Elderly Woman Escapes Nursing Home, Rants About Deprogramming The Populace https://t.co/gOiZtAzyKx pic.twitter.com/FkKlleH0jJ

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) October 6, 2023

White House Claims $6 Billion To Iran Absolutely Not Related To The Exactly $6 Billion Worth Of Rockets Being Fired Into Israel

WASHINGTON, D.C. Forced into playing defense following the deadly attacks perpetrated by Hamas, the White House aggressively denied the $6 billion it sent to Iran had anything at all to do with the $6 billion worth of rockets launched into Israel.
"Two completely unrelated amounts of money," said Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre. "While it may be tempting to believe these wild, unsubstantiated conspiracies that we are somehow financing these attacks, the fact is it is entirely coincidental that Hamas fired exactly $6 billion in rockets at Israel immediately after we sent $6 billion to the Iranian government. Those are just two random numbers that just happen to be exactly the same."
Following the Biden administration's controversial decision to send Iran $6 billion as part of a prisoner swap, terrorist organization Hamas launched a large-scale, multi-pronged attack on both Israeli military locations and the civilian population. With the attacks later revealed to have been approved and assisted by Iran, fair-minded people around the world speculated the two situations may, in fact, be related. "Coincidence? No way," said skeptical American Dr. Nate Thomas. "They need to just admit that they screwed up and paid for a horrifically deadly terrorist attack. Denying it just makes them look silly. But that's a trademark characteristic of the Biden presidency, I guess."
At publishing time, sources within the White House were also forced to deny the receipt of a thoughtful "Thank You" card from Hamas for the generous gift had anything at all to do with taxpayer money being used to purchase weapons used to murder women and children.

Courtesy of The Babylon Bee

captkirk said:

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That's one of the things that amazes me about all this. How dumb do you have to be to launch an attack against the people who provide your food, water, and electricity? Oh, and of course George is an idiot, too.

Not sure if serious

captkirk said:

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More likely it was the haircut…

This is essentially my mantra. pic.twitter.com/exGyW4jzxl

— Sebastian Bae (@SebastianBae) October 11, 2023

Just found out old timey bars used to have a urinal trough and you could just whip it out and pee while you drink. The world used to be great before women ruined it pic.twitter.com/Da190EvqAx

— Foxford Comics (@FoxfordComics) October 11, 2023

Yes, it's bizarre to hear Biden talking about Junk Fees during a war, but if ANYBODY knows about bullshit costs, it's the dude who sent $6 billion to IRAN.

— Jimmy Failla (@jimmyfailla) October 11, 2023

I'd fire (or more importantly never hire) anyone who talked with that cadence. He's so convinced of his own intelligence that he can't get enough of smelling his own farts.

Just saw an ad for the Army featuring a white guy, it’s over bro we are going to war

— Alaric The Barbarian (@0xAlaric) October 11, 2023

I am old enough to get that one. And they do look like Rose, Dorothy, iffy on Blanche but solid on Sophia.

Palestinian Flag Outside Rashida Tlaib's Office Seen Throwing Pride Flag Off The Roof https://t.co/L0vr5PHlGf pic.twitter.com/ms6AYcnofh

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) October 12, 2023

ravingfans said:

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That was golden.