*****Official Funny Political Tweet Thread*****

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nortex97
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Demosthenes81
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Demosthenes81
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Not to forget the military industrial complex
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aggiedata
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annie88
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In reply to MostlyHarmless • 11:58a, 6/1/24
AG
MostlyHarmless said:
nortex97 said:


You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.


In the bad times and sad times too.
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annie88
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Doesn't say you can't put the snail in a cage.
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annie88
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No people with TDS aren't deranged at all.

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annie88
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FrioAg 00
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In reply to annie88 • 12:44p, 6/1/24
AG
annie88 said:
Doesn't say you can't put the snail in a cage.


A snail traveled one mile in 33 hours.

So I take 1/3 of the $10m, buy a nice luxurious beach houses in Australia and live there for 4 years (with only a few trips back per year), landing the snail hopelessly 1k miles into the ocean.

Then I lease the beach house out for rental revenue, and move back home to Texas. I use the interest off the other 2/3 of the 10m plus the lease revenue to travel all over the world - using Texas as home base. But I spend 50% home, 50% all over the world.

The snail essentially runs around in a circle in the middle of the ocean - never closer than a few years away from me.
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oh no
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In reply to FrioAg 00 • 12:55p, 6/1/24
AG
But wait, what if this is the snail?

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TRADUCTOR
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In reply to FrioAg 00 • 1:03p, 6/1/24
FrioAg 00 said:
annie88 said:
Doesn't say you can't put the snail in a cage.


A snail traveled one mile in 33 hours.

So I take 1/3 of the $10m, buy a nice luxurious beach houses in Australia and live there for 4 years (with only a few trips back per year), landing the snail hopelessly 1k miles into the ocean.

Then I lease the beach house out for rental revenue, and move back home to Texas. I use the interest off the other 2/3 of the 10m plus the lease revenue to travel all over the world - using Texas as home base. But I spend 50% home, 50% all over the world.

The snail essentially runs around in a circle in the middle of the ocean - never closer than a few years away from me.


Just step on it with thick soled boot.
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mooney69
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In reply to TRADUCTOR • 1:56p, 6/1/24
AG
TRADUCTOR said:
FrioAg 00 said:
annie88 said:
Doesn't say you can't put the snail in a cage.


A snail traveled one mile in 33 hours.

So I take 1/3 of the $10m, buy a nice luxurious beach houses in Australia and live there for 4 years (with only a few trips back per year), landing the snail hopelessly 1k miles into the ocean.

Then I lease the beach house out for rental revenue, and move back home to Texas. I use the interest off the other 2/3 of the 10m plus the lease revenue to travel all over the world - using Texas as home base. But I spend 50% home, 50% all over the world.

The snail essentially runs around in a circle in the middle of the ocean - never closer than a few years away from me.


Just step on it with thick soled boot.

Put salt on it
Mooney69
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Aggie12B
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annie88
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In reply to TRADUCTOR • 2:25p, 6/1/24
AG
TRADUCTOR said:
FrioAg 00 said:
annie88 said:
Doesn't say you can't put the snail in a cage.


A snail traveled one mile in 33 hours.

So I take 1/3 of the $10m, buy a nice luxurious beach houses in Australia and live there for 4 years (with only a few trips back per year), landing the snail hopelessly 1k miles into the ocean.

Then I lease the beach house out for rental revenue, and move back home to Texas. I use the interest off the other 2/3 of the 10m plus the lease revenue to travel all over the world - using Texas as home base. But I spend 50% home, 50% all over the world.

The snail essentially runs around in a circle in the middle of the ocean - never closer than a few years away from me.


Just step on it with thick soled boot.
The snail cannot be killed.
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aggiebird02
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3:28p, 6/1/24
Does the snail die when you die, or does the snail live on for eternity? Or does the snail live out a natural life and death after you die?

I understand it's not necessarily pertinent to the question, but I'd like some more information about this snail…
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Twisted Helix
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TRADUCTOR
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In reply to annie88 • 4:14p, 6/1/24
annie88 said:
TRADUCTOR said:
FrioAg 00 said:
annie88 said:
Doesn't say you can't put the snail in a cage.


A snail traveled one mile in 33 hours.

So I take 1/3 of the $10m, buy a nice luxurious beach houses in Australia and live there for 4 years (with only a few trips back per year), landing the snail hopelessly 1k miles into the ocean.

Then I lease the beach house out for rental revenue, and move back home to Texas. I use the interest off the other 2/3 of the 10m plus the lease revenue to travel all over the world - using Texas as home base. But I spend 50% home, 50% all over the world.

