Since The Sports Guy is one of the biggest Miami Vice fans around, I knew he'd address the movie at some point this summer, and sure enough, it's on ESPN.com today, a summer movie review column that also discusses The Devil Wears Prada,
Talladega Nights, Clerks 2, and Invincible.
His opinion on the movie explains perfectly the reason I won't see it, and the Seinfeld analogy is great:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060811
[This message has been edited by WestTxAg06 (edited 8/11/2006 9:03p).]
Talladega Nights, Clerks 2, and Invincible.
His opinion on the movie explains perfectly the reason I won't see it, and the Seinfeld analogy is great:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060811
quote:
The "Miami Vice" movie scared me for three reasons: remakes never work, they were messing with my favorite '80s show, and they were messing with my favorite cop team of all time. But Michael Mann was involved. I mean, the man created "Vice," "Heat," "Last of the Mohicans," "Manhunter" and the so-underrated-you-can't-even-find-it-in-a-video-store classic "The Jericho Mile." If he wanted to remake "Vice," I had to support the man with my $11. It's that simple.
And I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy the movie (sorry, double negative). I just didn't understand the point. When I say the movie had nothing to do with the TV show … I mean, the movie had NOTHING to do with the TV show. Here's what they had in common: A white cop named Sonny Crockett teams up with a black cop named Rico Tubbs to crack a drug case in Miami. That's it. Everything else was different. Everything. So why call it "Miami Vice"? Why not call it "Miami Heat" or "Miami Nights" or anything else with the word "Miami" in it?
For instance, let's say Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David decided, "All right, we're making a movie version of 'Seinfeld.'" Wouldn't you have a certain level of expectations for that movie? If you paid $11 and it turned out to be a movie where Seinfeld was a famous comic battling a drug problem, Elaine was his mean-spirited wife, Kramer was a friend from drug rehab trying to help him out, and George Costanza was a former NFL player who served as Jerry's bodyguard … and the movie was kinda funny, but totally different from any "Seinfeld" episode, only the movie was called "Seinfeld" … well, wouldn't you be a little confused? What's the point?
"Vice" was especially misleading because of Mann's involvement (giving the movie validity for "Vice" fans like myself) and Jamie Foxx, the perfect actor to capture Tubbs' lovable qualities (over-the-top charisma, big-time ladies man, goofy imitations, reliably good in the action scenes, a loyal sidekick to the bitter end). In the movie? Tubbs turns out to be humorless, charisma-less and devoid of anything distinguishable except for one of those billy goat goatees (like the one Caldwell Jones used to have). He also has no chemistry with Colin Farrell at all -- zero, none, zilch -- to the point that every time Foxx looks at him, you can almost see him thinking, "Wow, I can't believe this guy made it to the set today -- the last time I saw him, it was 5 a.m. and he was shotgunning a bottle of Bushmills and snorting blow off one of the extras!" What a waste of Jamie Foxx. It's unbelievable. They could have had Mos Def, 50 Cent, Andre 3000, Nelly or any other rapper-turned-actor play Tubbs and gotten the same result. Crazy.
Meanwhile, Farrell gives a decidedly uneven performance … you know, just like he does in every other Colin Farrell movie. As always, he mumbles his lines in a guttural monotone and appears to be nursing a serious hangover. (Note: It should come as no surprise that he entered drug rehab immediately after the filming ended -- and I mean, immediately, as in, "the following morning after they wrapped."Don Johnson must have been delighted when he found out who was playing Sonny. Here's one of the Hall of Fame TV characters, Sonny Crockett, the last great smoking/drinking/wisecracking/philandering TV cop, a guy's guy to the bitter end, the guy who mastered the art of "cradling a dying friend in his arms and looking away helplessly in slow motion" … and they give the role to Colin Farrell? Who was the other choice, Josh Hartnett? Freddie Prinze Jr.?
So what's left, you ask? A sleek, humorless, dreary cop movie with no real connection to the TV show, save for the city and one speedboat scene when Sonny whisks a female Asian druglord (played by Gong Li, who may or may not have been attractive in this movie, it's been seven days and I still can't decide) to Cuba for a night of dancing, mojitos and unprotected sex. Now that's something that would have happened on the show. (By the way, there were so many mojito scenes in this movie that I almost expected to see "Mojito: Himself" in the closing credits. Do not see this movie if you're trying to quit drinking.) Even right before the inevitable, over-the-top, Mann-like shootout between the good guys and the bad guys (which pales in comparison to the bank robbery in "Heat"), Mann passes up the inevitable driving scene with Crockett and Tubbs with a goose-bump-inducing song in the background (even the semi-lame cover of "In the Air Tonight" would have worked for symmetry purposes). It's almost like Mann was intentionally trying to go in the opposite direction with every expectation you would have ever had with a "Miami Vice" movie. Why? You got me.
One bonus: The thought of Don Johnson and Phil Mike Thomas seeing this movie together on opening day, then high-fiving in delight on their way out of the theater while Thomas yelled out stuff like, "The legacy lives on!"
Grade: C-plus
[This message has been edited by WestTxAg06 (edited 8/11/2006 9:03p).]