Do any of you have an official, or unofficial, dress code at your churches? Was recently travelling, and saw a YouTube ad for a church nearby where I was staying. Seemed like it was designed to attract young people. But a lot of flip flops, t-shirts, mid-thigh shorts on men, very short shorts and skirts on ladies, and people with those ripped and torn up jeans where you can see fist size areas of their legs. Now there were also men and women in more business casual type attire as well.

Just curious if this is becoming as common place in houses of worship as it is in the workplace, with younger people seeming to prioritize comfortable clothing over looking presentable. And also elders seem less likely to call them out on it. If I showed up in short and flip flops on Sunday, I'm pretty sure some old lady I didn't know would have given me a reason to go home and change.

traxter said:

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Pro Sandy said:

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traxter said:

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Do any of you have an official, or unofficial, dress code at your churches? Was recently travelling, and saw a YouTube ad for a church nearby where I was staying. Seemed like it was designed to attract young people. But a lot of flip flops, t-shirts, mid-thigh shorts on men, very short shorts and skirts on ladies, and people with those ripped and torn up jeans where you can see fist size areas of their legs. Now there were also men and women in more business casual type attire as well.

Just curious if this is becoming as common place in houses of worship as it is in the workplace, with younger people seeming to prioritize comfortable clothing over looking presentable. And also elders seem less likely to call them out on it. If I showed up in short and flip flops on Sunday, I'm pretty sure some old lady I didn't know would have given me a reason to go home and change.

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Do you think that would be the right response? It is entirely a cultural norm. Something about man looks at the outside but God looks at the heart.

People started dressing down for church in the 90s. While I think we should dress up and I am usually the most dressed up male at my church with a tucked in shirt, if I'm judging someone based on their lack of a coat and tie, shame on me.

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I get what you're saying, but at the same time I think there's a difference between someone who can't dress appropriately (finances, homeless, whatever), and someone who doesn't understand why one should dress a certain way. Of course what constitutes appropriate will vary widely. I don't think one needs to wear a suit, but I once heard someone describe as basically saying "if you were to go meet a king, how would you dress? Now if you were to go before the King of Kings, how would you dress?"

I think that kind of stuck with me a bit. To be honest, I rarely wear shorts in public, unless working out. The most casual I get is jeans - which I do wear often when I'm out and about. I also think it's weird for adults to be wearing intentionally ripped jeans, especially with large holes in it. And if we look back at some of the best examples of people, in the Biblical times, they all dressed modestly. May have been a function of the times and the culture then though.

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If you were meeting a king, you wouldn't wear a coat and tie? Do you wear jeans to church? Would you wear them to Buckingham palace? So i don't think that analogy works unless you do wear a coat and tie every Sunday.

This started because you didn't like flipflops, tshirts, and shorts on men. That is your personal decision based on what society says is formal or informal. Man makes those rules.

Church is a communal thing; we are to be building each other up with our good deeds, etc. So dressing modestly is a big part of that. End of the day, yeah, we can worship God wearing most anything and I don't think it's "wrong" to be casual about it. But part of the dress code is to be building each other up and our dress can be a part of it.

Not a perfect analogy, but the same reason we all dress up for a job interview - not to try and earn the job based on dress but to reveal our motives of really wanting the job.

DirtDiver said:

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No dress code. I grew up in church where we wore our sunday best. When I went on the mission field in the jungle I wore flip flops and shorts to church or went barefoot. Dressing in my sunday best would have been a show off of wealth for any nationals who joined us for church and would have been arrogant in my opinion.

All are welcome. I think a passage in the NT would claim not to dress like a prostitute and the OT would instruct us not to dress like the opposite sex.

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I think you first paragraph shows a bit of what I would recommend: we are uniformly worshipping God so we should have some level of uniformity of dress. Not a "everyone wears black pants and white shirts" uniform, but a standard level of dress where one doesn't stand out. Too fancy and you stand out. Too dressed down and you stand out. In my opinion, if any eyes are on you for either reason, you're taking people's attention away from the central focus: God.

That said: we're the locals on your missions trips dressing in their nicer version of standard clothing, or their worst?

