If there's a man in a leadership role in the church and you know he's cheating on his wife should you tell the church?

bobcat90 said:

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If there's a man in a leadership role in the church and you know he's cheating on his wife should you tell the church?

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You have two or three eye witnesses to said intercourse?

bobcat90 said:

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If there's a man in a leadership role in the church and you know he's cheating on his wife should you tell the church?

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I think I'd confront him directly first and with love attempt to get him to do the right thing.
Confess, repent, ask for forgiveness! And of course, there will be consequences he'll have to own.

ETA: for you to do nothing, is/maybe an issue between you and God. See Ezekiel 33:7-9.

bobcat90 said:

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If there's a man in a leadership role in the church and you know he's cheating on his wife should you tell the church?

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Have you talked to your pastor about it? Seems like that would be a good place to start.

Had a family member who's wife cheated with another church member. Church leadership apparently had no issues with both families (both with small children) attending services and sitting in rows behind one another. I can't fathom how they would allow such interaction knowing what was going on. Church seemed very soft on cheating IMO. At minimum they needed to attend separate service times.

Pastor of a former church I attended was counseling females and banging them.

I was shocked.

Dude committed suicide after church leadership confronted him. Left behind a wife and two young kids.

Sad.

Yes 100% proof. Still sitting on this.

I definitely am. I wouldn't have posted if i wasn't.

I wouldn't want that on my hands if i was the whistleblower

And they teach high school kids how to find the faithful partner in marriage. I'm so angry and has made me keep my distance from the church more than usual.

bobcat90 said:

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Yes 100% proof. Still sitting on this.

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Are you the only one with this 100% proof or could you be assisted by 2 or 3 others from the church?
If you could be, why not confront this person as a group sooner rather than later? I think this take some pressure off you. The group can simply let him/her know that it is known and it is wrong and needs to stop. Show him/her that you care and will do what you can to support, but the sin has to stop. Truth in love is the way. You will be at peace once you do this because it is the right thing to do.

I strongly feel that spiritual leaders who abuse their power like this will be held liable for any souls potentially lost as an effect of their actions.

Pman11 said:

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I strongly feel that spiritual leaders who abuse their power like this will be held liable for any souls potentially lost as an effect of their actions.

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Yep. I like to leave stuff like this to God.

He is the final judge.

But I also agree with church discipline.

SoulSlaveAG2005 said:

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I think following the gospel here could help.

""If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

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Gospel?? Chapter and verse.

whatthehey78 said:

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SoulSlaveAG2005 said:

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I think following the gospel here could help.

""If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

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Gospel?? Chapter and verse.

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Yes. Matthew 18:15-17. But, I suspect your question is focused on translation.

Id just keep my mouth shut and not be a meddler. It'll work itself out. I know a lot of Christian's that have a lot of secrets and probably ought not even be in church if I'm being honest. None of my business.

Ag-Yoakum95 said:

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BrazosDog02 said:

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Id just keep my mouth shut and not be a meddler. It'll work itself out. I know a lot of Christian's that have a lot of secrets and probably ought not even be in church if I'm being honest. None of my business.

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The difference it sounds like is this person is in leadership within the church. It needs to be addressed ASAP, but you better be rock solid with the information backing up the claim. Definitely the lead pastor is the place to start.

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I figure maybe it's like athletics where the overweight coach is better and coaching than he is playing? Is he good at his leadership role?

BrazosDog02 said:

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Id just keep my mouth shut and not be a meddler. It'll work itself out. I know a lot of Christian's that have a lot of secrets and probably ought not even be in church if I'm being honest. None of my business.

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This is bad advice. He could, of his own volition, choose to repent and reconcile. However, this is not likely because if he was sincere and recognized it he would have already confessed it.

He should be confronted but I believe a spiritual authority, a pastor specifically, should be involved and church leadership needs to know. There are potentially three (or more, depending on the person cheating) souls entrusted to their care that they can't properly help without knowledge. Kids will eventually find out and it will not just reflect on the cheater but the church.

I've seen this done well. My fear is that there is probably a trail, more than one mistress.

Edit: with a liturgical background, confession is necessary and often times discipline includes withholding sacraments for the sake of the person who is caught (so as not to take it in an unworthy manner). Thus a priest or pastor knowing, to me, matters.

whatthehey78 said:

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SoulSlaveAG2005 said:

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I think following the gospel here could help.

""If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

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Gospel?? Chapter and verse.

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Here ya go.

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/matthew/18