Biden Comforts 9/11 Victims By Telling About The Time He Was Playing Jenga And His Tower Fell Down

ANCHORAGE, AK With Americans across the country remembering the tragic events of September 11, 2001, President Joe Biden offered the victims' families comfort by telling them about the time he watched in horror as his Jenga tower fell right before his eyes.
"9/11 was an unspeakable tragedy, and not only because my son died in the towers," Biden said. "I've been in the same situation myself. For me, it was the time I was playing Jenga with Hunter. We were celebrating a sweet deal we had just closed with a company owned by some Chinamen. It was my turn. The tower was in rough shape, but I thought I could still make my move. I poked around and there weren't any loose pieces left. None. So I found one I thought I could get out. I gave a…I gave it…I gave the…the…the thing there…a good pull. And it just all came down. Right there. All I could do was watch. I watched the tower fall. Sad day, folks."
Surviving loved ones of people who lost their lives on 9/11 seemed unmoved by the president's remarks. "Did he seriously just say that?" asked one young man who never knew his own father due to being an infant the day the World Trade Center towers fell. "I could be mistaken, but I don't think anyone died after losing a game of Jenga."
At publishing time, Biden was preparing a statement of condolences to families whose loved ones died in the crash of United Flight 93 by telling them about the time he lost his Chapstick in a field in rural Pennsylvania.

Courtesy of The Babylon Bee

Kamala Harris Arrives At Ground Zero To Give Speech About January 6

NEW YORK, NY As the nation paused to remember the devastating attacks that took place on September 11, 2001, Vice President Kamala Harris arrived at the former site of the World Trade Center towers to mark the occasion by giving a speech about the Capitol riots on January 6, 2021.
"This is an important day," Harris said at the ceremony held at Ground Zero. "It is a Monday, which is the day before Tuesday, and it was a Tuesday on which something happened that changed the lives of every American. It was a day almost as bad as January 6, 2021, which was the most horrible day in the history of our nation, which is America."
Then, standing at the spot where thousands of people lost their lives, the Vice President provided a detailed retelling of the events of January 6th, including holding a moment of silence for all the members of Congress who were completely fine and didn't die that day. "We must never forget that day," Harris concluded. "And by remembering this day, we can also remember that day, and by remembering, we will never forget that which must never be forgotten."
The Vice President then laid the blame for 9/11 squarely at the feet of former President Donald Trump, who at the time was just a prominent New York businessman and real estate developer.
At publishing time, Vice President Harris was last seen privately letting out all the pent-up laughter she desperately held at bay while giving her solemn remarks.

Courtesy of The Babylon Bee

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— I,Hypocrite (@lporiginalg) September 12, 2023

🤔 pic.twitter.com/uf3jjgnunC

— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) September 11, 2023

They grow up so fast 🥲 pic.twitter.com/cCOLoDzf6w

— Mostly Peaceful Memes (@MostlyPeacefull) September 12, 2023

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— Women Posting L’s (@WomenPostingLs) September 11, 2023

Rednecks Dress Up As Taliban So Biden Will Give Them Billions Of Dollars In Firearms https://t.co/rk2JV7Sav9 pic.twitter.com/54LXzkJrm2

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) September 12, 2023

oh no said:

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— I,Hypocrite (@lporiginalg) September 12, 2023

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A stat I heard from a climatologist recently.

Quote:

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Fire has always been a part of California's natural history. But several centuries of human settlement have created new conditions that promote its spread. Studies have shown human ignition is to blame for 84% of all wildfires in the United States, and 97% of all those that threaten homes.

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https://www.science.org/content/article/human-sparked-wildfires-are-more-destructive-those-caused-nature

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— Sal the Agorist (@SallyMayweather) September 12, 2023

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— aka (@akafacehots) September 12, 2023

oh no said:

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— Women Posting L’s (@WomenPostingLs) September 11, 2023

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This kind of hero we needed.

Looks way happier in 2nd picture... i wonder why.

captkirk said:

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Her username

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— Declaration of Memes (@LibertyCappy) September 13, 2023

Do you see it? pic.twitter.com/f9HdjUQQL6

— non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder) September 13, 2023

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— Sal the Agorist (@SallyMayweather) September 13, 2023

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— Sal the Agorist (@SallyMayweather) September 13, 2023

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— internet hall of fame (@InternetH0F) September 13, 2023