I love when hank speeds up through a yellow light to leave the pimp stuck at the red light but then he just runs it and hank is shocked.

After caddying for Buck Strickland, Bobby: "Mr. Stickland said he got under more balls than a midget hooker"

Bobby Hill: Why do you hate what you don't understand, Dad?
Hank: I don't hate you, Bobby.
Bobby Hill: I meant soccer.

Hank Hill: To catch a fish, you must think like a fish.
Bobby Hill: I'm wet and I don't even know it.
Hank Hill: That's not what I mean. Look, where are fish likely to gather? Maybe by that patch of algae.
Bobby Hill: That algae does look pretty good.

LATER IN THE EPISODE

Bobby Hill: Maybe it's just like you said. To catch a fish, you must think like a fish. We just have to think like hippies.
Hank Hill (deadpan): That is impossible.
Bobby Hill: Come on, dad. How do you know if you don't try. I'm a hippie. I'm naked because I smoked all my clothes.

TAMMI: Hank, don't! Alabaster's a little guy, but he'll mess you up.
HANK: No offense, but he's from Oklahoma.

Bobby, on Ritalin, sitting at the kitchen table, staring into space: Milk's going bad. <pause> There it went.

"Wichita Falls is the greatest place in the world."

I know it probably wasn't all that funny to most people, but my sister went to Midwestern State in Wichita Falls. I used to quote that line in my best Bobby voice every time she talks about the town or her school.

Hank, when knocking on a portopotty, "Es este Juan ocupado?"

There's something missing, something wrong...it's like a pretty girl with short hair.

Bobby I'm going to tell you to do two things I hope you never have to do again, tape the Cowboys game and fetch me an apron.

If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.

Singer: Hey man, Jesus had long hair.
Hank: That's because he wasn't my son.