Saw this posted as a reply to all the Netflix black-washing.
We live on a tax farm as free range humans.
*****Official Funny Political Tweet Thread*****
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Last: 26 min ago by Ag83
This has to be Mike Tyson’s Tesla 😂 pic.twitter.com/SNwU6t9UZa
— Emily (@Emme0703) April 14, 2023
— NautPoso 🇮🇪☘️ (@NautPoso) April 12, 2023
A+ troll
As a 3rd grade teacher, I often talk about Jesus with my students, they are so excited to hear about my faith. They point to the cross on wall and ask me about the resurrection.
— Carpe Donktum🔹 (@CarpeDonktum) April 13, 2023
Some have gotten baptized in the sink, as long as they don’t tell their parents. It’s our secret.
— Perpetuities (@perpetuities) April 14, 2023
Budweiser Replaces Clydesdales With Cows Dressed As Horses https://t.co/90rPsJ9Ek7
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) April 15, 2023
— فُلَانْ بِنْ عَلَّاْنْ (@Matador_X6) April 14, 2023
Good morning pic.twitter.com/92kYtwk3PX
— Journalists Posting Their Ls (@JournosPostLs) April 15, 2023
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan
Parents Just Relieved Teen Who Came Home Drunk Wasn't Drinking Bud Light
NEW BRITAIN, PA Local parents Tim and Julia Yoder were understandably upset when their 17-year-old daughter Carlie came home drunk last weekend. However, their anger quickly turned to relief upon learning that Carlie had not, in fact, been consuming Bud Light.
"I mean, we were certainly disappointed that she was drinking while underage," her father Tim noted. "But at the same time, we're glad that she was responsible enough to choose a less-woke brand of alcohol."
Carlie's mother Julia said they tried hard to raise their daughter right and instill her with strong values. "I'm not proud of this, but both Carlie's father and I experimented with Bud Light when we were younger," Julia said. "I'm very proud that we raised our daughter to make better life choices and avoid some of the mistakes we made in the past."
For her part, Carlie said the temptation to drink woke beer was definitely there. "Some of the kids had Bud Light at the party. Someone even brought some of those commemorative Dylan Mulvaney cans," she said. "But I knew deep down that was wrong, so I just pounded a 12-pack of Yuengling and called it a night."
At publishing time, the Yoders announced they would be surprising young Carlie with a new car as a gift for her responsible behavior. "We really couldn't be more proud of her," his mother said. "She's a really good kid."
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
NEW BRITAIN, PA Local parents Tim and Julia Yoder were understandably upset when their 17-year-old daughter Carlie came home drunk last weekend. However, their anger quickly turned to relief upon learning that Carlie had not, in fact, been consuming Bud Light.
"I mean, we were certainly disappointed that she was drinking while underage," her father Tim noted. "But at the same time, we're glad that she was responsible enough to choose a less-woke brand of alcohol."
Carlie's mother Julia said they tried hard to raise their daughter right and instill her with strong values. "I'm not proud of this, but both Carlie's father and I experimented with Bud Light when we were younger," Julia said. "I'm very proud that we raised our daughter to make better life choices and avoid some of the mistakes we made in the past."
For her part, Carlie said the temptation to drink woke beer was definitely there. "Some of the kids had Bud Light at the party. Someone even brought some of those commemorative Dylan Mulvaney cans," she said. "But I knew deep down that was wrong, so I just pounded a 12-pack of Yuengling and called it a night."
At publishing time, the Yoders announced they would be surprising young Carlie with a new car as a gift for her responsible behavior. "We really couldn't be more proud of her," his mother said. "She's a really good kid."
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
Drunk Irishmen Say They Understood Biden's Dublin Speech Perfectly
DUBLIN Despite claims from conservative media pundits that President Joe Biden's tour of Ireland was a disaster due to several verbal gaffes and nonsensical statements, a group of intoxicated Irishmen released a statement saying they were able to understand every word of what Biden said.
