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Now let's take your personal example and try and apply logic to it. You and most you know are sheltering in place and you therefore think that is saving you and others. Where do you get your groceries, your essentials? What about the people that work at these places you think are essential to you and others? Do you think their lives are less important? The measures you're taking when you go there do help protect them to a small extent but make no mistake, they are still being exposed to thousands of you. We surely are seeing a large, disproportionate number of cases and deaths among these workers. We're not, why? They've taken measures to protect their employees but you're foolish if you think they are not being exposed to this virus exponentially higher than you.
I'm not going to respond to your entire long post, but I will bite on this.
1. I have utmost respect for grocery store employees and thank them for what they are doing every time I am there. I also wear a mask when I go to protect them and other customers. My wife and I also limit our trips to essential items only. I refuse to walk into Walmart to shop for plants and televisions right now.
2. The measures I take described in (1), plus the 150 fewer people that I am exposed to now, limit the risk as much as possible for grocery store employees. If I am average, then their risk is thousands of times lower than it would be if we just "opened up" without mitigation.
3. People would begin dropping dead by the millions next week if we closed grocery stores and other sources of food, so I don't really get what you're driving at with all this. Our options are (1) mitigation, essential businesses open so people don't starve, or (2) no mitigation, all businesses open. I'm guessing the average grocery store employee is very much FOR #1 since they've got to clock in either way.
And please don't accuse me of dabbling in intellectual dishonesty. Just because we disagree doesn't mean that I am merely trying to entertain myself.