Dental plan!!!!

And that's the rock where I see the leprechaun. He tells me to burn the things.

Bart imagining himself as a morbidly obese adult: "I warsh myself with a rag on a stick."

This thread is cracking me up.

In your face space coyote!

I quote at least once a week: "Everything's coming up Milhouse!"

Im a rage-a-holic!! Im addicted to rage-a-hol!!

HOW TO COOK HUMANS

wipes dust off book
HOW TO COOK FOR HUMANS

more dust
HOW TO COOK FORTY HUMANS

more dust
HOW TO COOK FOR FORTY HUMANS

Lisa: But your card says Work on contingency, no money down

Lionel Hutz: There's a problem with the punctuation. It should read: Work on contingency? No, money down!

"NO TV AND NO BEER, MAKE HOMER SOMETHING SOMETHING"
"Go crazy?"
"DON'T MIND IF I DO!!"

"What do you want, Lisa? A tubamaba? An obomabo? oh....a saxamaphone!..." - Homer Simpson

Im Mr. Plow thats my name, that name again is Mr. Plow.

Grampa (with hammer and wooden stake): Quick! We have to kill the boy!
Marge: How'd you know he was a vampire?
Grampa: He's a vampire? AHHH!

Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: [worried] That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
Homer: [stares]
Owner: That's bad.

Marge: Where did you get that suit?
Homer: Woah, woah, one question at a time. [Points to Marge] Yes, you?
Marge: Homer, I am getting really worried you are going overboard with this. We are out of clothespins, there are half-eaten cupcakes all around the house, and the curtains smell like doob.
Homer: Well I got news for you: I just got promoted and it's all thanks to yes-I-cannabis! (Homer walks away) We have a kitchen?

Ralph Wiggum: Hi Lisa. Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers.

quote:

---

Everybody's marriages is falling apart except ours. You see the problem is communication.... too much communication.

---

quote:

---

Marge: Where did you get that suit?
Homer: Woah, woah, one question at a time. [Points to Marge] Yes, you?
Marge: Homer, I am getting really worried you are going overboard with this. We are out of clothespins, there are half-eaten cupcakes all around the house, and the curtains smell like doob.
Homer: Well I got news for you: I just got promoted and it's all thanks to yes-I-cannabis! (Homer walks away) We have a kitchen?

---

good god where is this episode on the internet??? ive only seen it one time, and i remember laughing my ****ing ass off in this scene....

for those that don't recognize the quote, it's the episode where homer goes on medicinal marijuana.

(everyone singing)

MONORAIIIIIIIL!

MONORAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!

MONORAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!

MONORAIL!

(by himself)
Homer: Mono....D'OH!

Wow, didn't expect this to take off. Keep em coming!

To alcohol: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

O, someone already got this one.

[This message has been edited by Gradin (edited 4/5/2012 7:48a).]

Homer, to postal worker: Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Worker: OK, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: I don't know.
-----
Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you!
Homer: BATMAN?!
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: IT'S NOT BATMAN!
----
Tall Man: Do you find something comical about my appearance while I'm driving my automobile? Everyone must drive an auto, even the very tall. Should I therefore be made the subject of fun?
----
Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you HoJu!
----
Ah, so many quotes, so little time. (apologies for the repeats.)

[This message has been edited by AggieDem (edited 4/5/2012 8:09a).]

quote:

---

Karl: "Don't you see? The tartar sauce, the bathroom key, drying your boss's hands -- you did it all. It was never the hair. You did it because you believed you could and you still can!"

Homer: "No, I can't. I'm just a big fool."

Karl: "Oh no, you're not."

Homer: "How do you know?"

Karl: "Because my mother taught me never to kiss a fool!" [kisses Homer]

Homer: [surprised] "Karl!"

Karl: "Now go get 'em, tiger!"

[Homer growls and charges out the door. As he leaves, Karl pats him on the behind.]

---

[This message has been edited by OD (edited 4/5/2012 8:19a).]

Great thread.

"Shut up, brain! Or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!" - Homer

"But I'm no super-genius....or are I?" - Homer

"Mono" is for one! And "rail" is for rail!

Glad to see some Lionel Hutz make it in this thread. I literally laugh everytime he just shows up on screen. Great character.

Less artsy, more fartsy.

"My hot plate! I only had two payments left!" - Gil

"I was saying BOOO-Urns!" - Hans Moleman

quote:

---

Hutz: Well, you good folks can rest easy now because you've come to the very best in legal representation.
Skinner: Uh, excuse me, is there an Orange Julius stand on this floor?
Hutz: I'll sell you this one, it's almost full.
Skinner: Well, why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl.
Hutz: He'll be back. And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in this state -- often as a lawyer. [drinks his Orange Julius]

---

Grampa, after getting the helper monkey:

Grampa:"Ooh, this monkey is gonna change my life!"

After Homer leaves....

Grampa: "...I can't wait to eat that monkey..."

Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.

Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they came to your aid,be they [points to Ned] Christian, [Krusty] Jew, or [Apu] ... miscellaneous.

Apu: Hindu! There are 700 million of us.

Rev. Lovejoy: Aw, that's super.

My dad says Branson is what Vegas would be like if it was run by Ned Flanders.

"Awww for cryin' out glayvin!!!!" - Professor Frink


I might just be doing this all day.

Homer: This is the last bar in town. If they don't let me in, I'll have to stop drinking!
Homer's Liver: Yay!
Homer: Shut up, liver! (Punches himself) Ow... My liver hurts...

Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day, I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later, I'll go a little later...' And when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he'll ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again!

^Some good LOL's being delivered with that line.

Ranger: Okay, search party, before we set out, let's take a moment to
humor the children.
[to Bart and Lisa] Kids, your father's gonna be just fine!
Okay, everybody, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got
two frozen bodies buried somewhere in this mountain.
Bart: Did you hear that, Lis'? Dad's gonna be just fine.

I have misplaced my pants.

Don't know why, but that part of the burlesque house episode always gets me.