No dress code or concern in my church. We are in central Florida, and shorts and flip-flops are common, and that's what I usually wear. When I am playing in the worship band, I'll typically wear jeans. We have a wide variety of ages in our church, with several men in khakis and polos, women in dresses, and then all the way down to my casual attire. I've never seen anyone dress inappropriately. The closest to that in my mind is an elderly man in a wheelchair, who will typically wear a MAGA cap. I don't like bringing politics into the church.

The main point of all this is that we are in central Florida where, aside from about 8 weeks between December and February, it's always friggin' hot and humid. Most professionals in my town don't wear suits or ties to work.

ABattJudd said:

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No dress code or concern in my church. We are in central Florida, and shorts and flip-flops are common, and that's what I usually wear. When I am playing in the worship band, I'll typically wear jeans. We have a wide variety of ages in our church, with several men in khakis and polos, women in dresses, and then all the way down to my casual attire. I've never seen anyone dress inappropriately. The closest to that in my mind is an elderly man in a wheelchair, who will typically wear a MAGA cap. I don't like bringing politics into the church.

The main point of all this is that we are in central Florida where, aside from about 8 weeks between December and February, it's always friggin' hot and humid. Most professionals in my town don't wear suits or ties to work.

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Same at Brazos Fellowship in College Station.

People used to wear suits to everything: work, church, sporting events, airplane rides, etc. Nowadays, most activities are casual. It seems only politicians and lawyers still regularly wear suits.

The Bible makes no proscriptions on what to wear other than being modest.

Cynic said:

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People used to wear suits to everything: work, church, sporting events, airplane rides, etc. Nowadays, most activities are casual. It seems only politicians and lawyers still regularly wear suits.

The Bible makes no proscriptions on what to wear other than being modest.

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That's kind of my point.

What defines modesty. There was a time when men didn't take their shirts off at the beach, and wore shorts almost to the knee. A woman exposing anything above the calves in public was unheard of. And dressing too casual was a sign of disrespect.

How far down the slope of casual are we willing to slide? I don't think people should be kicked out of church for not following a dress code, but I also think people should be encouraged to dress better. Will there come a time when we see men in wife beaters and women in skimpy tank tops?

The Banned said:

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Pro Sandy said:

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The Banned said:

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Pro Sandy said:

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The Banned said:

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10andBOUNCE said:

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And while I agree the God cares about the heart as mentioned in 1 Sam 16, what is the heart saying if you show up in flip flops and graphic tees?

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This. While dressing up isn't a "must" what does it say when you're willing to dress up for work but not for God? Everyone's wardrobe is different, so I'm not saying it all has to be suit and tie, but everyone should be trying to give God the best of what's in their closet.

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Why?

Why does God care about how you try to impress other people?

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How does "give GOD the best of what's in your closet" = impress people? That's either poor reading comprehension or intentionally taking what I said and twisting it.

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Because that is literally who you are dressing up for. No where does it sys to bring the best of your wardrobe to God. John the Baptist wore camel hair.

Peter tells us to clothe ourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Paul says to Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms

When we put dress codes in church, even when we claim we aren't because we aren't saying a coat and tie, we are putting a barrier between people and God. Just because we don't think they should wear flipflops.

When you are dressing up, you are dressing up to impress others.

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You are assigning a lot of motivation to me without knowing me at all. I'd recommend against that. This sounds like you're taking a personal issue and assigning it to me. That's twice you've said that I think people should dress nice to impress other people when I've specifically said the opposite.

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I still think we dress for other people. I think that applies for you too unless you wear the same thing during your private time in prayer that you do on Sunday.

The Banned said:

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DirtDiver said:

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No dress code. I grew up in church where we wore our sunday best. When I went on the mission field in the jungle I wore flip flops and shorts to church or went barefoot. Dressing in my sunday best would have been a show off of wealth for any nationals who joined us for church and would have been arrogant in my opinion.

All are welcome. I think a passage in the NT would claim not to dress like a prostitute and the OT would instruct us not to dress like the opposite sex.

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I think you first paragraph shows a bit of what I would recommend: we are uniformly worshipping God so we should have some level of uniformity of dress. Not a "everyone wears black pants and white shirts" uniform, but a standard level of dress where one doesn't stand out. Too fancy and you stand out. Too dressed down and you stand out. In my opinion, if any eyes are on you for either reason, you're taking people's attention away from the central focus: God.

