Christian Domestic Discipline

50,788 Views | 105 Replies | Last: 9 yr ago by AstroAg17
PacifistAg
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I had just heard about this yesterday. Even when I was in fundamentalist world, I had never heard of this, but apparently there's some that believe hitting one's wife as a form of discipline is compatible with Christian doctrine. Has anyone heard of this before?

Honestly, when I first started reading this link, I kept waiting for the point when it would be clear that it was satire. This is disturbing. Here's the link to the CDD website.

From the comment section of the first link:

quote:
The concept of Christian Domestic Discipline is relatively new. In fact, Domestic Discipline as applied to spanking didn't enter the English language until the mid-1970s. So far as I can tell, it didn't get tagged with the Christian label until sometime in the mid to late 1990s.

When my wife and I got married, it was just called spanking. The wife of a minister in a church my wife and I attended shortly after we married frankly recommended husbands spanking their wives with a belt. I remember it quite vividly because my wife squeezed my hand and shyly grinned.

A couple of years earlier, with my future wife's permission while we were dating, I had blistered her bottom through the seat of her skirt. There was neither nudity nor sex involved. As she would later admit, she got the licking of her young life for intentionally lying to me!

At the time, my girlfriend admitted she deserved to have her then teenage backside worn out. Consequently, she voluntarily put herself over my lap and took her whipping. Later, she admitted looking at herself in the mirror and finding some well-deserved bruises where she sat down.

Although my wife's parents knew I'd spanked their daughter, they didn't interfere. Back then, spanking wasn't the big deal it would become after passage of equal rights legislation. They also knew couples had to work out their own problems.

Having lived through it, I long ago came to the conclusion that Western society went through a collective panic over spanking that has only recently just begun to subside.

Neither do I believe the label Christian Domestic Discipline to be particularity helpful. For one thing, it's not necessarily Christian. Couple of all philosophical persuasion have done it at one time or the other.

Even worse, as some have alleged, is it a lifestyle. Instead it is a traditional means of resolving marital difficulties that are not easily amenable to resolution by any other means.

Unlike today's couples, my wife and I had to learn how to spank from our parents and other adults.
In my case, I was fortunate enough in my early teens to witness my brother-in-law spank my older sister in our living room after she talked back to our mother. He didn't make a big deal out of it. He just bent her over, exposed the necessary area as you described, and did what needed to be done.

Although it obviously hurt, she didn't protest. She just grimaced and too it. Then, despite her embarrassment, there was an immediate improvement it made it her attitude afterwards. Therein was a lesson for future generations.
BustUpAChiffarobe
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I have heard of it, I think it's popular in deep southern hard line reformed churches.
PacifistAg
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I wish I had a video of my wife's reaction when I was telling her about this. I can't even imagine what her reaction would be like if I told her to go stand in the corner until I'm ready to bend her over my knee and hit her till she bruises.
Elmer Dobkins
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Ol_Ag_02
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What the what? Talk about suppressed sexuality.
PacifistAg
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quote:
What the what? Talk about suppressed sexuality.
Yeah, my wife was reading it and she was like "this is bdsm". The thing is though, I don't get the sense that they get any gratification out of it. Granted, I'm not really up-to-date on the bdsm world, but you'd figure there's gratification involved. This just seems twisted. To me, this is more akin to an abusive husband and the need to dominate/control.

While clearly not every fundamentalist believes in this disturbing practice, I would be confident in saying that the vast majority that do believe in this are fundamentalist.
7thGenTexan
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It's well documented that you have much hatred and bitterness in your heart for Fundamentalsts, retired.

Just curious though: what is a fundamentalist?
John Maplethorpe
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If you're supposed to kill your daughter for not being a virgin, what's wrong with spanking your wife if she mouths off?
PacifistAg
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quote:
It's well documented that you have much hatred and bitterness in your heart for Fundamentalsts, retired.
When you start your comment out with a falsehood, I am less inclined to answer any subsequent questions. I do despise fundamentalism, but I do not hate or feel bitterness for fundamentalists. Having grown up in that world, I still talk to many of them. They know I love them, but we disagree on fundamentalism.
schmendeler
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So who spanks the husband when he misbehaves?
PacifistAg
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quote:
So who spanks the husband when he misbehaves?
That's the convenient thing about this mindset. It doesn't apply to the husband. He's the boss. The most frustrating thing about this is, based on what I've seen, the women "consent" to this. It blows my mind that any woman would, but we see that type of subservience in much of the Islamic world. I don't know if it's fear or just the fact that they are so programmed to believe it's actually compatible with Christianity.

