I was listening to Gordon Lightfoot on Nov. 10th, as one does of course, and Cats in the cradle popped up in my suggested today and I just let it play. I have heard it of course several times over the years but I have never actually paid attention to the lyrics, just absent mindedly hummed along to the chorus so I never knew what it was really about. Until now.

Yeah, it floored me. I am actually pretty glad I was alone while I had my mini breakdown. I have extremely deep-seated daddy issues since birth essentially. My father passed away very unexpectedly earlier this year and not a single bit of them was or ever will be resolved now. I was probably as close to as being abandoned by him as you can get without actually getting labeled as such, which in hindsight I honestly wonder if it would not have been better if he had just disappeared completely.

So I carried that and never dealt with it properly and even reciprocated last few years and stopped trying to have a father altogether (which turns out is also not healthy apparently) and then he died. And now I hear this song out of nowhere and hear the lyrics and understand them for the first time and man, punch to the gut and then some.

Just had to get that off my chest I guess but also wondering if any of yall have ever been just absolutely waylaid by a song that connects to you in such a powerful way that it just completely shifts your entire day or even week?

My dad and I are pretty close and see each other somewhat often. However, the last few months I've been extremely busy with all three of the kids having a ton of extra curriculars going on. So, I've had to turn him down a few times when he called to hang out.

His response after the third or fourth time he invited me somewhere was "I get it. Cats in the Cradle."

My heart dropped so far I almost threw up. I was sick to my stomach for a solid couple of hours after that. I know he didn't mean to give me that reaction, but the lyrics to that song can really hit you deep.

Chapin one of the most underrated folk singers of l time.

If you get the chance listen it Greatest Stories Live from start to finish. Has a great live version of Cats.

That song is tough. It has a whole different meeting as you get older, especially if you have kids.

I make an effort to not live that song. But it happens.

While just a simple catchy tune, it is a heavy, heavy song. I have always had a great relationship with my dad…he explained this song to me when I was a 10 or 12 yr old boy and I remember being like "whoa" even back then. Still loved the song, but thereafter it just made me kind of sad. Made me cry once in college while I was driving. It's a warning meant for young men…don't go down that path, break the painful cycle and learn from it if you had a bad or distant relationship with your father, your son or daughter deserves better.

maroon barchetta said:

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That song is tough. It has a whole different meeting as you get older, especially if you have kids.

I make an effort to not live that song. But it happens.

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Good perspective and yes it does happen.

I have been hearing that song all my life as my parents always had music playing in the house or car. Their generation's music.

My brothers and I had a good relationship with our dad but he was hard on us, not to be confused with abusive. I never really developed a true relationship with the man until I had sons of my own and actually started listening to him.

In August, he turned 80. My folks live on the west coast. I know he wanted us to come up but my wife's work was crazy, our oldest was moving to College Station for school, and our younger boy was crazy busy with football. I just told the family I have to do this for dad and flew up and spent eight days with my parents. And I know what it meant to dad that paused my life to celebrate his.

In April my younger brother and I are going on a 10+ day trip to Europe with dad to hit his remaining bucket list destinations. Same thing, I just said F it I will clear my schedule and make it work.

Different perspective for me… I've got a 1-year old and already feel like time is slipping by. Work keeps me busy, and I'm struggling to connect a little bit with him. On one hand it'll be easier when I can engage in his hobbies and stuff but on the other… what am I waiting for?

Ugly Kid Joe did a cover of it that got some decent airplay, and it would drive me absolutely crazy because in the cover version he keeps the line "When you coming home son? I don't know when." throughout the whole song instead of alternating from dad -> son.

THATS THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE SONG

Not exactly the same theme, but Sawyer Brown's "The Walk" always gets to me in a similar manner.

I have a daughter who passed away at 7 weeks in 2016.

I turn into a puddle every time I hear Eric Clapton's "Tears In Heaven".

I cycle between hating hearing that song, and sometimes needing to hear it.

It's very difficult to describe.

She would be 8 years old now.

I have a wonderful 10 year old son and 6 year old daughter who I absolutely adore today...but damnit, I cry at night more often than I would admit wishing I could have all 3.

Oh my God.

"That's My Job" by Conway Twitty hits me.

Prayers for you, I just cannot imagine that pain

rhutton125 said:

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Different perspective for me… I've got a 1-year old and already feel like time is slipping by. Work keeps me busy, and I'm struggling to connect a little bit with him. On one hand it'll be easier when I can engage in his hobbies and stuff but on the other… what am I waiting for?

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Breathe easy. It's mom's time right now. Just be there. Your time as dad becomes increasingly important as he grows. Just trust me on this. And don't be his friend. Be his dad.

I lost my mom in 2011. She was 69, too young but who am I to question God's plan for her life? I responded to her loss by ensuring that I talked to my dad daily. It was still a few years away at the time, but eventually my dad's health deteriorated, and I lost him in 2018. But I cherish all that time I spent with him, even when some of those times were difficult getting him to various doctors appointments.

Back to my mom, she loved the Christmas season. She instilled that in me, which is why I put up all the lights and trees that I do. She also infused a love of Christmas music in me. Every year on KSBJ, they play Christmas music non-stop from Black Friday to Christmas Day. So along comes Christmas time 2011. There is a song about a kid who wants to buy his mom a pair of shoes because he knows she is going to meet Jesus that night. That song tore me up for the next few Christmases, but I haven't heard it in probably a decade now.

Edit to add - during those couple of years when my dad's health was failing, I was out of work. It was a blessing not only to be available to spend all that time with him, but also to be there for everything in my youngest child's life at the time. She was in junior high, and I am so glad of the time I got to spend with her helping her with homework or taking her to her school events or the movies or whatever.