That said: we're the locals on your missions trips dressing in their nicer version of standard clothing, or their worst?

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Some were. Others were not. Lots of soccer jerseys and no shoes. "chch" in greek is "called out ones". It's people - believers in Jesus and a gathering of believers can looks very different all across the world. From a tiny room with a dirt floor to a carpeted million dollar building.

There's no one size fits all answer to this, but IMO dressing nicely shows respect to your fellow church goers and acknowledges why we're really there. There are always exceptions..... I'll see a family in church with a couple kids dressed in their soccer uniforms. They're at least teaching the kids to prioritize going to church...even on tournament weekends. Also, once or twice I've had to wear shorts to church when I've been delayed in getting back into town on a weekend. I was self conscious about how I was dressed, but I figured that being there outweighed my discomfort. And then there's the obvious exceptions where people's situation limit what they can wear.

On a lighter note, there's a man at my church who wore a Dak Prescott jersey every Sunday during football season. He was asked to join the parish council. And by magic he now wears at least a sports coat/jacket every week.

747Ag said:

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ABattJudd said:

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No dress code or concern in my church. We are in central Florida, and shorts and flip-flops are common, and that's what I usually wear. When I am playing in the worship band, I'll typically wear jeans. We have a wide variety of ages in our church, with several men in khakis and polos, women in dresses, and then all the way down to my casual attire. I've never seen anyone dress inappropriately. The closest to that in my mind is an elderly man in a wheelchair, who will typically wear a MAGA cap. I don't like bringing politics into the church.

The main point of all this is that we are in central Florida where, aside from about 8 weeks between December and February, it's always friggin' hot and humid. Most professionals in my town don't wear suits or ties to work.

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Space Coast, FL here...

I agree with many above stating that dressing your best as an interior disposition towards our Blessed Lord is the best approach (exceptions not withstanding). Jacket and tie is my mainstay. Wife and daughters in dresses and veils (little ones might not keep the veil on, so...). Sons in nice shirts and slacks. I do think God cares... My family's mindset is: are you giving Him your best (whatever that is)?

Amusing story... at least to me... When we first moved to Florida, we checked out several parishes. The first time we attended the very large beachside parish, the pastor spoke to me before Holy Mass began because he knew we were visitors... how did he know? Large family walking in dressed as outlined above is quite the contrast to the typical parishioner there (shorts, flip-flops, etc...). And yes, the heat is real. The humidity is worse. But dressing well is a small penance/cross to bear for so great a Savior.

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I agree with DermDoc, this is a great post! Thank you for explaining your thinking. Halfway through your post, I was assuming this was a Catholic church since you'd said "parish" (I may be way off), so I assumed this was more in line with high church formality, rather that my non-denominational church's casualness. But your last bit about the typical parishioners at the church in Florida gave me a chuckle.

Pro Sandy said:

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The Banned said:

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Pro Sandy said:

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The Banned said:

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Pro Sandy said:

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The Banned said:

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10andBOUNCE said:

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And while I agree the God cares about the heart as mentioned in 1 Sam 16, what is the heart saying if you show up in flip flops and graphic tees?

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This. While dressing up isn't a "must" what does it say when you're willing to dress up for work but not for God? Everyone's wardrobe is different, so I'm not saying it all has to be suit and tie, but everyone should be trying to give God the best of what's in their closet.

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Why?

Why does God care about how you try to impress other people?

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How does "give GOD the best of what's in your closet" = impress people? That's either poor reading comprehension or intentionally taking what I said and twisting it.

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Because that is literally who you are dressing up for. No where does it sys to bring the best of your wardrobe to God. John the Baptist wore camel hair.

Peter tells us to clothe ourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Paul says to Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms

When we put dress codes in church, even when we claim we aren't because we aren't saying a coat and tie, we are putting a barrier between people and God. Just because we don't think they should wear flipflops.

When you are dressing up, you are dressing up to impress others.

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You are assigning a lot of motivation to me without knowing me at all. I'd recommend against that. This sounds like you're taking a personal issue and assigning it to me. That's twice you've said that I think people should dress nice to impress other people when I've specifically said the opposite.

