Ok, not actually good, but mating with short people is better for the planet than having tall kids.

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Altman's solution?

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When you mate with shorter people, you're potentially saving the planet by shrinking the needs of subsequent generations. Lowering the height minimum for prospective partners on your dating profile is a step toward a greener planet.

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Yep, there's another box to check off in your search for that perfect partner: the shorter, the better. According to Altman:

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Short people don't just save resources, but as resources become scarcer because of the earth's growing population and global warming, they may also be best suited for long-term survival (and not just because more of us will be able to jam into spaceships when we are forced off this planet we wrecked).

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Uh-huh, not insane in the least.
Finally, Altman's vision of the perfect future is almost as nutty as her view of the present:

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The future I envision is different: I want my children's children to know the value of short. I want them to call themselves "short drinks of water" with "legs for minutes." While one yells, "I'm the shortest," I hope the other will bend his knees to gain an advantage, shouting, "No, I'm the shortest!"

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We're obviously going to need to redesign grocery stores in the future, gang. We're either going to need shorter shelves or perhaps…

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As someone who is a bit 'vertically challenged' I guess I should let the leftists who read this forum know 'you're welcome.'

However, I try to maximize my carbon footprint as I am much more concerned about a future ice age impacting my progeny down the road than any fictional warming threat. But I don't have enough arrogance to think I make an iota of difference.

Can we get a reading on most absurd article written in years? Who green-lit that being published. JFC.

Good; 60 years from now you'll be able to spot the Betas even more clearly cause they'll be a foot shorter than everyone else

Did the article mention the NBA?

Libs brave new world-ing themselves into being the Gammas and Deltas

Sweet can I sell short inches to tall people now to offset their carbon footprint?

It's like reparations as short people clothes cost as much as tall people clothes. I need my reparations for subsidizing the clothing of tall people for decades.

Did I do it right?

It does beg the question a bit; how about reparations from tall people?

You know what's not good for the environment? Dumping billions of disposable surgical masks onto the oceans.

And it takes way less word salad and bull**** to realize this.

Mara Altman, a relatively new graduate of the Jon Stewart school of communication.

"If you think I'm right, then I was being serious; if you think I'm wrong, then I was just making a joke because I'm a comedian."

This sounds like a woman who is rationalizing her relationship with a really short dude.

I absolutely think that women should seek out shorter men. There are so many benefits that there are too many to even list. The more attractive the women, the better, as well. As someone who is 5'6", I can attest to the multitude of benefits that everyone in the world has received by women seeking me out, and would recommend it highly.