You'll be F*in fat chicks in no time

cop : my step mom is never gonna believes this
WB : thast cuz shes never gonna know b****!

Anything from the skit where Charlie Murphy gets slapped around by "Rick James."

Trajan88

Unity!

Wayne Brady choke a b**ch line gets my vote.

Close second goes to (I think this is how it goes) "Have some flap jacks... b**ches."

First season in the black white supremisist skit.

paraphrase "after 22 years of marriage clayton filed for a divorce from his wife. When i asked him why he said...Becuase she's a n***** lover"


[This message has been edited by FTAco07 (edited 2/28/2005 10:57p).]

GRA: Hello Dave Chappelle, haven't seen you in a while.

DC: Dirty, mother f*&#@%

my favorite is also "I'm rich biatch." and a close second is Rick James at Eddie Murphy's house(couch episode) "Wide nose havin', mutha f*ckers."

That whole part where Rick James/Chappelle is on the couch getting his legs whipped by the Murphy brothers is classic. Hard to pick one line out of that one.

"Night night, keep your butthole tight"
(Real World episode)

Good motha f'ing choice motha f'ckas!

Samuel L. Jackson beer commercial



"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

- George Orwell

Daddy, Nick Cannon is hilarious.

Man, f--k you son. See if you still think he's so GD hilarious when he's makin' off with yo milk money. I'm broke n-gga I'm broke!

"what you don't understand
is that i make love to my hand
that's why i don't need you honey
i beat my d--- like it owes me money"

"one, two, three, fo, FIIIIIIF!!!!"

"cunnilingus rice...that sounds like a mexican dish. maybe we should send her down to mexico so the mexicans will eat her. white power."

And as if on cue, the game gets robbed......

I wish I had more hands.....So I could give those titties Four Thumbs Down....I'm Rick James B*tch......

The "Black Bush" skit has to be my favorite.

"N***** tried to kill my father!"

"What? Oil? Who said something about oil,
bitc*? You cookin'?"

"U.N.,you gotta problem with that? You know what you should do, you should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. OH! WAIT A MINUTE! You don't have an army! I guess that means you need to shut the f*** up!"

"You might speak 16 languages but your gonna need 'em when you're in Time Square selling fake hats. I know Guicci when I see 'em n*****. I'm rich, bitc*!"

"Stankonia says their willing to drop bombs over Baghdad."

Clayton Bigsy is probably the funniest skit. Prince playing basketball was pretty good too.

quote:

---

The "Black Bush" skit has to be my favorite.

"N***** tried to kill my father!"

"What? Oil? Who said something about oil,
bitc*? You cookin'?"

"U.N.,you gotta problem with that? You know what you should do, you should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. OH! WAIT A MINUTE! You don't have an army! I guess that means you need to shut the f*** up!"

"You might speak 16 languages but your gonna need 'em when you're in Time Square selling fake hats. I know Guicci when I see 'em n*****. I'm rich, bitc*!"

"Stankonia says their willing to drop bombs over Baghdad."

---

Word. It's probably the most underrated skit he has. It's in my top three.

"N****, you see come in on that plane?! Shhhoooooo...bump, bump, bump!!!"

I can't believe no one has mentioned the player-haters ball...that was my FAVORITE!!

"Beautiful does stunts for Little Richard in gay movies."

"She does that song 'Papa Don't Preach'. I got a song for ya b*tch. Its called 'Daughta Don't Sing'."

HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE!

Buck Nasty is so dark when he touches himself it's black on black violence! (something like that)

HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE!

"Nothing could be sillier than we got good people here. We got the same cross-section of a**holes as anywhere." - Friday Night Lights

That's why - I said - F*** IT!

you know what i'd do if i didn't have an army? (into each individual microphone) shut...the...****...up.

My wife likes to walk into the room and say "is this the free crack give-away?"

Makes me laugh every time.

Tron - "I paid for this baby STRAIGHT CASH"

"What's the square-root of this apartment?!"

"Give me your d@mn sandwich"

WHHHHHHHHHATTTTTTT?

The Black Bush one gets me everytime.

Chap - "But I'm gonna keep it real."

Sidekick - "Keep it real son!"

Chap - "You want me to keep it real?"

Sidekick - "Keep it really real SON!"

Chap - "He tried to kill my father..."

Sidekick - "Say word he tried to kill you father?!?!"

Chap - "THE ***** TRIED TO KILL MY FATHER!!"

Sidekick - "Word to everything we LOVE we coming to see y'all SON!"

I love it when he drops the SON at the end of ever sentence. Never gets old.

jim

[This message has been edited by Jim01 (edited 3/9/2005 8:38a).]

"Hey all ya'll *****s needs to mix cocaine with baking soda to make crack.

p.s. ppprrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

I also like the John Mayer skit.
"White people CAN dance, you just have to play the right kind of music."

[This message has been edited by ParisTx04 (edited 3/9/2005 8:44a).]

Player Haters Ball

"It's ironic that you were talking about my coat, it's made from your mother's pubic hair"

Re-make of Armageddon

Handing the cure for AIDS to the white girl and saying "This is for last night"

Classic.

On the mad real season, when they are shootin dice in the alley and they hear the cop siren

all ad libbed by dave and the other two just played along with it