Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student

556 Views | 9 Replies | Last: 18 yr ago by Ag_of_08
Old School Rucking
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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Cyprian
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http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp
txspec
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this crap has been going around for 10 years.
commando2004
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I've seen this many times before, but I think this was the first one to conclude that Hell is exothermic.
chicken of the sea
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ive never seen it, i thought it was pretty funny
Ferae Naturae
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Ahhh, the interweb, so full of trickery.

Why do people fall for such nonsense?
baumenhammer
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its a series of tubes!
leoj
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old, but still funny
baumenhammer
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reminds me of another similar story...

3 students went on a road trip the night before their final in physics, but got drunk, overslept, and didnt make it back in time.

they decided to beg the prof to let them take it late, and lied and said they got a flat tire, but the spare was flat too...

the prof agreed to let them take the test the next day.

they show up to take the test. He has them take it in separate rooms. The 1st problem is worth 10%. It was a simple problem of kinematics.

They turn the page and find the 2nd problem is worth 90% - "Which tire?"


[This message has been edited by kbaum07 (edited 11/16/2007 2:17p).]
dness
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I've seen this before, but it bugged me because it is based on the assumption that souls have mass...
Ag_of_08
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Kbaum.....that one is brilliant.

____________________________________________________________
Proudest member of the Fightin Texas Aggie class of 08 Beat the h*** outa tu A Whoop!!!.
= texags
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