quote:

---

Hey, Lenny! Remember that time I paid you back that money you loaned me? Well now it's time for you to do me a favor.

-Homer Simpson

---

[This message has been edited by OD (edited 4/4/2012 4:52p).]

quote:

---

To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all life's problems.
-Homer

---

quote:

---

Marge: "How will the kids get home?"
Homer: "I dunno, the internet?"

---

[This message has been edited by Sex Panther (edited 4/4/2012 4:50p).]

"Puppy Goo Goo, fetch me a dream!"

^That's my favorite. But the best easily is:

"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

Is the poop deck really what I think it is?
I like the cut of your jib, sailor.
What's a jib?

Homer no function beer well without.

Homer: Will you kids knock off the racket?! I can't hear myself think!!

*kids quiet down*

*Inside Homer's head: I want some peanuts.*

Homer: Thank you.



[This message has been edited by OD (edited 4/4/2012 5:09p).]

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Why did you think a giant bubble would stop them?...SHUT UP! That's why!

1)
Homer: Marge, I'm leaving to join the (forgot ridiculously large name) arm wrestling circuit.
Marge: How will this affect your job at the power plant?
Homer: Negatively I assume

2)
Marge: Homer, your job called. They said if you take Friday off, don't bother coming in on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four day weekend!!

This game is amazing, and all I've done is enter my name ... THRILLHOUSE!

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer

quote:

---

Sounds like Springfield has a discipline problem.
Maybe that's why we beat them at foot all nearly half the time

---

quote:

---

Silent alarm activated!

---

quote:

---

Principal Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Superintendant Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Principal Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
Superintendant Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams.
Principal Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Superintendant Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Principal Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Superintendant Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone the phrase, "steamed hams."
Principal Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Superintendant Chalmers: I see.
Superintendant Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Principal Skinner: Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe.
Superintendant Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Principal Skinner: Yes
Superintendant Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

---

quote:

---

Marge's French bowling instructor, Jacques: Marge, there are ten pins in my heart...you have knocked over eight. Won't you please...go for the spare!

---

P.S. As you can see, mine are all from the nineties. It's been awhile!



[This message has been edited by OD (edited 4/4/2012 5:08p).]

quote:

---

And heeeere commmmmme the pretzels!

---

We can call em whitey whackers

Bart: "That sucks"
Marge: Bart! where did you learn that language?
Bart: I don't know.
Homer: (on the phone with Carl) "They sure did suck. They were the suckist sucks whoever sucked."

Oh Samsill, you left off the best part!

"oops, gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening..."

And my contribution:

"They were having S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!!!"
"Sex Cauldron?! I thought they shut that place down?!"

I was wondering, do you deliver falafel to the top of Mt. Zion? Great. I'd like a large falafel with pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese. Yes I know what a falafel is.
-Homer

You don't win friends with salad!
You don't win friends with salad!

Homer's invitation: Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra "B" is for BYOBB.
Lisa: What's that B for?
Homer: That's a typo.

Homer: You know me, Marge, I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fa-laaaaaming.

Homer: There are three ways to do things, kids: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Homer: I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!

Homer: Saaaaaave me Jeeeeeebus!!!

Chief Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis r Jewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Joe Friday: That's Homer J Simpson, chief. You're reading it upside down.
Chief Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Joe Friday: Uh, chief, you're talking into your wallet.


[This message has been edited by EliteZags (edited 4/4/2012 5:31p).]

quote:

---

Remember that time he ate my goldfish and you lied and said I didn't have a goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl Bart…why did I have the bowl?

---

Homer: I need my driveway plowed, I live on the top of Mt Springfield.

Barney: I don't know, that would take me all day.

Homer: There's a $10,000 bill in it for you.

Barney: $10,000 bill? What president's on it?

Homer: Uhh... All of them. They're having a party.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Worst. episode. ever.

quote:

---

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop

---

Homer, you lied to me.

Marge it takes 2 people to tell a lie - 1 to talk and 1 to listen.

Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all..
Nothing at all...
NOTHING AT ALL...

Stupid, sexy Flanders!

     
“(Lisa) "I'm going to become a vegetarian"

(Homer) "Does that mean you're not going to eat any pork?"

"Yes" "

Bacon?" "

Yes Dad"

Ham?

" "Dad all those meats come from the same animal"

"Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!"”

Godspeed, little doodle.

Great idea for a thread.

I submit:

Marge walks into Moe's. Moe and Barney look around awkwardly.

Barney: Oh my god a girl, what do we do?

Moe pulls out cowboys hat, puts it on, and tips it. "Ma'am."

in this house we obey the laws OF THERMODYNAMICS!

Urge to kill ... RISING!

Used the "wonderful, magical animal" line at supper tonight. And I hadn't seen this thread yet.

Homer: Here are your messages. You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube.

*Phone rings*

Homer: Hello, Mr. Burns office.

Burns: Is it about my cube?