Bible passages that make me smirk

Silent For Too Long

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Ezekiel 16:3

"...your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite."

Did God tell the world's first mama joke?

Proverbs 27:14

If you shout a pleasant greeting to your neighbor too early in the morning, it will be counted as a curse!

Is that the "not before I have my coffee" proverb?

Proverbs 21:9

Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

PREACH.

Please share any you have come across.

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powerbelly

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1:58p, 11/13/24

AG

That was not the Ezekiel passage I was expecting.

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Martin Q. Blank

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2:30p, 11/13/24

2 Kings 2:23 He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" 24 And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.

punks

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10andBOUNCE

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2:35p, 11/13/24

AG

Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now."

The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"

"No," he said.

-Numbers 22:29-30

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TSJ

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In reply to Martin Q. Blank • 11:00p, 11/13/24

AG

Martin Q. Blank said:
2 Kings 2:23 He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" 24 And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.

punks

This is the one that always come to mind to me. Bears coming down the mountain to maul.

General Jack D. Ripper

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4:49p, 11/14/24

I always enjoyed the part of the Noah story when he gets naked and drunk. Odd how this was used as a basis for slavery.

Well…you sounded taller on radio.

Pro Sandy

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In reply to TSJ • 12:31a, 11/15/24

AG

TSJ said:
Martin Q. Blank said:
2 Kings 2:23 He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" 24 And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.

punks

This is the one that always come to mind to me. Bears coming down the mountain to maul.

Had a youth sponsor when I was in high school who was as bald as Elisha who had that verse on a tshirt to remind us youths to respect his receding hairline lest the she-bears come out

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goatchze

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1:06p, 11/16/24

AG

Ezekiel be like:

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aggiesherpa

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In reply to General Jack D. Ripper • 2:53p, 11/17/24

AG

General Jack D. Ripper said:
I always enjoyed the part of the Noah story when he gets naked and drunk. Odd how this was used as a basis for slavery.

I didnt realize that this story was used to justify slavery. When I went back to read it, I saw the curse that Noah put on Hams descendents. An interesting passage to use to try and justify slavery.

In general, the Old Testament has some real messed up stuff in it.

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