How Should a Christian Handle This MIL Issue?

6,991 Views | 60 Replies | Last: 2 yr ago by Captain Pablo
Sea Speed
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8:37a, 11/28/21
AG
Also how long have you been married OP? I find it odd you wouldn't have known this. By the time my wife and I were married, I knew all my inlaws neuroses, and we had only been together a year.

That said, I put up with a lot to appease the wife, but I've never apologized for my reasonable behavior or reactions to my inlaws unreasonable behavior, nor would I ever.
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HDeathstar
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8:59p, 11/28/21
"I'm sorry I upset you, I didn't know it was a sensitive issue" I look forward to seeing you at our house for all holidays going forward.
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Ulrich
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1:12p, 11/29/21
I've never been accused of being especially aware of social signals, but I don't understand what you did wrong here.
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Serotonin
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3:09p, 11/29/21
AG
At this point, without additional detail I'm going with one of two scenarios:

1. Your FIL and wife are being unreasonable here or
2. There is a lot of missing color in the bolded below

Quote:
Was at a family dinner tonight at my in-laws. I'm passed the salad dressing and put it on my salad. Salad was rancid. I checked the dressing bottle, salad dressing expired in 2015. I mention this at the table.

Wife and FIL are upset at me that I brought the expired/rancid dressing up. I learn that apparently the MIL has a problem with throwing away expired food and that it upsets her when confronted about this
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AGC
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11:42p, 11/29/21
AG
OP rises from the grave after 4 days and changes user name (while posting in the zoo).

We gonna get some closure or what?
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murphyag
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10:36a, 12/11/21
AG
No need to apologize for telling the truth. Going forward, start bringing your own food and drink to any meals at the in-laws house. Show them who is BOSS. Let the rest of them sit around eating rancid food while you enjoy some Whataburger, Taco Bell, or Dominoes. They'll get the point.
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Waltonloads08
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In reply to 3rd and 2 • 5:47p, 12/11/21
AG
3rd and 2 said:
Was at a family dinner tonight at my in-laws. I'm passed the salad dressing and put it on my salad. Salad was rancid. I checked the dressing bottle, salad dressing expired in 2015. I mention this at the table.

Wife and FIL are upset at me that I brought the expired/rancid dressing up. I learn that apparently the MIL has a problem with throwing away expired food and that it upsets her when confronted about this..

Tonight wife tells me I should apologize to MIL tomorrow for bringing up the fact that the dressing was expired and rancid at dinner. By the way I saw that the rancid salad dressing was put back in the fridge and not thrown away.

I'm fuming right now plus feeling a bit wheezy in the stomach. How should a Christian handle this situation? I'm thinking I'll apologize but keep special attention on any food MIL prepares from now on.



Your MIL is mentally ill and cannot help herself or see the problem- she needs to see a therapist who can help her deal with hoarding behavior, maybe even specifically with food. If left unaddressed, this will only get worse as she ages and could land them in the hospital or worse.

This is a fight worth having, they are your family now too, and your responsibility to look out for them when they can't do it for themselves.





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Captain Pablo
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In reply to PA24 • 4:14p, 12/12/21
AG
PA24 said:
40+ years with the same MIL.

Harmony in family as I just eat what she puts out there and don't complain. Get home and critique meal with the wife.

She passed a coupe of years ago and I wish I would have tried more to get along with her, I miss the MIL.


You eat rotten, toxic food to keep the peace?

Gross
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Mrs. Lovelight
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In reply to 3rd and 2 • 5:34p, 12/19/21
Bring your own salad dressing.
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texasaggie2015
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11:51a, 12/20/21
AG
Very slow day at work so was reading through boards I don't normally visit.

I picked a fantastic day to do that. This thread is wild.

Are we sure OP is alive?
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RebAg13
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8:47p, 12/25/21
AG
Need to know how Christmas meals went
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Ghost of Andrew Eaton
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In reply to 3rd and 2 • 10:15p, 12/25/21
You've done nothing wrong but is it worth being right?
If you say you hate the state of politics in this nation and you don't get involved in it, you obviously don't hate the state of politics in this nation.
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PA24
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In reply to Captain Pablo • 10:25p, 12/25/21
AG
Captain Pablo said:
PA24 said:
40+ years with the same MIL.

Harmony in family as I just eat what she puts out there and don't complain. Get home and critique meal with the wife.