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I still think we dress for other people. I think that applies for you too unless you wear the same thing during your private time in prayer that you do on Sunday.

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So I wake up in the morning in shorts, no shirt. I say a few prayers before getting out of bed. To reverse your assertion here, I should feel comfortable approaching God is church the same way, yes?

The response is "that's immodest". Well what's the problem with immodesty if not for how it affects other people? From your perspective, all dress is for other people, including shorts and flip flops so the important parts are covered. Unless you're butt naked, you're wearing clothes for other people.

But wait… maybe you're naked because you want people to look at you. Now you're lack of clothes is for other people.

So I'll repeat: dress in church should be about not standing out, either too fancy or too casual. We as a body of believers are dressing for God. I believe it is best if the congregation dresses to the best that their community can dress. They're most likely doing it for work. Why not for God? This will look different in rural USA vs city USA vs 3rd world country etc.

Yes, I mean baseball hats on men. For some reason that one has stuck with me and still annoys me.

RAB91 said:

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Quinn said:

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Does it bug anyone else when people wear hats to church? The casual dress doesn't bother me (though I try and wear a collar at the very least), but for whatever reason, I can't get past people wearing hats. It really drives me nuts when a worship leader does it. I know its not a big deal, but I hate it.

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Women wearing nice hats on Easter Sunday is a tradition that I wouldn't mind if it came back.
Baseball caps worn by men is trashy IMO.

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Why not every Sunday?

The Banned said:

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Pro Sandy said:

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The Banned said:

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Pro Sandy said:

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The Banned said:

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Pro Sandy said:

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The Banned said:

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10andBOUNCE said:

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And while I agree the God cares about the heart as mentioned in 1 Sam 16, what is the heart saying if you show up in flip flops and graphic tees?

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This. While dressing up isn't a "must" what does it say when you're willing to dress up for work but not for God? Everyone's wardrobe is different, so I'm not saying it all has to be suit and tie, but everyone should be trying to give God the best of what's in their closet.

---

Why?

Why does God care about how you try to impress other people?

---

How does "give GOD the best of what's in your closet" = impress people? That's either poor reading comprehension or intentionally taking what I said and twisting it.

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Because that is literally who you are dressing up for. No where does it sys to bring the best of your wardrobe to God. John the Baptist wore camel hair.

Peter tells us to clothe ourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Paul says to Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms

When we put dress codes in church, even when we claim we aren't because we aren't saying a coat and tie, we are putting a barrier between people and God. Just because we don't think they should wear flipflops.

When you are dressing up, you are dressing up to impress others.

---

You are assigning a lot of motivation to me without knowing me at all. I'd recommend against that. This sounds like you're taking a personal issue and assigning it to me. That's twice you've said that I think people should dress nice to impress other people when I've specifically said the opposite.

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I still think we dress for other people. I think that applies for you too unless you wear the same thing during your private time in prayer that you do on Sunday.

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So I wake up in the morning in shorts, no shirt. I say a few prayers before getting out of bed. To reverse your assertion here, I should feel comfortable approaching God is church the same way, yes?

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If you feel you are dressing for God, then why do you not dress up for Him outside of Sunday morning?

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The response is "that's immodest". Well what's the problem with immodesty if not for how it affects other people? From your perspective, all dress is for other people, including shorts and flip flops so the important parts are covered. Unless you're butt naked, you're wearing clothes for other people.

But wait… maybe you're naked because you want people to look at you. Now you're lack of clothes is for other people.

So I'll repeat: dress in church should be about not standing out, either too fancy or too casual. We as a body of believers are dressing for God. I believe it is best if the congregation dresses to the best that their community can dress. They're most likely doing it for work. Why not for God? This will look different in rural USA vs city USA vs 3rd world country etc.

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I don't think God is impressed by our dress. I think if you think you need to dress up for him, then be consistent and not just 1 hour a week. If you think others need to dress up to impress God, that's a you problem.

Modest is appropriate. If you are dressing up, you are doing it for cultural reasons and for others. It's ok to do that. I wear a coat and tie on Christmas and Easter. But when I tell my boys to wear one because Christ died for their sins and it's the least they can do, well that's just not true. It's to look nice.