San Francisco, 2021. Dr. Stanley Goodspeed (Nicolas Cage) has returned to Alcatraz Prison for the first time in 25 years to promote his book "Carla Was the Prom Queen" - tales of his harrowing adventure to the landmark 25 years ago in which he helped rescue 100 hostages and save the West Coast from the threat of VX rockets under the command of rogue Brigadier General Francis Hummel.

Also visiting the tourist attraction that Saturday afternoon is famous international treasurer hunter Benjamin Gates (Nicolas Cage), along with his smoking hot wife Abigail Chase (whatever her real name is), Riley "I will never be a leading man" Poole (Justin Bartha), and Jon Voight (Jon Voight) on the quest to find Al Capone's hidden vault. You see, that one Geraldo opened on TV 35 years ago was a phony, and Gates and his team believe the real vault is in a secret compartment somewhere on Alcatraz containing wealth and history worth a fortune.

When terrorists descend on the island to spread a weaponized version of the coronavirus, these two men of science are forced back into action, quickly forming an alliance based on their passion for history, their ability to solve puzzles, and their ABILITY TO SAY WORDS IN A VERY EXCITED VOICE!

But the terrorists are savage, brutal, and highly trained, and the two doctors are in over their heads from the get-go. But fate, thy name is Cage on this day. For the last tour boat to the island carries a man who has been sight-seeing with his family in the Bay Area that day, a former Army Ranger with the most perfectly dangling hair and southern accent that Jesus Christ ever blessed the Earth with. And when Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage) fights off 19 terrorists equipped with COVID-19 plasma-based rifles to save Dr. Goodspeed and Dr. Gates, he'll turn to these two new friends and say, What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna save the ****in' day!

Triple the Action
Triple the Cage
July 4, 2021
National Con Rock: The Movie

I'd rather see a live action mcbain or lethal weapon 7

But what if the terrorists are led by Castor Troy?

rhutton125 said:

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But what if the terrorists are led by Castor Troy?

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I recently watched the episode of Community where Abed is taking a "Nicolas Cage: Good or Bad?" class. His Nicolas Cage impression had me rolling

Duncan Idaho said:

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I'd rather see a live action mcbain or lethal weapon 7

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Only if it's "Let's Get Silly"

Will he parachute into Alcatraz with a bunch of Elvis impersonators?

I would watch this movie if it was on Netflix.

I would pay $100 and go sit in a theater with nothing but Covid positive people to see this.

Let me guess - the weaponized coronavirus is going to be spread by infected bees?

MGS said:

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Will he parachute into Alcatraz with a bunch of Elvis impersonators?

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He'll jump Eleanor off the pier...after listening to Low Rider.

Make this movie or the bunny gets it.

Claude! said:

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Let me guess - the weaponized coronavirus is going to be spread by infected bees?

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If this movie hits, I'm working on a script for "Blood on the Blackboard" that I want to submit.

The climax has to feature Jake "I am the greatest" Preston flying in to save the day with his Apache just as the terrorists have the heroes cornered.

Any chance Dwayne Johnson can make an appearance on Alcatraz? You know, The Rock on The Rock.

Milwaukees Best Light said:

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Any chance Dwayne Johnson can make an appearance on Alcatraz? You know, The Rock on The Rock.

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How about the coronavirus mutates the island and gives it sentinence and The Rock provides the voice while referring to itself as The Rock in the third person. The CGI couldn't be any worse than The Scorpion King.

mazag08 said:

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I would pay $100 and go sit in a theater with nothing but Covid positive people to see this.

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This guy has to be there.

A guy drinking himself to death changes his ways by falling in love with a stripper during a high stakes poker game. They get married and can't have kids, so they decide to steal one from a the guy that tried to con him at the poker game using an Elvis Impersonator disguise.

Leaving my Honeymoon in Vegas to Raise Arizona

I always thought that a movie version of "Captain Underpants" starring Nicholas Cage would have been sure fire hit. Possibly the greatest movie since The Godfather.