A very quotable tv show...

I present the best by Mr. Dale Gribble (aka Rusty Shackleford)

"I tell you what it is. It's your quote un-quote pollution control. I heard on talk radio you don't even need 'em. It's just the latest nazi government plot. Open your eyes, man, they're trying to control Global Warming. Get it Global. That's U.N. Commissars code for telling us what the temperature is gonna be in our outdoors. Let it warm up I say. See what Butchros Butchros Ghali Ghali thinks of that. We'll grow oranges in Alaska."

Dale, you giblet-head, we live in Texas. It's already 110 in the summer. And if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass.

"My chicken's the star of the show."

The only woman I'm pimping from now on is Sweet Lady Propane. And I'm tricking her out all over this town.

Jackal99 said:

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"Well I need a window seat, because this flower is wiltin'."

"I do believe I'll give room service a jangle and have them send up some etoufee."

The Louisiana episode has to be one of the best ever.

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100%. All of Bobby's lines and Gilbert Dauterive's lines >>>

6am and already the boy ain't right.

Bobby: Why do you have to hate what you don't understand?

Hank: I don't hate you, Bobby.

Bobby: I meant soccer.

Hank: Oh. yeah I hate soccer, yes!

"I'm a little worried about being a sl.ut"

Bobby when Peggy tries to give him the sex talk

Bobby: I just wanted to say you don't have to worry about me, 'cause I'm never gonna have sex.

Hank: Whoa, Bobby, now don't say that!

Bobby: I thought that's what you wanted.

Hank: Well, yes, if you were my daughter, but you're my son.

Bobby: Why is it not okay for girls, but it's okay for boys?

Hank: It's called the Double Standard, Bobby, and don't knock it. We got the long end of the stick on that one.

Hank Hill:
You gotta give a hundred and ten percent. That's what'll give you that winnin' edge.
Bobby Hill:
But what if the Wildcats give a hundred and ten percent, too?
Hank Hill:
Well, then you gotta try even harder.
Peggy Hill:
How about if Bobby gave a hundred and twelve percent?
Hank Hill:
Ahm ... sure, that'd work.
Bobby Hill:
Or maybe a hundred and thirteen?
Hank Hill:
[Annoyed] Yeah, yeah, that's even better.
Peggy Hill:
No, uh, I don't know. Thirteen is a very unlucky number.
Hank Hill:
Look, we're not talking about thirteen. We're talking about a hundred and thirteen, and even ... uh ... okay, give a hundred and twelve, what's the difference? Look, Bobby. Just do your best, okay?

"Dammit Bobby, you just can't go through life kissing a mannequin head, it just ain't right."

My dad says butane is the ******* fuel.

Bobby: Dad, I used your toothbrush.

Hank, immediately: Throw it out.



From the episode where Hank learns he was born in New York.

PEGGY: Hank, informed sources tell me that you were dead in the water, and then you came back to life. So you were reborn in Texas. Meaning you are a native Texan.
HANK: No, I'm not a native Texan. I'm just a Texan.
PEGGY: And I am a Texan too.
HANK: I don't remember seeing any Montana flag at the Alamo.
PEGGY: Well, it wasn't a state then.
HANK: Fine, everybody's a Texan. Change planes in Dallas, you're a Texan.

Time for a re-watch

*After being stuck in Mexico for a while, Hank stands on the Mexico side of the the border fence and looks north.*

"America. Texas. Home."

Bobby: Grandpa doesn't even know your name.
Luanne: Yes he does! It's Missy Melons!