Gamers Eagerly Await The Release Of 'Call Of Duty: IRS Auditor'

BREAKING: Garland confirms FBI raided Mar-a-Lago to find George W. Bush's weapons of mass destruction.

— U.S. Ministry of Truth (@USMiniTru) August 12, 2022

pic.twitter.com/he7XYnjpJl

— john (@johnhackerla) August 11, 2022

By Monday, the New York Times will be running a story about how Trump had the Ark of the Covenant

— Dan Gainor (@dangainor) August 12, 2022

While Trump was hijacking The Beast, strangling his secret service agent, plotting to overthrow the US government, and shattering plates at the White House, he was also secretly copying nuclear documents to store in a safe at his house in Florida.

That’s their narrative.

— Daniel Bostic (@debostic) August 12, 2022

BREAKING: President Biden and his family were booed when arriving in South Carolina for vacation -Newsmax

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

— Art TakingBack 🇺🇸 (@ArtValley818_) August 12, 2022

So let me get this straight. They're going with "Trump stole nuclear weapon secrets because he's an evil dictator who wants to take over the world?" LMAO.

— thebradfordfile (@thebradfordfile) August 12, 2022

aggie93 said:

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BREAKING: Garland confirms FBI raided Mar-a-Lago to find George W. Bush's weapons of mass destruction.

— U.S. Ministry of Truth (@USMiniTru) August 12, 2022

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This response made me giggle.

All they found was Melania's "wardrobe of mass seduction".

— JMD (@Huma_Non) August 12, 2022

pic.twitter.com/4MArluty9G

— Boston Aggie (@JimboFknFisher) August 12, 2022

Always good advice... [warning: NSFW language]

Happy Shut The Fuck Up Friday pic.twitter.com/ajdsEZ62Hj

— Lawyer Cat* (@LawyerCat_) October 29, 2021

OH NO!!! THEY RELEASED THE VIDEO!!!😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/DJf9eY3yhn

— il Donaldo Trumpo (@PapiTrumpo) August 12, 2022

The CDC Discovers Natural Immunity

'The FBI Raid On Melania's Closet Was Justified,' Says Merrick Garland Wearing Gorgeous New Evening Gown And Sun Hat

WASHINGTON, D.C. With many Americans up in arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure everyone the raid was completely justified. Eyewitnesses noted he looked unusually fetching in an elegant Dolce & Gabbana evening gown and a Dior sun hat.
"We wouldn't raid Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate or Melania's wardrobe unless it was absolutely, 100% necessary," said Garland. "I resent any accusation that this raid was influenced by partisan politics or my insatiable desire to wear pretty designer dresses." The Attorney General then did a little spin in his purple gown as the press gasped with delight.

FBI Director Christopher Wray echoed the statement as he strode up to the Hoover Building in a dazzling pair of diamond-encrusted Alexander McQueen stilettos. "The men and women of the FBI are paragons of unassailable integrity and impartiality, and any suggestion otherwise is murderous treason," he said. Several news outlets present also noted the delicious smell of Chanel No.5 in the air.
At publishing time, Trump took to Truth Social to announce that all his golf clubs were also missing.

Courtesy of The Babylon Bee