The other half looks and me and says-- "we kind if have to go... we both started watching as teenagers.... we need to finish this up..."

Of course this was AFTER I told her there's no way on God's blue earth I'm going to go see, what I knew would be, a crap ending to a once (30 years ago) good movie.


So, there we were-- sitting in the freaking theater..... damn near midnight.....



SPOILER ALERT




Stop reading now if you don't want to know.



You've been warned.



Art mirrors life. Right?


So the movie opens in West Texas. A family of migrant Latinos own a farm-- and something is killing it.

Fast forward 2 minutes and we find out a plague is spreading across the globe. Plague. And this plague is going to destroy infrastructure and the food supply and people are going to starve and die.
This plague, as it turns out, was developed in a LAB halfway around the world by a bunch of Asian scientists that were monkeying with DNA and genetics of ......... dinosaurs.

They created this plague and along side it, developed a variant crop that would survive the plague-- but you could only buy the "cure" from them.....


One thing leads to another and the plague hops continents and now the whole world is infected and and errrrrrrbody is gonna die.

Of course, climate change is (at first) the blame for this plague (pushed by the company that created it..).

But fear not-- the day will be saved by the original cast of Jurassic Park as well as Star Lord and Ron Howard's ginger daughter, along with a female, black lesbian pilot (who has a thing for red heads) and a genetically altered 14 year old who can talk to a baby Raptor..

Honest to God the movie was like watching something filmed inside an ACTUAL Disney theme park ride. Ever go to Universal Studios and see Jaws pop out of the water at you? That's what this was like, but with dinos.

I award them 1 chuckle star. Because that's the total amount of laughs I had during the movie. When the movie ended, the stranger sitting to my right stood up, looked at his date and said "we should have gone dancing" to the girl.

Would not repeat.

How obvious was the pilot?

Quote:

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A passing comment may refer to same-sex attraction.

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https://www.pluggedin.com/movie-reviews/jurassic-world-dominion-2022/

This post is so incredibly sad. The movie wasn't great but it was a fun ride and it was nice to see the OG folks.

Clob94 said:

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But fear not-- the day will be saved by the original cast of Jurassic Park as well as Star Lord

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It was nothing more than a bad movie.

Why anyone continues to watch these movies is beyond me. They're more formulaic and predictable than marvel movies, and that's saying something.

Sounds like they stole the idea from Justin Cronin's book The Passage and modified it a bit.

You should have just seen Top Gun again

If only every single person who had seen the movie warned you that it was terrible

No Spin Ag said:

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Why anyone continues to watch these movies is beyond me. They're more formulaic and predictable than marvel movies, and that's saying something.

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Sure, but who doesn't enjoy dinosaur on dinosaur violence?

I keep hoping Sam O'Neill whips out some Damien Thorn evilness.

Well, since i was expecting a bunch of naked gay dinosaurs with appropriate racial tones in heels and lingerie teaching sex ed to 5 year olds, sounds like a nice wholesome kids movie.

I didn't read the spoilers, but based on the title, I'm going to assume that "dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the earth"

I skipped the spoilers. Is there any way you can explain what the wokism is without spoiling the movie? If not that's fine.

TexAgs91 said:

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I skipped the spoilers. Is there any way you can explain what the wokism is without spoiling the movie? If not that's fine.

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I didn't see a lot of LGBTQ wokeism in it, but it did have an anti-Monsanto theme to it. Irony is that they also tout genetic engineering to cure diseases.

Cold-blooded lizards frolicking in the snow was where they lost me, though (not a spoiler. That is in the trailer). I can stretch my imagination, but that was a bit much.

Burdizzo said:

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TexAgs91 said:

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I skipped the spoilers. Is there any way you can explain what the wokism is without spoiling the movie? If not that's fine.

---

I didn't see a lot of LGBTQ wokeism in it, but it did have an anti-Monsanto theme to it. Irony is that they also tout genetic engineering to cure diseases.

Cold-blooded lizards frolicking in the snow was where they lost me, though (not a spoiler. That is in the trailer). I can stretch my imagination, but that was a bit much.

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Thanks, and yeah they get a bit ridiculous on lizard super powers.

Burdizzo said:

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TexAgs91 said:

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I skipped the spoilers. Is there any way you can explain what the wokism is without spoiling the movie? If not that's fine.

---

I didn't see a lot of LGBTQ wokeism in it, but it did have an anti-Monsanto theme to it. Irony is that they also tout genetic engineering to cure diseases.

Cold-blooded lizards frolicking in the snow was where they lost me, though (not a spoiler. That is in the trailer). I can stretch my imagination, but that was a bit much.

---

That was the part that was too much for you? The movie was crap but dinos in the snow probably was a real thing. There is more and more evidence that a lot of dinosaurs were actually warm blooded.

It wasn't a woke movie. It was just a bad lazy movie. The bad guy was a giant corporation, like a 1000 other movies. There was one line by the pilot where she said she had a thing for redheads. She didn't say it was for girls or guys, and even if it was girls, lesbians do exist. And yeah a couple of the new characters were POC. Who cares. Pretty much all the main characters of the last 5 movies were white.
Stop looking for crap to get offended over. You sound exactly like every liberal screaming RRRREEEEEEEE.