Found this on the CDD website re: "consent":

quote:
A guideline to consent in CDD

Nonconsensual Consent is a viewpoint oft utilised in Christian Domestic Discipline marriages. The concept of nonconsensual consent means that consent is given once in the beginning for the duration of the relationship, rather than specifically for each individual instance discipline is to be carried out. She is giving consent for him to discipline her at some future time when, at that specific moment, she is non-consenting.

It is based upon consent when the wife is in a calm, relaxed state of mind, not emotionally charged, as she may be during a maritial arguement. Essentially, the wife is giving her husband permission to decide when, where, how, how often, and under what circumstances he may discipline her based on the parameters they have agreed upon in their prior discussions. A wife may withdraw or amend that consent at any time, other than just before, during, or just after discipline.



747Ag
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But what if he wants to be spanked?
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redcrayon
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quote:
I have heard of it, I think it's popular in deep southern hard line reformed churches.
No, it's not.
tehmackdaddy
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Ephesians 5
SapperAg
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Are you supporting the idea that women are lower than men and can be beaten within reason?
PacifistAg
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quote:
But what if he wants to be spanked?
I don't think it counts as "discipline" if he moans out of pleasure when being spanked.
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Aggrad08
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Yea, the website uses this black and white add to show how normal it is to tell your wife twice not too long ago and that maybe she needs told again. Progress is a slow thing sometimes.
Frok
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quote:
I have heard of it, I think it's popular in deep southern hard line reformed churches.


No its not.
PacifistAg
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quote:
quote:
I have heard of it, I think it's popular in deep southern hard line reformed churches.


No its not.

Agreed. I never even heard about this in the churches I grew up in. I think what bustup may be saying, though, is that it's popular in "deep southern hard line reformed churches" relative to elsewhere. Not that it's widespread, but that it's more likely to be found in those churches. If you asked me to describe the type of church that I believe a CDD practitioner attends, it would probably look like the one bustup references.
BustUpAChiffarobe
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Yes, allow me to rephrase, "I've only heard of it happening in deep southern reformed churches"
redcrayon
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quote:
Yes, allow me to rephrase, "I've only heard of it happening in deep southern reformed churches"
Then you didn't even read the links that were posted. This has nothing to do with the deep south or reformed churches.

I heard about this years ago and was able to join a closed group to read about it. IMO, it's consensual and almost entirely sexual in nature. Some of the people weren't regular church attenders and there were denominations of all stripes including Catholic. I wouldn't spend much time worrying that some poor sweet Southern women are being regularly spanked for not having dinner ready on time. And if they are, they want it and like it. To each their own.
BustUpAChiffarobe
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quote:
quote:
Yes, allow me to rephrase, "I've only heard of it happening in deep southern reformed churches"
Then you didn't even read the links that were posted. This has nothing to do with the deep south or reformed churches.

I heard about this years ago and was able to join a closed group to read about it. IMO, it's consensual and almost entirely sexual in nature. Some of the people weren't regular church attenders and there were denominations of all stripes including Catholic. I wouldn't spend much time worrying that some poor sweet Southern women are being regularly spanked for not having dinner ready on time. And if they are, they want it and like it. To each their own.


What do the links have to do with my personal experience?
I don't spend much time worrying about it, Retired started a thread, and I answered with my experience. I've only heard of it happening in Deep South hardline reformed churches, where biblical passages are used to justify the corporal discipline of wife by husband.
redcrayon
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quote:
quote:
quote:
Yes, allow me to rephrase, "I've only heard of it happening in deep southern reformed churches"
Then you didn't even read the links that were posted. This has nothing to do with the deep south or reformed churches.

I heard about this years ago and was able to join a closed group to read about it. IMO, it's consensual and almost entirely sexual in nature. Some of the people weren't regular church attenders and there were denominations of all stripes including Catholic. I wouldn't spend much time worrying that some poor sweet Southern women are being regularly spanked for not having dinner ready on time. And if they are, they want it and like it. To each their own.