She passed a coupe of years ago and I wish I would have tried more to get along with her, I miss the MIL.


You eat rotten, toxic food to keep the peace?

Gross
My MIL was the best cook and her food was good ol fashion East Texas dishes. Example chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes with homemade skillet gravy, snap green beans, crme corn, salad, and ice tea. Dessert was hot apple pie with ice cream.

Only one that came close was my mom. I miss the MiL.
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J-Licious
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10:49p, 12/25/21
AG
Mercy and justice. You were just in pointing it out. You can show mercy by apologizing in a polite and respectful manner.

Don't focus on "fair".

FYI - this is easier to say than to dosomething I personally struggle with.

Good luck tomorrow!
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Captain Pablo
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In reply to PA24 • 8:05p, 12/26/21
AG
PA24 said:
Captain Pablo said:
PA24 said:
40+ years with the same MIL.

Harmony in family as I just eat what she puts out there and don't complain. Get home and critique meal with the wife.

She passed a coupe of years ago and I wish I would have tried more to get along with her, I miss the MIL.


You eat rotten, toxic food to keep the peace?

Gross
My MIL was the best cook and her food was good ol fashion East Texas dishes. Example chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes with homemade skillet gravy, snap green beans, crme corn, salad, and ice tea. Dessert was hot apple pie with ice cream.

Only one that came close was my mom. I miss the MiL.


You mean you weren't served spoiled, expired food?

So, what was your point?
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JD Shellnut
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2:21a, 12/27/21
AG
Does the OP have kids? Will they be served rotten food too?
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nortex97
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9:14a, 12/27/21
AG
Depends on the denominations involved. Examples:

Joel Osteen types would say that you are entitled to be successful, happy and joyful at all times including when sharing bad news.

Orthodox might need to check on any apostolic succession/traditions guidance in handling expired food.

Primitive Baptists might argue the truth shall set her free.

United Methodists would need to have a meeting to discuss how to handle. This thread indicates you might be a methodist.

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Thebigkahuna
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In reply to AGC • 9:47p, 12/27/21
AGC said:
one MEEN Ag said:
While not all of these replies are Christian, I would say they are all baptist.


Your joke is bad and you should feel bad. Not a single person has suggested forming a committee to replace said MiL.
As a graduate of a Baptist seminary, this joke made me laugh way too loud! Bluestar for you, my friend!
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wbt5845
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7:30a, 12/28/21
AG
On a side note, I routinely scour the fridge looking for any leftovers more than three days old. For instance, all the Christmas feast leftovers are going in the trash today. Pisses my wife off sometimes, but it's better for all of us in the long run.
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Whirligigs
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9:00a, 12/28/21
Beating women with switches would not only solve the MIL issue but also quell the wife with vocally objecting to you in front of your FIL. At this point the heads of households need to talk to each other and let the womens submit. Darn women's.
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Captain Pablo
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9:05a, 12/28/21
AG
Was anyone else's first reaction to the thread title is that it's missing a letter?

Just me?

OK. Never mind
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schmendeler
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In reply to Captain Pablo • 9:21a, 12/28/21
AG
Like this?
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Captain Pablo
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In reply to schmendeler • 9:28a, 12/28/21
AG
schmendeler said:
Like this?


Yeah somethin' like that

I certainly wasn't referring to "No Ragrets"
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FamousAgg
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2:52p, 12/28/21
Are they in a dire financial situation where they cannot afford food? This is the only situation where I can see that the MIL would be upset?
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Leggo My Elko
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4:30p, 1/3/22
AG
Just read this thread. What a conundrum. Would really like the OP to elaborate a bit more.

How did you "mention this at the table"?

Are your Wife & FIL actually for real upset with you....or do they just want you to apologize to keep the peace?

I would maybe apologize for not bringing it up in a more tactful way. But she's the one who served 6-year-old salad dressing.

This post is now a month old. What happened?
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Captain Pablo
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In reply to Leggo My Elko • 4:59p, 1/3/22
AG
TexjbA&M said:
Just read this thread. What a conundrum. Would really like the OP to elaborate a bit more.

How did you "mention this at the table"?

Are your Wife & FIL actually for real upset with you....or do they just want you to apologize to keep the peace?

I would maybe apologize for not bringing it up in a more tactful way. But she's the one who served 6-year-old salad dressing.

This post is now a month old. What happened?


The salad dressing got a month older, and OP is still sleeping on the couch
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