Muy said:

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Knowing a couple of people who suffered most of their adult lives battling depression and bipolarism, I don't agree with this thought process.

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Suicide is an impulsive act, in most cases.

Despite living in a world where we can be 'connected' to each other more easily than any time in human history, so many people feel isolated.

So sorry that this young woman felt so alone and helpless in this moment in her life that this is the choice that she made.

PlaneCrashGuy said:

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Suicide is a cowardly act.

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Sorry, it's not. You should read about it. Perhaps, it will enlighten your opinion.

Muy said:

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PlaneCrashGuy said:

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Suicide is a cowardly act.

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Knowing a couple of people who suffered most of their adult lives battling depression and bipolarism, I don't agree with this thought process.

The person who is in financial or legal trouble that does it, yes. But the person who just can't take the suffering of the roller coaster they go through, it's much much deeper and sadder than merely being "selfish".

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Why is selfish in quotes?

Eso si, Que es said:

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Guilty or not, receiving a notice of disciplinary hearing should not be enough to kill yourself. However, people in general have not had to face the consequences of their actions recently and sadly someone thought being dead was better than being investigated.

I believe if this person was held accountable throughout their lives, this would have turned out differently. But the parents are blaming Stanford for this, so they obviously blame others and probably never held their daughter accountable for much of anything.

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Given that "disciplinary hearings" now are more often than not fait accompli kangaroo courts, she likely thought that her time at Stanford was over, or at the very least her athletic career (which may have involved paying for her schooling).

Going to Stanford is a "write your own ticket" kind of school, and getting kicked out only to wind up at Giant State University and lose all of the privileges that come with a Stanford education would likely be devastating, particularly to someone that knows nothing of the real world.

What happened is a girl with mental health issues killer herself, Stanford had nothing to do with it.

"Throwing a drink at someone is assault" - low T society.

YokelRidesAgain said:

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Some of you may remember this story from earlier this year. The goalkeeper for the Stanford women's soccer team, Katie Meyer, committed suicide shortly after receiving a letter regarding a disciplinary hearing from the University.

Her parents have now filed a wrongful death suit against Stanford.

It has now come out that the incident that sparked all this is that she "spilled coffee" on a football player who had previously been accused of sexually assaulting one of her teammates. She was on a bicycle at the time of the alleged accident.

I'm going to go ahead and assume, for the purposes of argument, that the football player in question did what he was accused of doing (obviously I don't know that, but this is putting her actions in the best possible light).

Seems to me that what happened here is that she committed a vigilante act in retaliation. If she dumped an iced latte down the front of the alleged rapist's pants, that's assault. If she threw a cup of scalding hot coffee on top of him, that's potentially a felony.

Regardless, and I feel like the grinch of the world for saying this, seems like what happened here is that Katie had to face the natural consequences of her actions and chose to kill herself instead of doing so. I think that Stanford should tell her grieving parents to pound sand.

But anyway, I come to F16 for reasonable and informed takes, so am I the a-hole here?

https://www.espn.com/college-sports/story/_/id/35098221/katie-meyer-family-files-wrongful-death-suit-stanford

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what is important to realize, although the media won't ever explain this:

Meyer was not some 17 year old scared freshman who missed mommy

she was already or nearly 22 and a SENIOR and I think even a Captain on a national championship team. she was applying and likely to be accepted to LAW SCHOOL.

this isnt' a kid who the mean white admins at Stanford drove to kill herself- she committed a violent act, was made aware that the University knew about it and was investigating it.

IT WAS HER DECISION TO KILL HERSELF rather than just deal with life.

no one else forced her to do anything. If it's Stanfords fault- why isn't it HER FAMIILY's fault as they spoke to her the night she offed herself?

The Debt said:

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"Throwing a drink at someone is assault" - low T society.

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What if the drink was a coke and victim was wearing a new shirt from Banana Republic?

TX AG 88 said:

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DallasAg 94 said:

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So, let me understand.

Football player is accused of sexually assaulting a soccer player.
Football player remains on the team and continues to participate while "investigation" ensues.

Soccer player gets frustrated by the inaction of the school/team and retaliates by dumping coffee on the player.
Soccer player gets sanctioned/disciplined by HER team while nothing happens to the guy accused of sexual assault.

Soccer player is basically threatened to be kicked off the team and out of school... panics and commits suicide.

Football player continues to be on the team undisciplined?

IIRC, Demas was kicked out of school and off the team for basically what transpired, changing Soccer with Softball.

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Your own post contains the key to why nothing is out of line here.

Dude is ACCUSED. If guilty, there's still the opportunity for him to suffer consequences. But there's a process.

I don't think anyone, even her family, is claiming that she DIDN'T dump the coffee on him. She got her process, and it resulted in consequences.

Where's the outrage? It's a shame she committed suicide, but she didn't have to do that, NOR did she have to dump the coffee on him. Two poor choices in succession, which aren't at all the fault of the school.

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actually I don't have a problem with her dumping coffee on the guy

but then be prepared for the consequences of your adult behavior

obviously, she was a very troubled person who could not deal with real life

bonfarr said:

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What happened is a girl with mental health issues killer herself, Stanford had nothing to do with it.

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Either the parents are hoping to force Stanford to settle our of court, or they're banking on the picture of a dead college kid pulling at the heart strings of a jury. Kind of gross to see someone trying to grab a quick buck off the death of their kid.

