*****Official Funny Political Tweet Thread*****

10,797,512 Views | 85759 Replies | Last: 41 min ago by Funky Winkerbean
Aggie12B
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:47a, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
18
Aggie12B
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:48a, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
21
Aggie12B
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:53a, 9/21/22
AG
Border Town Puts Up 'Martha's Vineyard' Sign In Hopes Government Will Come Pick Up All Their Illegal Immigrants

DEL RIO, TX Impressed by the efficiency of Martha's Vineyard in expelling their migrants in less than 48 hours, several border towns in Texas have begun adopting best practices from the affluent Massachusetts island. One prominent change that Del Rio has already made is replacing their "Welcome To Del Rio" sign with a "Welcome To Martha's Vineyard" sign so that migrants will know that there are not enough resources, they are not wanted, and they need to leave immediately.
"We've never seen anything like it the Martha's Vineyard team had the migrants gone in 48 hours flat! We haven't ever been able to put up numbers like that, so we're taking a page out of their playbook." Del Rio resident Dee Porter spoke to reporters about the "Unwelcome Committee" that the town has formed to study the methods used at Martha's Vineyard for migrant removal.
While Del Rio's new Unwelcome Committee has implemented some more creative methods for making the migrants feel unwelcome, they confirmed that adding the "Welcome to Martha's Vineyard" sign was priority number one, since Martha's Vineyard was the original inspiration for forming the committee and remains the "gold standard" for speedy migrant removal. Del Rio has already started playing the song "Closing Time" on the town's PA system as well and placed orders for flashing neon signs that say "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" in the "arrivals" section of the airport.
Other border towns have taken similar approaches, with Rio Grande City also taking a page out of the Martha's Vineyard playbook by calling in the national guard to remove the migrants. The national guard responded in record time when they saw the "Welcome to Martha's Vineyard" sign and thought that a Democratic vacation town was being inundated rather than "the usual flyover state that can probably handle it anyway."
At publishing time, the Justice Department has launched an investigation of the border towns that have begun using the methods that Martha's Vineyard used to remove their migrants since those methods are only supposed to be for rich white Democratic strongholds.

Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
Reply Quote
25
1 edit
ProgN
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:56a, 9/21/22
Reply Quote
21
ProgN
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:59a, 9/21/22
Reply Quote
26
ProgN
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:00a, 9/21/22

Reply Quote
16
1 edit
BQ_90
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to ProgN • 10:00a, 9/21/22
AG
ProgN said:
covid definitely seeks out the weak minded
Reply Quote
19
ProgN
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:02a, 9/21/22
Reply Quote
18
Aggie12B
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
10:18a, 9/21/22
AG
AOC Tearfully Recounts How DeSantis Yanked Her From Her Venezuelan Home And Human Trafficked Her To Martha's Vineyard Where She Died

MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA. Critics of Governor Ron DeSantis are outraged at yet another death that has allegedly occurred thanks to his political exploits. U.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tearfully recounted how the Florida governor yanked her from her Venezuelan home and human-trafficked her to Martha's Vineyard, where she died.
Following her martyrdom, Ocasio-Cortez expressed hopes that Taylor Swift sing at her funeral.
After DeSantis recklessly shuttled .0001% of the nation's illegal immigrants to a couple of posh, liberal towns, Democratic lawmakers vowed to investigate whether any laws were broken. After finding no laws broken, the lawmakers then proposed a bill specifically aimed at preventing the use of immigrants as political pawns, appropriately named The Inflation Even More Reduction Act.
"This wasn't the first time I was human-trafficked and killed against my will," said Rep. Ocasio-Cortez from the steps of the City Hall in Martha's Vineyard, while soldiers escorted other Venezuelan immigrants out of the sanctuary city. "And so help me, if it means saving just one child from dying in one of Ron DeSantis' human trafficking airplanes, it won't be the last!"
Following the somber funeral service, the body of Ocasio-Cortez will be returned to her homeland where it will be fed to starving Venezuelans.

Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
Reply Quote
26
1 edit
HtownAg92
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to ProgN • 10:24a, 9/21/22
AG
ProgN said:
This used to be an old golf joke about slow players on the tour:

"He's so slow it takes him an hour and half to watch 60 Minutes".
Reply Quote
8
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:34p, 9/21/22
AG
Andrew Tate didn't kill himself...

Reply Quote
8
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:35p, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
18
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:36p, 9/21/22
AG
The real 'true north, strong and free!'

Reply Quote
24
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:38p, 9/21/22
AG
My thoughts as well watching commercial breaks during Aggie football games. Only time I watch cable these days!

Reply Quote
17
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:38p, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
21
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:39p, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
23
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:40p, 9/21/22
AG
Cult...

Reply Quote
19
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:41p, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
23
ThunderFighter06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
12:41p, 9/21/22
AG
And finally...

Reply Quote
23
MostlyHarmless
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to ProgN • 1:09p, 9/21/22
AG
ProgN said:
Funny thing is that as I was scrolling down the page and only saw the top part of the image I knew immediately what the bottom part of the image was going to be.
Reply Quote
17
Uncle Howdy
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:28p, 9/21/22
S
Reply Quote
21
Biz Ag
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:06p, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
20
Biz Ag
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:10p, 9/21/22
AG
Soon.

Reply Quote
10
justcallmeharry
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:21p, 9/21/22
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted. Just the way it is!!
Reply Quote
21
justcallmeharry
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:23p, 9/21/22
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted. Just the way it is!!
Reply Quote
9
justcallmeharry
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:26p, 9/21/22
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted. Just the way it is!!
Reply Quote
7
richardag
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to annie88 • 2:30p, 9/21/22
annie88 said:
We all do.

He's not dumber, but sure seems after hearing her talk she seems dumber.
Among the latter, under pretence of governing they have divided their nations into two classes, wolves and sheep.โ€
Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Edward Carrington, January 16, 1787
Reply Quote
2
Bondag
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to justcallmeharry • 2:59p, 9/21/22
AG
justcallmeharry said:
Whose life is at risk? The immigrants he flew to Florida in the dark of night, or the millionaire in Martha's Vineyard that has illegals at their doorstep?
Reply Quote
9
Get Off My Lawn
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to justcallmeharry • 5:03p, 9/21/22
justcallmeharry said:
And here I thought it was just the vegan men who were interested in "eating meat."
Reply Quote
5
Tanya 93
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:39p, 9/21/22
HoustonAg2106
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to ThunderFighter06 • 6:38p, 9/21/22
AG
ThunderFighter06 said:


Reply Quote
16
1 edit
Squadron7
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to ThunderFighter06 • 7:06p, 9/21/22
AG
ThunderFighter06 said:

I saw the photos.

It's making it awfully easy for the wringer.
Reply Quote
4
Demosthenes81
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:30p, 9/21/22
AG

Seven and three are ten, not only now, but forever. There has never been a time when seven and three were not ten, nor will there ever be a time when they are not ten. Therefore, I have said that the truth of number is incorruptible and common to all who think. โ€” St. Augustine
Reply Quote
12
captkirk
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:34p, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
13
captkirk
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
9:35p, 9/21/22
AG
Reply Quote
13
First Page Last Page
Page 1300 of 2451 ▼
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.