FYI - Joshua Charles is a recent convert...
THE VERSE THAT BEGAN MY JOURNEY TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
Since I was a boy, I loved the Bible. I read and discussed it all the time with my parents, friends, and mentors. My parents helped me get multiple study Bibles over the years.
But I remember clear as day being a teenager, and reading this verse for what felt like the first time. I was completely baffled:
"Jesus said to them [the Apostles] again, 'Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.' And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained'" (John 20:21-23).
Jesus clearly gave the Apostles the authority to forgive sins. But this made no sense in my protestant, evangelical framework.
"Only God can forgive sins," I thought to myself. If the Apostles could forgive sins, that seemed to imply the Gospel I had learned was false. Why? Because when we were "saved," we believed all our sinsincluding future oneswere forgiven. Even protestants I knew who believed you could lose your salvation believed all we had to do to be forgiven was pray.
But this verse clearly said something very different. If the Apostles could forgive sins, that meant the Gospel the earliest Christians learned was quite different than the one I knew.
So I went to the study Bibles. I believe we had three at the time: the Geneva Study Bible, the Reformation Study Bible, and the ESV Study Bible.
I went straight to that verse in one of them, eager for an answer.
The commentary was blank.
Then I went to the other two, whose commentary amounted to saying "the verse doesn't mean what it plainly says." I remember being very disappointed at the absurdity of their "explanation."
At the time, I was teaching piano lessons on the side to earn some spending money. I saved up approximately $60 so I could buy another study Bible. I THINK it was the MacArthur Study Bible (1st ed.). When it arrived, I was giddy with excitement, convinced I would finally get an answer. I ripped open the box, opened the Bible to John 20, and…
Blank. The verses were completely skipped.
I was crushed.
At the time, I wasn't "anti-Catholic," but I had a general sense of "we left those quasi-pagans for good reasons, and good riddance." While I was VERY confused about this verse, I assumed some great theologian or teacher had figured it out.
As time went on, I occasionally read more commentaries on this verse. Time and again, like the first one, they never made sense. All of them basically denied the verse stated what it plainly stated, usually along the lines of what the MacArthur Study Bible (2nd ed.) in my library today states:
"This verse does not give authority to Christians to forgive sins. Jesus was saying that the believer can boldly declare the certainty of a sinner's forgiveness by the Father because of the work of his Son if that sinner has repented and believed the gospel. The believer with certainty can also tell those who do not respond to the message of God's forgiveness through faith in Christ that their sins, as a result, are not forgiven."
Clearly the verse says nothing like this. Jesus isn't speaking to all believers, but only the Apostles. Jesus didn't speak about certainty of forgiveness, etc. He said THE APOSTLES could forgive/not forgive sins. They were the agents He referred to. Jesus had other followers at the time, but didn't say this to them.
I remember how much doubt this verse gave me as a teenager. I trusted someone had figured it out. Nonetheless, I was genuinely shocked by it, and the answers I was given were completely unconvincing.
It was the first of many such experiences of reading the Bible and thinking "how on earth does this make sense in our theological framework?"
Now, after discovering the Church Fathers, this verse is no longer confusing. It is part of my life through the sacrament of confession.
Praise God!