Exclusive: Babylon Bee Uncovers Why F-35 So Hard To Find

CHARLESTON, SC In a Babylon Bee exclusive, new evidence has been obtained that provides further insight as to how an F-35 fighter jet could disappear and remain missing until its wreckage was discovered. New images reveal the plane was outfitted with the latest stealth technology, including a pair of thick-framed glasses and comedically large, prosthetic nose.
"This is state-of-the-art military gear," said Department of Defense spokesperson John Kirby. "As soon as we heard the aircraft was missing, we knew it would be a big challenge to find it, considering the intricate stealth components deployed with it. With the glasses-and-nose concealment measures, it was far worse than looking for a needle in a haystack."
The Pentagon was left scrambling to provide answers after the media and public learned of the mishap, with many people wondering how the military could "misplace" an advanced fighter jet worth nearly $100 million. "It's not like losing your car keys," said frustrated citizen Zach Lewis. "It's a frickin' fighter jet. Advanced military weaponry. Don't they at least have GPS or LoJack or something? C'mon, Pentagon."
Following the incident, defense officials were attempting to cover up the leak of highly classified details of the Air Force's stealth technology. "This could be disastrous for national security," one high-placed source disclosed. "Now that our enemies are aware that we hide our aircraft with giant glasses and funny fake noses, they'll be able to spot them immediately."
At publishing time, the Pentagon was reportedly considering switching to a new stealth tactic involving dressing aircraft up with robes, turbans, and fake beards like arab sheiks.

Courtesy of The Babylon Bee

pic.twitter.com/VYxkUC8DDJ

— non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder) September 21, 2023

Aggie12B said:

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Wait a minute. That's only breakfast.

Give me another one for lunch and then for dinner.

Slappy74 said:

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OBEY

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WOW that was crazy. I read your response and I still couldn't see it. I had the picture blown up on my laptop screen trying to read signs in the background. Then my dog barked at the backdoor to get in so I got up to open the door and sat my laptop down with the screen propped up. I turned around from the backdoor to looking at my laptop from across the room and it said OBEY in big black letters. I was like WTF just happened in the screen? Then I as walked closer it was just the people standing beside each other. You definitely have to be standing back to get the full effect. It's like those computer generated mess of a picture that were popular in the late 80's early 90's where you had to get your eyes to go out of focus to see what the picture was.

oh no said:

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Fans dressed for a baseball game, 1950s; Senator dressed for work, 2023... pic.twitter.com/YNx9VGdIq6

— Carol Roth (@caroljsroth) September 18, 2023

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Haven't looked but suspect someone will say it's because it was cooler back in the 50s, you know because of global warming and all.

Struggling CNN Just Starts Stealing Headlines From The Babylon Bee https://t.co/VCjFw5nP7v pic.twitter.com/uinwzGAgSX

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) September 16, 2023