The snail essentially runs around in a circle in the middle of the ocean - never closer than a few years away from me.


Just step on it with thick soled boot.
The snail cannot be killed.


Yes it can.
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Rongagin71
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In reply to annie88 • 4:14p, 6/1/24
AG
My biggest worry would be that someone that hates me
(ridiculous, I'm universally loved) gets control of the snail.
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Whoop Delecto
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In reply to mooney69 • 4:43p, 6/1/24
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mooney69 said:
TRADUCTOR said:



Just step on it with thick soled boot.

Put salt on it
That's Felony A-salt
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Jason C.
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In reply to FrioAg 00 • 4:55p, 6/1/24
AG
FrioAg 00 said:
annie88 said:
Doesn't say you can't put the snail in a cage.


A snail traveled one mile in 33 hours.

So I take 1/3 of the $10m, buy a nice luxurious beach houses in Australia and live there for 4 years (with only a few trips back per year), landing the snail hopelessly 1k miles into the ocean.

Then I lease the beach house out for rental revenue, and move back home to Texas. I use the interest off the other 2/3 of the 10m plus the lease revenue to travel all over the world - using Texas as home base. But I spend 50% home, 50% all over the world.

The snail essentially runs around in a circle in the middle of the ocean - never closer than a few years away from me.


I'd hole up in one of those Polish salt mines where they've carved palaces underground.
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Twisted Helix
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4:56p, 6/1/24
Not really political, but definitely Alabama.
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IIIHorn
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In reply to TRADUCTOR • 5:31p, 6/1/24
TRADUCTOR said:
annie88 said:
TRADUCTOR said:
FrioAg 00 said:
annie88 said:
Doesn't say you can't put the snail in a cage.


A snail traveled one mile in 33 hours.

So I take 1/3 of the $10m, buy a nice luxurious beach houses in Australia and live there for 4 years (with only a few trips back per year), landing the snail hopelessly 1k miles into the ocean.

Then I lease the beach house out for rental revenue, and move back home to Texas. I use the interest off the other 2/3 of the 10m plus the lease revenue to travel all over the world - using Texas as home base. But I spend 50% home, 50% all over the world.

The snail essentially runs around in a circle in the middle of the ocean - never closer than a few years away from me.


Just step on it with thick soled boot.
The snail cannot be killed.


Yes it can.



Escargone?





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Ag83
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IIIHorn
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Snail riding on a turtle's back:

"Woah! Slow down! What is this? Six Flags?!


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Ag83
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LOYAL AG
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In reply to Ag83 • 6:07p, 6/1/24
AG
Ag83 said:


Cheaper than a helicopter.
A fearful society is a compliant society. That's why Democrats and criminals prefer their victims to be unarmed. Gun Control is not about guns, it's about control.
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IIIHorn
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In reply to LOYAL AG • 6:11p, 6/1/24
LOYAL AG said:
Ag83 said:


Cheaper than a helicopter.



Helicopter parents.



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Ag83
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ME92
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In reply to LOYAL AG • 6:29p, 6/1/24
AG
LOYAL AG said:
Ag83 said:


Cheaper than a helicopter.


Environmentally friendly as well.
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LOYAL AG
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In reply to ME92 • 6:41p, 6/1/24
AG
ME92 said:
LOYAL AG said:
Ag83 said:


Cheaper than a helicopter.


Environmentally friendly as well.


True because tiger farts are much better than cow farts.
A fearful society is a compliant society. That's why Democrats and criminals prefer their victims to be unarmed. Gun Control is not about guns, it's about control.
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aggiebird02
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In reply to LOYAL AG • 6:52p, 6/1/24
Dogs fart a lot, but cats don't fart unless there is something wrong with them.

I saw my cat fart once. He was sleeping, farted, jumped up and turned around to see what just tickled his butthole. Confused, he looked around seeing nothing and no one near him and then curled up and went back to sleep.

That's a true story, you can print it if you like…
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peacedude
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In reply to aggiebird02 • 6:56p, 6/1/24
AG
aggiephoenix02 said:
Dogs fart a lot, but cats don't fart unless there is something wrong with them.

I saw my cat fart once. He was sleeping, farted, jumped up and turned around to see what just tickled his butthole. Confused, he looked around seeing nothing and no one near him and then curled up and went back to sleep.

That's a true story, you can print it if you like…
The funniest farts sound like a cat's meow & that's probably what woke your cat up.
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