Let's not confuse God's love and wrath for specific men as they are in a moment with specific men as they were created in His Image and Likeness, the design plan, as it were. Let's denote specific with general by convention as love and Love. God is Love, and to that extent there can be no changing. He does not change at all (with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning), so His Love cannot change. Yet He is anthropomorphized into change with regard to men, sometimes by the intercession of other men some men He loves, and His love changes with their actions. So we are presented with a problem. I don't believe this is a pre-ordained disposition toward some or the other. He does not change, we change in response to Him.
Even so, this is not even as simple as a linear relationship (balance of Good vs Evil). A man who repents undoes his evil, a man that turns from his righteousness and commits sin causes God to forget his righteousness "None of the righteous things / offenses that person has done will be remembered." Why? "Because they consider all the offenses they have committed and turn away from them, that person will surely live."
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Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?
Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, people of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!
You are supposed to love your enemies because God Loves them, even as he hates them. His Love comes freely from Him; His hate is only from us. We who are evil are we who are yet in sin. Not one is good because only One is Holy. Yet we are not Evil.
St John Chrysostom on Romans 9 says that St Paul's writings about vessels and clay is not to teach against free will but to teach obedience and fear of calling God to account.
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Here it is not to do away with free-will that he says this, but to show, up to what point we ought to obey God. For in respect of calling God to account, we ought to be as little disposed to it as the clay is. For we ought to abstain not from gainsaying or questioning only, but even from speaking or thinking of it at all, and to become like that lifeless matter, which follows the potter's hands, and lets itself be drawn about anywhere he may please. And this is the only point he applied the illustration to, not, that is, to any enunciation of the rule of life, but to the complete obedience and silence enforced upon us.
And specifically on free will:
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Pharaoh was a vessel of wrath, that is, a man who by his own hard-heartedness had kindled the wrath of God. For after enjoying much long-suffering, he became no better, but remained unimproved. Wherefore he calls him not only a vessel of wrath, but also one fitted for destruction. That is, fully fitted indeed, but by his own proper self. For neither had God left out anything of the things likely to recover him, nor did he leave out anything of those that would ruin him, and put him beyond any forgiveness. Yet still, though God knew this, He endured him with much long-suffering, being willing to bring him to repentance. For had He not willed this, then He would not have been thus long-suffering. But as he would not use the long-suffering in order to repentance, but fully fitted himself for wrath, He used him for the correction of others, through the punishment inflicted upon him making them better, and in this way setting forth His power.
Whence then are some vessels of wrath, and some of mercy? Of their own free choice. God, however, being very good, shows the same kindness to both. For it was not those in a state of salvation only to whom He showed mercy, but also Pharaoh, as far as His part went. For of the same long-suffering, both they and he had the advantage. And if he was not saved, it was quite owing to his own will: since, as for what concerns God, he had as much done for him as they who were saved.
God Loves all men equally. God does not love all men equally. I'm on my own in an analogy here, but I would say that God's Love shines on all without variance, because it is perfect Love; His love is perceived by us as a reflection in our own tarnished mirrors.
St Maximos says:
For him who is perfect in love and has reached the summit of dispassion there is no difference between his own and another's, or between Christians and unbelievers, or between slave and free, or even between male and female. But because he has risen above the tyranny of the passions and has fixed his attention on the single nature of man, he looks on all in the same way and shows the same disposition to all.
The person who loves God cannot help loving every man as himself, even though he is grieved by the passions of those who are not yet purified. But when they amend their lives, his delight is indescribable and knows no bounds.
He who loves Me, says the Lord, will keep My commandments; and 'this is My commandment, that you love one another.' Thus he who does not love his neighbor fails to keep the commandment, and so cannot love the Lord.
You have not yet acquired perfect love if your regard for people is still swayed by their characters for example, if, for some particular reason, you love one person and hate another, or if for the same reason you sometimes love and sometimes hate the same person.
He who loves Christ is bound to imitate Him to the best of his ability. Christ, for example, was always conferring blessings on people; He was long-suffering when they were ungrateful and blasphemed Him; and when they beat Him and put Him to death, He endured it, imputing no evil at all to anyone. These are the three acts which manifest love for one's neighbor. If he is incapable of them, the person who says that he loves Christ or has attained the kingdom deceives himself. For 'not everyone who says to Me: "Lord, Lord" shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of My Father'; and again, 'He who loves Me will keep My commandments'.
Has someone vilified you? Do not hate him; hate the vilification and the demon which induced him to utter it. If you hate the vilifier, you have hated a man and so broken the commandment. What he has done in word you do in action. To keep the commandment, show the qualities of love and help him in any way you can, so that you may deliver him from evil.
Many have said much about love, but you will find love itself only if you seek it among the disciples of Christ. For only they have true Love as love's teacher. 'Though I have the gift of prophecy', says St. Paul, 'and know all mysteries and knowledge... and have no love, it profits me nothing'. He who possesses love possesses God Himself, for 'God is love'.
'But I say to you,' says the Lord, 'love your enemies do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you.' Why did He command this? To free you from hatred, irritation, anger and rancor, and to make you worthy of the supreme gift of perfect love. And you cannot attain such love if you do not imitate God and love all men equally. For God loves all men equally and wishes them 'to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth'.
Edited to clean up / clarify some quotes.
