "satire" but it isn't funny because most likely the writer is a full on supporter of DEI.

I thought "cattle communications" and "forest psychology" were pretty good.

Yet another example of "the left cant meme".

It's wild that someone not only thought that was funny in their head, they actually put it into print.

Is this a Babylon Bee style article?

If it makes you feel any better, the Daily Texan was, and still is, I am sure, a complete POS leftist rag. I think across the country when you are trying to get hired on as a freshman for your college rag, you have to promise that no matter how bad the paper was previously, if you get hired on, you will make that a false bottom, and you will take the paper further down the toilet. Everybody I know called it the Daily Toxin.

Dems: "DEI isn't about lowering standards to meet racial quotas with less qualified applicants!"

Normal Sane Human Being: "Ok, then explain medical school acceptance scores by race"

Dem: ……

Dem: …………

Dem: "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Reveille has become so elitist. Some Ag suggested a collie as mascot and we've had an inbred ever since. We should go back to a mutt.

Sounds like whoever is writing at The Battalion are DEI hires. Moronic.

8 billion things to write about…..and this jackhole chooses Miss Rev

That isn't even funny. It is 4th grade level snark at best. Makes sense, liberals are children.

It's embarrassingly awful. Do those dip****s get paid?

they prefixed the title with "satire" to make sure no one takes it seriously.

Glad to see the Batt is just as ******ed as it was when I started A&M 35 years ago.

Rapier108 said:

---

Just when it seemed the Batt had hit rock bottom...

Now they're blown up the rock and are going even lower.

And yes, it is labeled as "satire" but it isn't funny because most likely the writer is a full on supporter of DEI.

---

I lived next door to a couple of Batt writers back in the 80's, who were somewhat left, but had a keen since of humor that tilted very 'right'. They were pretty good. They made humor out of both sides but were pretty based in reality. That made the Batt fun to pick up at the stand and read on the shuttle bus home. Got to razz them around the porch and they took it well. Good times and conversation. I sincerely hope that those times are not gone. Actually had wings and beer with one of them a couple years after school when we ran across each other in the Arlington area. Differing political views, but similar humor in the fault of both sides, and the common interest in wings and beer.

Rapier108 said:

---

Just when it seemed the Batt had hit rock bottom...

Now they're blown up the rock and are going even lower.

And yes, it is labeled as "satire" but it isn't funny because most likely the writer is a full on supporter of DEI.

---

The key for satire to work is it has to be funny and or clever. This is neither.

The Batt: "What we todd did thing can we post that will not be funny at all, but will piss off as many people as possible?"

Also the Batt: "Why does everybody want to take our University funding away?"

Just another example of why you should not smoke weed and write a satire.

LOL... he had to alert everyone his satire was satire...

"Wyatt Pickering is a business honors and finance junior from Normangee, TX. He joined The Battalion in February 2025 and is currently an opinion columnist. He loves slaying the day and sharing his thoughts on current events around the Texas A&M campus."

Lmao

stetson said:

---

Reveille has become so elitist. Some Ag suggested a collie as mascot and we've had an inbred ever since. We should go back to a mutt.

---

We could go back to a black rescue and watch their mental gymnastics....

Imagine being so delicate you're triggered by the Batt of all things. Good grief.

I know it's an unpopular opinion here, but the anti-woke, anti-DEI sphere is rife with opportunities for satire. This is just not a very good attempt at it.

FlyRod said:

---

Imagine being so delicate you're triggered by the Batt of all things. Good grief.

---

It's Flyrod!

The only person I saw triggered was a reslib, but it appears that post was nuked.

I actually agree with the article unironically. A pure-bred collie is an objectively terrible mascot. Go back to mutts.

FlyRod said:

---

Imagine being so delicate you're triggered by the Batt of all things. Good grief.

---

Who is triggered by that sophomoric drivel? It's flat stupid.

techno-ag said:

---

FlyRod said:

---

Imagine being so delicate you're triggered by the Batt of all things. Good grief.

---

It's Flyrod!

The only person I saw triggered was a reslib, but it appears that post was nuked.

---

You mean the one where I rightfully called out Ags for making fun of a fellow Ag solely based on his looks? Yeah, I stand by that.

HalifaxAg said:

---

stetson said:

---

Reveille has become so elitist. Some Ag suggested a collie as mascot and we've had an inbred ever since. We should go back to a mutt.

---

We could go back to a black rescue and watch their mental gymnastics....

---

You mean some poor dog who got abandoned by its father?

I admit it's clever, even though the premise is false.

BenFiasco14 said:

---

I admit it's clever, even though the premise is false.

---

In no way is the below clever. It's pathetic:

Quote:

---

In a shocking turn of events, beloved mascot and First Lady of Aggieland Reveille X executed a cattle communication professor during a lecture where diversity in cattle herds was discussed.
In a statement made by current Reveille handler Cory Cordet, "I think it was a shock to all of us when Reveille blew up my cattle comms professor. At least we don't have to take that exam next Monday."
After blowing up the professor, Reveille went on her usual walk around campus and barked at any squirrels in her presence.

This action comes months after Senate Bill 1012 also known as the "Make Reveille Robotic Again" bill came into effect. This bill forced Reveille to undergo augmentative surgery; she had a laser eye installed that immediately silences any person in academic spaces who discusses topics unapproved by the Board of Regents. The banned topics include discussions of DEI, gender, empathy or "being a nice person."

---

The left used to be the kings of political satire. Now it's just sad.

TexasAggiesWin said:

---

It's wild that someone not only thought that was funny in their head, they actually put it into print.

---

I mean, it DID get us laughing

And the thread ends not with a bang but a whimper.

The only way I can give 2 stars.

I love the Batt. I have a huge stack of them at my cabin I use to light fires in the heat stove. They burn great!