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4D Chess: Biden Offers The Palestinians $100 Million In Exchange For None Of The Hostages
TEL AVIV In a stunning move sure to be taught at universities in politics and diplomacy classes for generations to come, President Joe Biden has brokered a deal to send $100 million of U.S. taxpayer money to the Palestinian Authority in exchange for none of the hostages currently being held by Hamas.
"Here's the deal," Biden mumbled to the gathered media. "Nobody's ever done anything like this. We're going to send 100 million…billion trillion…100 thousand…all of the…the…100 million dollars to…to the…to the folks that…those folks there. Philistines. Planetfiends. Palestines. Palestinians. And in return, I have asked for none of the people being held hostage by Hamas to be released. I worked hard on this deal and held firm until they agreed to take it. I showed them who's boss. Marginzarfinabit…"
The deal, which was quickly agreed to by the Palestinian Authority, is believed to provide much-needed humanitarian relief to the Palestinian people by funding the purchase and assembly of more rockets, bombs, and small arms. "Our people are starving and thirsty," said Palestinian Authority spokesman Omar Hassan Bakalakadaka. "This influx of funding from the United States will go a long way toward paying for further violent acts to be perpetrated against Israeli civilians. Thank you, President Biden, and death to Israel."
Biden has promised the Palestinians he will authorize another $100 million after the first $100 million is spent, in exchange for nothing whatsoever.
At publishing time, the White House stressed that the administration was more than willing to take the Palestinian Authority at its word that none of the $100 million would be used for all of the things the Palestinian Authority always uses money for, such as weapons and horrific acts of terrorism.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
TEL AVIV In a stunning move sure to be taught at universities in politics and diplomacy classes for generations to come, President Joe Biden has brokered a deal to send $100 million of U.S. taxpayer money to the Palestinian Authority in exchange for none of the hostages currently being held by Hamas.
"Here's the deal," Biden mumbled to the gathered media. "Nobody's ever done anything like this. We're going to send 100 million…billion trillion…100 thousand…all of the…the…100 million dollars to…to the…to the folks that…those folks there. Philistines. Planetfiends. Palestines. Palestinians. And in return, I have asked for none of the people being held hostage by Hamas to be released. I worked hard on this deal and held firm until they agreed to take it. I showed them who's boss. Marginzarfinabit…"
The deal, which was quickly agreed to by the Palestinian Authority, is believed to provide much-needed humanitarian relief to the Palestinian people by funding the purchase and assembly of more rockets, bombs, and small arms. "Our people are starving and thirsty," said Palestinian Authority spokesman Omar Hassan Bakalakadaka. "This influx of funding from the United States will go a long way toward paying for further violent acts to be perpetrated against Israeli civilians. Thank you, President Biden, and death to Israel."
Biden has promised the Palestinians he will authorize another $100 million after the first $100 million is spent, in exchange for nothing whatsoever.
At publishing time, the White House stressed that the administration was more than willing to take the Palestinian Authority at its word that none of the $100 million would be used for all of the things the Palestinian Authority always uses money for, such as weapons and horrific acts of terrorism.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
Biden Announces He Has Secured Pinky Promise From Hamas Not To Use $100 Million For Terrorism
WASHINGTON, D.C. After authorizing $100 million dollars for humanitarian aid in Gaza, President Biden assured Israel and other allies that he has received a pinky promise from Hamas that they won't use the money for terrorism.
"That's the strongest promise there is," Biden reminded reporters who questioned him on the matter. "They even put sugar on top and said 'Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.' There is no stronger guarantee that this money will be put to good use helping innocent Palestinians instead of making homemade rockets to murder people with. It's all ok, folks!"
Biden then tripped on a nearby sandbag and broke 23 bones, forcing him to call a lid for the day.
"We thank The Great Satan for this gift of millions of American dollars," said Hamas spokesperson Muhammad Muhammad Al Muhammad. "We will get right to work buying, um, bandaids, and water, um, and whatever else our people need to stay alive, even though we all want to die as martyrs for Allah while killing Jews. We definitely won't buy $100 million worth of rockets. No way. Pinky promise."
At publishing time, sources had confirmed another $100 million worth of rockets were traveling toward Tel Aviv.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C. After authorizing $100 million dollars for humanitarian aid in Gaza, President Biden assured Israel and other allies that he has received a pinky promise from Hamas that they won't use the money for terrorism.
"That's the strongest promise there is," Biden reminded reporters who questioned him on the matter. "They even put sugar on top and said 'Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.' There is no stronger guarantee that this money will be put to good use helping innocent Palestinians instead of making homemade rockets to murder people with. It's all ok, folks!"
Biden then tripped on a nearby sandbag and broke 23 bones, forcing him to call a lid for the day.
"We thank The Great Satan for this gift of millions of American dollars," said Hamas spokesperson Muhammad Muhammad Al Muhammad. "We will get right to work buying, um, bandaids, and water, um, and whatever else our people need to stay alive, even though we all want to die as martyrs for Allah while killing Jews. We definitely won't buy $100 million worth of rockets. No way. Pinky promise."