Politics?

YokelRidesAgain said:

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Some of you may remember this story from earlier this year. The goalkeeper for the Stanford women's soccer team, Katie Meyer, committed suicide shortly after receiving a letter regarding a disciplinary hearing from the University.

Her parents have now filed a wrongful death suit against Stanford.

It has now come out that the incident that sparked all this is that she "spilled coffee" on a football player who had previously been accused of sexually assaulting one of her teammates. She was on a bicycle at the time of the alleged accident.

I'm going to go ahead and assume, for the purposes of argument, that the football player in question did what he was accused of doing (obviously I don't know that, but this is putting her actions in the best possible light).

Seems to me that what happened here is that she committed a vigilante act in retaliation. If she dumped an iced latte down the front of the alleged rapist's pants, that's assault. If she threw a cup of scalding hot coffee on top of him, that's potentially a felony.

Regardless, and I feel like the grinch of the world for saying this, seems like what happened here is that Katie had to face the natural consequences of her actions and chose to kill herself instead of doing so. I think that Stanford should tell her grieving parents to pound sand.

But anyway, I come to F16 for reasonable and informed takes, so am I the a-hole here?

https://www.espn.com/college-sports/story/_/id/35098221/katie-meyer-family-files-wrongful-death-suit-stanford

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Also it is slightly concerning that the statement says that her suicide was completed without planning. She also had had a recent knee surgery so she probably had access to opiates. Is it possible that she took a large amount in response to stress trying to relieve it without the intention of killing herself? It could have been an accidental OD.

aggrad02 said:

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Also it is slightly concerning that the statement says that her suicide was completed without planning. She also had had a recent knee surgery so she probably had access to opiates. Is it possible that she took a large amount in response to stress trying to relieve it without the intention of killing herself? It could have been an accidental OD.

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ME would be very unlikely to sign out an overdose death as a suicide without some evidence of intent. "Undetermined" would be possible if there was no history of opiate abuse and a possible stressor.

Most likely she left a note of some sort (or the cause of death was different).

The disciplinary actions this player was facing did not cause this girl to take her on life.

Sadly, she was probably suffering from a plethora of mental health issues and this was merely the straw that broke the camel backs. Given, what was most likely an already damaged psyche, if it wasn't the disciplinary actions that caused her to commit suicide it would have been something else that triggered her actions. Something as mundane as a bad grade, speeding ticket, fight wit a friend, etc easily could have set her down that path.

Stanford is merely going to be the fall guy for this.

What a sad sequence of bizarre overreactions. Unless the coffee scorched my nuts or this was just the latest in a series of harassing events I can't imagine contacting disciplinary boards or authorities. Likewise, threatening to throw her out over a once off event like this, killing herself over a pending disciplinary hearing, and trying to blame the school for a clearly unpredictable suicide are also ridiculous.

I was on a flight where a careless stewardess tried to serve steaming hot coffee during turbulence and dumped an entire cup down down my back. It was unpleasant and a nasty surprise (she was serving the row behind me so I went from reading a book to ahhh WTF is burning my back in 1 second), but I was fine in 2 minutes and the burns were gone in a day. Definitely doesn't justify throwing somebody out of school or cutting her from the team.

YokelRidesAgain said:

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aggrad02 said:

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Also it is slightly concerning that the statement says that her suicide was completed without planning. She also had had a recent knee surgery so she probably had access to opiates. Is it possible that she took a large amount in response to stress trying to relieve it without the intention of killing herself? It could have been an accidental OD.

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ME would be very unlikely to sign out an overdose death as a suicide without some evidence of intent. "Undetermined" would be possible if there was no history of opiate abuse and a possible stressor.

Most likely she left a note of some sort (or the cause of death was different).

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Thanks for clarification!!

The girl probably thought that she, being a woman, can do whatever she wanted without consequences since most universities take the woman's side, right or wrong however, in some universities, their is something called due process and when she received the letter, ended herself.

Stanford did nothing wrong.

Quit getting into b******* no matter what the penalty or suspension by Stanford or even a letter that's no reason to take your life

And suing for it is absolutely insane.

But we are in California the leftist state and the Union along with the Massachusetts and Vermonts
And We are dealing with extremely liberal lawyers

"Spilled?" Riiiiiiight.

She made a series of bad choices. Case should be thrown out with prejudice.

DallasAg 94 said:

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So, let me understand.

Football player is accused of sexually assaulting a soccer player.
Football player remains on the team and continues to participate while "investigation" ensues.

Soccer player gets frustrated by the inaction of the school/team and retaliates by dumping coffee on the player.
Soccer player gets sanctioned/disciplined by HER team while nothing happens to the guy accused of sexual assault.

Soccer player is basically threatened to be kicked off the team and out of school... panics and commits suicide.

Football player continues to be on the team undisciplined?

IIRC, Demas was kicked out of school and off the team for basically what transpired, changing Soccer with Softball.

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It's called due process for a reason. The fact that there was no real consequence for the football player tells you there was likely no evidence.

As a father of both sons and daughters, I cannot justify punishing the boy just because a girl accused him of something with no evidence. Sometimes girls lie.


The fact that her friend felt the need to throw coffee on him means she willingly accepted the consequences. She lucky the football player didn't also sue her.

The fact that she later killer herself just shows you what a series of terrible choices she made. Stanford has no liability here other than accepting a bad decision maker.

Did the trash take itself out?