What do the links have to do with my personal experience?
I don't spend much time worrying about it, Retired started a thread, and I answered with my experience. I've only heard of it happening in Deep South hardline reformed churches, where biblical passages are used to justify the corporal discipline of wife by husband.
Because if you'd read the links, you would have "heard" of it happening in lots of places, including in Europe.

Can you name the churches? I'd like to call them and investigate.
7thGenTexan
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Bustup is a little intimidated by southern WASPs is all. Pure bs that he's heard of this from Deep South reform churches.

BustUpAChiffarobe
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quote:
quote:
quote:
quote:
Yes, allow me to rephrase, "I've only heard of it happening in deep southern reformed churches"
Then you didn't even read the links that were posted. This has nothing to do with the deep south or reformed churches.

I heard about this years ago and was able to join a closed group to read about it. IMO, it's consensual and almost entirely sexual in nature. Some of the people weren't regular church attenders and there were denominations of all stripes including Catholic. I wouldn't spend much time worrying that some poor sweet Southern women are being regularly spanked for not having dinner ready on time. And if they are, they want it and like it. To each their own.


What do the links have to do with my personal experience?
I don't spend much time worrying about it, Retired started a thread, and I answered with my experience. I've only heard of it happening in Deep South hardline reformed churches, where biblical passages are used to justify the corporal discipline of wife by husband.
Because if you'd read the links, you would have "heard" of it happening in lots of places, including in Europe.

Can you name the churches? I'd like to call them and investigate.


You keep talking about the links, why is this? Retired kept asking if anyone had heard of this, and I had. It makes sense for me to say "from your links I see that it happens in Europe".

Sure I can name the Church, PCA. One gentleman in particular I spoke of went to church in DeFuniak Springs, FL. It sounds like you're kind of an expert in this matter, having joined closed groups to discuss it; so perhaps you can investigate the menace in the Florida panhandle.
BustUpAChiffarobe
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quote:
Bustup is a little intimidated by southern WASPs is all. Pure bs that he's heard of this from Deep South reform churches.




Yeah, those Pat Robertson and Kerry Shook dudes are pretty intimidating. I'd take Pope Benedict in his present condition over the Woodlands Church guy in a second.
redcrayon
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I'm no expert. I mean you have actually met these people in real life!!! You're the expert! You can join the group, too. There were no credentials to join. And there were several Catholics there!

I don't think it's a menace. Apparently ReitredAg was concerned so I was just easing his mind that this is probably not what he thinks it is.

Which PCA in DeFuniak Springs? This sounds very out of character for the PCA's I'm aware of in the South. And I live in the very deep South.

BTW, most of the women that I know here would punch their husbands if they tried to spank them, including me. Southern women aren't a bunch of pushovers.
redcrayon
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quote:
Bustup is a little intimidated by southern WASPs is all. Pure bs that he's heard of this from Deep South reform churches.


ITA. But he's been on vacation to the Florida Panhandle so he knows all about hard line reformed churches in the Deep South!
Wade_3
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quote:
quote:
Bustup is a little intimidated by southern WASPs is all. Pure bs that he's heard of this from Deep South reform churches.


ITA. But he's been on vacation to the Florida Panhandle so he knows all about hard line reformed churches in the Deep South!
I'm not one to jump to the defense of bustup but he simply offered his opinion on a question that was asked and he even re-phrased his initial statement to ensure it wasn't so broad.

You are being insulting and rude. Take that behavior to the politics board.
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Wade_3
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It's Easter. I'm feeling generous.
redcrayon
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quote:
quote:
quote:
Bustup is a little intimidated by southern WASPs is all. Pure bs that he's heard of this from Deep South reform churches.


ITA. But he's been on vacation to the Florida Panhandle so he knows all about hard line reformed churches in the Deep South!
I'm not one to jump to the defense of bustup but he simply offered his opinion on a question that was asked and he even re-phrased his initial statement to ensure it wasn't so broad.

You are being insulting and rude. Take that behavior to the politics board.
Yes, because this board is so kind and polite.

I'm challenging him. If you or he can't handle that, you don't belong on the internet.
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