Burdizzo said:

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I keep hoping Sam O'Neill whips out some Damien Thorn evilness.

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They wouldn't pay the licensing fee. Sorry.

So they are softening the public for whats about to happen IRL.

Great.

It followed the same theme as all the rest of the Jurassic movies:
- capitalism / massive corporation = looking like they're aiming for good but also have some hidden projects with nefariousness; big business as villain
- you can't control wild animals. They're going to follow their nature, which is usually depicted as eating things
- it has the classic movie trope of the McGuffin, something that everyone is chasing after, just like almost every other action movie from the Maltese Falcon to Indiana Jones
- there's gonna be a big carnivore who's gonna end up eating someone and chasing the protagonists


It's not fine dining with a chef crafted daily menu, it's like sitting down at a chain restaurant. You have a good idea of what's going to go on, but you still enjoy it if you come in with that attitude. And, you have to know that with several original actors returning, there's going to be call backs to the original film.

I enjoyed it, coming in with the expectation that it's going to be a typical action movie. More importantly my kids (15 and 13) loved it.

ill probably download it and skim through to the action parts. the nerd in me just wants to see whats going on with that big ass swimming dino in the open ocean

Burdizzo said:

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I keep hoping Sam O'Neill whips out some Damien Thorn evilness.

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Clob94 said:

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The other half looks and me and says-- "we kind if have to go... we both started watching as teenagers.... we need to finish this up..."

Of course this was AFTER I told her there's no way on God's blue earth I'm going to go see, what I knew would be, a crap ending to a once (30 years ago) good movie.


So, there we were-- sitting in the freaking theater..... damn near midnight.....

---

Spoiler Alert - OP is P-whipped.

Hollywood will use this as their spring board to reboot....

YellowPot_97 said:

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Burdizzo said:

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TexAgs91 said:

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I skipped the spoilers. Is there any way you can explain what the wokism is without spoiling the movie? If not that's fine.

---

I didn't see a lot of LGBTQ wokeism in it, but it did have an anti-Monsanto theme to it. Irony is that they also tout genetic engineering to cure diseases.

Cold-blooded lizards frolicking in the snow was where they lost me, though (not a spoiler. That is in the trailer). I can stretch my imagination, but that was a bit much.

---

That was the part that was too much for you? The movie was crap but dinos in the snow probably was a real thing. There is more and more evidence that a lot of dinosaurs were actually warm blooded.

---

Hell... The original Jurassic Park set the precedence that dinos were warm blooded... so that kind of dictates that its ok for the entire film franchise universe.

Some people just look to hate and be angry.
I never gave two thoughts to any of that.
Imagine being upset that a Latino would own something.

BCR said:

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Some people just look to hate and be angry.
I never gave two thoughts to any of that.
Imagine being upset that a Latino would own something.

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And with that statement, you just outed yourself as a racist.

Pointing out that there was a Latino farmer in West Texas isn't "being upset".

But the mere fact thst you projected that onto my statement, proves who you are deep down inside. Thanks for stopping by.

Brad06ag said:

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YellowPot_97 said:

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Burdizzo said:

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TexAgs91 said:

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I skipped the spoilers. Is there any way you can explain what the wokism is without spoiling the movie? If not that's fine.

---

I didn't see a lot of LGBTQ wokeism in it, but it did have an anti-Monsanto theme to it. Irony is that they also tout genetic engineering to cure diseases.

Cold-blooded lizards frolicking in the snow was where they lost me, though (not a spoiler. That is in the trailer). I can stretch my imagination, but that was a bit much.

---

That was the part that was too much for you? The movie was crap but dinos in the snow probably was a real thing. There is more and more evidence that a lot of dinosaurs were actually warm blooded.

---

Hell... The original Jurassic Park set the precedence that dinos were warm blooded... so that kind of dictates that its ok for the entire film franchise universe.

---

So in a film series about ancient dinosaur DNA being flawlessly merged with frog and lizard DNA to create modern dinosaurs. Then used in a theme park that ends up getting everyone killed. THEN being allowed to reopen years later to the public, which results in everyone getting killed with minimal government intervention.

All of those things are acceptable plot points.

But NO WAY IN HELL can the dinosaurs play in snow.

Clob94 said:

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BCR said:

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Some people just look to hate and be angry.
I never gave two thoughts to any of that.
Imagine being upset that a Latino would own something.

---

And with that statement, you just outed yourself as a racist.

Pointing out that there was a Latino farmer in West Texas isn't "being upset".

But the mete fact thst you projected that onto my statement, proves who you are deep down inside. Thanks for stopping by.

---

Jurassic Park - exposing secret racists since 2022.

aggiesed8r said:

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It was nothing more than a bad movie.

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Jurassic Park (1993) and Jurassic World (the first one) are the only movies in this franchise worth watching.

I will say this: I pointed out some things I thought were inconsistencies and non-sequitor, but my 12.y.o. loved it and we had a great time. I was completely entertained with what it was - a dinosaur action flick.

Yes, they bust on evil corporate America with a CEO that is a cross between a Bond villain and Steve Jobs, but it was still a fun movie.