"That Biden fella sure can spin a good yarn, don't ya know?" said Seamus O'Reardon after finishing his seventh pint of Guinness before lunch. "I know he catches a lot of flack for not bein' able t'speak clearly and all, but I've never heard such perfect pronunciation of our old traditional Connacht Irish dialect. T'was just the way me dear old mother would speak when she was three sheets t' the wind every marnin'!"
Critics of the Biden administration were calling the trip an embarrassment after the President had confused New Zealand's "All Blacks" rugby team with the "Black and Tans," a brutal British police force deployed against Irish rebels in the 1920s. This was followed by Biden saying he was never going to leave Ireland, a pledge millions of American citizens wished would be true. All speeches given in Ireland by Biden, though thoroughly unintelligible to English speakers, were clearly heard by O'Reardon and his fellow drunk Irishmen.
"Gifted orator, the man is," said Paddy Devitt. "Understood every word of it, I did. He told a beautiful story of his childhood in Ireland, with his good friend Corned Beef Pop."
At publishing time, while on his way back to the United States, Biden was overheard asking aides aboard Air Force One why he hadn't met any leprechauns trying to hide bowls of Lucky Charms from children as he expected.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
DUBLIN Despite claims from conservative media pundits that President Joe Biden's tour of Ireland was a disaster due to several verbal gaffes and nonsensical statements, a group of intoxicated Irishmen released a statement saying they were able to understand every word of what Biden said.
"That Biden fella sure can spin a good yarn, don't ya know?" said Seamus O'Reardon after finishing his seventh pint of Guinness before lunch. "I know he catches a lot of flack for not bein' able t'speak clearly and all, but I've never heard such perfect pronunciation of our old traditional Connacht Irish dialect. T'was just the way me dear old mother would speak when she was three sheets t' the wind every marnin'!"
Critics of the Biden administration were calling the trip an embarrassment after the President had confused New Zealand's "All Blacks" rugby team with the "Black and Tans," a brutal British police force deployed against Irish rebels in the 1920s. This was followed by Biden saying he was never going to leave Ireland, a pledge millions of American citizens wished would be true. All speeches given in Ireland by Biden, though thoroughly unintelligible to English speakers, were clearly heard by O'Reardon and his fellow drunk Irishmen.
"Gifted orator, the man is," said Paddy Devitt. "Understood every word of it, I did. He told a beautiful story of his childhood in Ireland, with his good friend Corned Beef Pop."
At publishing time, while on his way back to the United States, Biden was overheard asking aides aboard Air Force One why he hadn't met any leprechauns trying to hide bowls of Lucky Charms from children as he expected.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
— The Right To Bear Memes (@grandoldmemes) April 15, 2023
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
Funny but still modern TVs are amazing
I LOL'd...
We live on a tax farm as free range humans.
"Columbia?" https://t.co/Ka22H0M1sR pic.twitter.com/axRL0CfkxI
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) April 15, 2023
Please, tell your friends. Many evidently do not know this. @davidhogg111 pic.twitter.com/l4ryAOgoIn
— T (@Rifleman4WVU) April 14, 2023
— Declaration of Memes (@LibertyCappy) April 15, 2023
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
"ROGER - OUT"
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buzzardb267 said:
Seriously, though. Put Riley Gaines on a beer can right now and see what happens to sales.
Pete Buttigieg tells Al Sharpton that minorities are more likely to die in car crashes for a variety of reasons including:
— Citizen Free Press (@CitizenFreePres) April 16, 2023
"The way roads are designed and built." pic.twitter.com/9ADW5IFFti
Pete Buttigieg says traffic fatalities in the U.S. are on "a level that is comparable to gun violence" because of "a lot of reasons related to discrimination" pic.twitter.com/BebyoNoYgU
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) April 16, 2023
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
— Declaration of Memes (@LibertyCappy) April 16, 2023
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan
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