At publishing time, sources had confirmed another $100 million worth of rockets were traveling toward Tel Aviv.
Courtesy of The Babylon Bee
Where are the shoplifters? pic.twitter.com/W7Bttgaaae
— @amuse (@amuse) October 20, 2023
🚨 Breaking: @elonmusk removed New York Times' verification badge, following a flood of false information it published on the Israel-Gaza war 👇 pic.twitter.com/qljbsNRhlN
— Dr. Eli David (@DrEliDavid) October 20, 2023
Aggie12B said:
Makes me wonder though if they want us to report them to out ourselves as aligned with the wrong ideology???
Edit: guess I need my vision checked this morning--thought that said "report" instead it says "deport"
— Tim Young (@TimRunsHisMouth) October 19, 2023
— Sal the Agorist (@SallyMayweather) October 20, 2023
Biz Ag said:
Well…a few other places.
Greta deleted it. Probably realized it was the final nail in her green cult movement. pic.twitter.com/l9hoNtrwc3
— EJ (@Ejmiller25) October 20, 2023
Aggie12B said:
Somebody needs to tell the White House we’re not gonna scare HAMAS by sending over a President who has to take the small stairs to get onto the plane.
— Jimmy Failla (@jimmyfailla) October 17, 2023
Bondag said:How embarrassing for this “journalist”
— Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) October 18, 2023
Anyone else craving an apple after watching this? 🍎😂 https://t.co/XMOv0zDXff
Damn! If I was Canadian he'd have my vote.
So many journos can be dismantled with "name one" or "give me an example" response because they speak in exaggeration, generalities and talking points with no basis for any of it. Elon did the same thing recently and it was similarly entertaining.MostlyHarmless said:Bondag said:How embarrassing for this “journalist”
— Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) October 18, 2023
Anyone else craving an apple after watching this? 🍎😂 https://t.co/XMOv0zDXff
Damn! If I was Canadian he'd have my vote.
justcallmeharry said:Leave now - nobody cares. https://t.co/nTd2Dz0LYr
— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) October 18, 2023
Pretty please, Cher. Just leave.
How about she leaves this SOLAR SYSTEM. Get of my cloud!
“A drunkard’s dream if I ever did see one”
Here's a shocker...
BREAKING: Congresswoman @IlhanMN receives death threats and now fears for her life and children's safety following terror attack in Israel and retaliation strikes by Israel in Gaza that have left thousands of people dead. pic.twitter.com/Ptpo1sqZZN
— Simon Ateba (@simonateba) October 20, 2023
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
Israel to Greta: "Hamas doesn’t use sustainable materials for their rockets" https://t.co/fKJyejqybD
— Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) October 20, 2023
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
Meme-Maker Photoshops His Name Into Epstein Client List To Ensure He’ll Never Be Arrested pic.twitter.com/X2AjdtXAfp
— News That Matters (@ThatmattersNews) October 20, 2023
funniest video i’ve seen today pic.twitter.com/eKKGvqHaM2
— non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder) October 20, 2023
Funny, but I want to know the context
They might have just been a*holes to cops for no reason
They might have just been a*holes to cops for no reason
Why do you need to the context? You think the police were there to help them? Did they call the police for help? Why should they talk to them?
HtownAg92 said:So many journos can be dismantled with "name one" or "give me an example" response because they speak in exaggeration, generalities and talking points with no basis for any of it. Elon did the same thing recently and it was similarly entertaining.MostlyHarmless said:Bondag said:How embarrassing for this “journalist”
— Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) October 18, 2023
Anyone else craving an apple after watching this? 🍎😂 https://t.co/XMOv0zDXff
Damn! If I was Canadian he'd have my vote.
Unfortunately it does take a certain level of intelligence and skill to recognize their BS and successfully call it out without looking petty or defensive
Actually, it wasn't so much how he treated the journo as it was what he said towards the end. We could use more politicians like him south of the border.HtownAg92 said:So many journos can be dismantled with "name one" or "give me an example" response because they speak in exaggeration, generalities and talking points with no basis for any of it. Elon did the same thing recently and it was similarly entertaining.MostlyHarmless said:Bondag said:How embarrassing for this “journalist”
— Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) October 18, 2023
Anyone else craving an apple after watching this? 🍎😂 https://t.co/XMOv0zDXff
Damn! If I was Canadian he'd have my vote.
Because some cops suck, but a whole bunch don't.
And they have a very hard job, which we actually really need them to do.
Being an a*hole to then unnecessarily just ensures the good ones leave and all we get are the bad ones.
Why do I need to justify why it's not a good idea to be an a*hole to someone without a reason?
And they have a very hard job, which we actually really need them to do.
Being an a*hole to then unnecessarily just ensures the good ones leave and all we get are the bad ones.
Why do I need to justify why it's not a good idea to be an a*hole to someone without a reason?
I'll just say I disagree with you and leave it at that. Those cops weren't there because they wanted a friendly chat. They were 100% correct to completely ignore them. I don't think that makes them *******s at all - just smart. If you want to converse with police who show up clearly with a police purpose in mind, knock yourself out and chat up a storm with them. I'll be like those guys and ignore them or just shut up entirely.
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