PacifistAg said:

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Honestly, I think one of the things I love about Orthodoxy is the embrace of mystery. It is so unlike western thinking which is so rooted in reason and certainty. But heard about the throwing myself into things. This was honestly an initial concern of my wife. I have a history of going 100 mph with everything. Even my wife sees this is different. It's why I've so deeply appreciated the patience my priest has repeatedly encouraged.

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Solo Tetherball Champ said:

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PacifistAg said:

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Honestly, I think one of the things I love about Orthodoxy is the embrace of mystery. It is so unlike western thinking which is so rooted in reason and certainty. But heard about the throwing myself into things. This was honestly an initial concern of my wife. I have a history of going 100 mph with everything. Even my wife sees this is different. It's why I've so deeply appreciated the patience my priest has repeatedly encouraged.

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Good.

I hope they also provide you with solid theological grounding to dress like an adult and leave the pajama pants at home.

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Solo Tetherball Champ said:

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Try 'joy.'

It's a callback to an exchange retiredag and I had on this board about a decade ago. I assure you, pajama pants have been a theological concern of mine for years. We were, after all, told to put childish ways behind us.

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Solo Tetherball Champ said:

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Childlike faith. Not childish sleepwear, least of all in public.

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dermdoc said:

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Solo Tetherball Champ said:

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Try 'joy.'

It's a callback to an exchange retiredag and I had on this board about a decade ago. I assure you, pajama pants have been a theological concern of mine for years. We were, after all, told to put childish ways behind us.

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Now do Mark 10 14.

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Solo Tetherball Champ said:

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PacifistAg said:

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Honestly, I think one of the things I love about Orthodoxy is the embrace of mystery. It is so unlike western thinking which is so rooted in reason and certainty. But heard about the throwing myself into things. This was honestly an initial concern of my wife. I have a history of going 100 mph with everything. Even my wife sees this is different. It's why I've so deeply appreciated the patience my priest has repeatedly encouraged.

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Good.

I hope they also provide you with solid theological grounding to dress like an adult and leave the pajama pants at home.

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PacifistAg said:

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A is A said:

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Hoping for an update, Pacifist. There are a lot of people praying for you!

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Sorry. Just circling back to this. Things have been great. It's been about 3 weeks since the official date of detransition. Work has been supportive. They couldn't care less. They just want me to do my job. At my previous role at an uber progressive public entity, I had told my boss I was likely to detransition. He looked at me and said "f*%# those people" in context of my church, and a week later i was negotiating my resignation.

So being back in the private sector is nice because they just care about my productivity. The people in my parish have been the best. For the longest time, I assumed people just didn't know because you don't really get a lot of people in my situation walking into Orthodox parishes. Plus, I live in a very Dutch area so tall women are not uncommon. Over the past few weeks, though, I've learned that they all basically knew. They just loved me regardless and left it to the Holy Spirit to work in me. It was a realization that I had actually been the one judging them. I had been assuming, without even realizing it, that they were so kind to me because they didn't know, as though they would have been less kind if they knew. So, that'll go on my life confession when that day comes. I have had several people, including our priest's wife, tell me how they can see joy in my face.

But, the past few weeks have been great. I have had zero dysphoria or depression. There was a day with some weightiness, but I went in to my prayer corner and spent some time in prayer and silence. The only "bad" has been with some left-leaning friends, or I guess now-former left-leaning friends. I received some VERY angry text messages insulting my faith and accusing me of using a marginalized community. I knew they were responding out of their own pain and struggles, so I simply wished them the best and didn't feel the need to defend myself. They know my arms are open should they reach out, and in fact, one of them has actually already done so and apologized.

So, things are good. As a family, we are at peace. We went to Divine Liturgy as a family for the first time, and it just felt so nice.

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PacifistAg said:

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A is A said:

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Hoping for an update, Pacifist. There are a lot of people praying for you!

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Over the past few weeks, though, I've learned that they all basically knew. They just loved me regardless and left it to the Holy Spirit to work in me. It was a realization that I had actually been the one judging them.

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PacifistAg said:

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One thing that has been telling is the number of people I had known for years online and considered friends. Even people I had met in person. When I began to suggest that detransition was a very real possibility, I would get a lot of "don't become anti-trans" or "don't let your story be used by the right". They didn't ask about how I was. They only cared about how may story could be used. The very same people telling me to go no-contact with my family because they weren't "affirming" and that "chosen family" will be there, cast me aside once I was no longer useful to them. Meanwhile, over the past 7 years, my family never waned in their love for me even when they didn't agree with my decisions.

Now, the relationship with my parents is stronger than it's honestly ever been. And I think that's made my move towards Orthodoxy easier for my parents to accept, as dyed-in-the-wool Baptists. I realized how I had mistreated them, and vice versa. They even visit now without any arguments at all. That's never happened before!

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